From Here On Out

20

She wanted to wait. She really did. She wanted it to stay just between her and her baby. Oh, and Jas and Mary of course. If it was up to her, she would just crawl into a tunnel, hide there, and not let anyone know. She had hardly come to terms with it herself, yet she was expected to explain it to other people?

Emmy hadn't slept all night, tossing and turning in bed, berating herself and fighting her reality. She hated that she had gotten herself into this, and she spent the whole night yelling at the brain that didn't stop her. It would be so easy to turn all this hurt and confusion into resentment towards Daveed, and for an hour last night, she almost did. But she knew, deep down she knew she couldn't do that. This was just as much on her as it was him. Now, she just had to let him in on the news.

She didn't even know how to tell him. "Hey I'm having your kid?", "Hey, remember that time I said I was mad at you but fucked you anyways, yeah we made a baby!", or her personal favorite "Yeah, so we're not even officially dating but guess what? We're having a baby together!"

All of this felt so silly. Being pregnant as a whole felt silly. And she knew she had a choice to make, but the thing is... she had kind of already made it, yesterday. This was probably the worst timing to have a baby, she had just started college, but she didn't want to give it up. She hated the circumstances around it, but she already loved her child, and she wanted to keep it.

It was almost 7am and Emmy thought this was an acceptable time to get out of bed. Jasmine probably wouldn't be up for another few hours, but at least she would have a little more alone time to think.

She stood up from her bed and slowly climbed down from its raised structure. She headed towards the bathroom, pushed the door open, and flipped on the lights.

The past night provided her with no sleep, and as a result, she was extremely tired. She started her routine slowly, the exhaust present in her eyes. Before she picked up her toothbrush, she stared at herself just a moment longer in the mirror. She lifted her shirt, just above her stomach, and looked down even though she knew nothing would be there.

Emmy looked down at her stomach then back up at the mirror. It was a trippy feeling to know everything was different, yet from outside, you couldn't tell at all.

She opened her mouth in a whisper, "Hello... baby?" she said hesitantly. "Umm... how's it going in there?" she had no idea what you say to a barely formed fetus but she tried her best. "Nice to meet you, I guess."

With that, she let her shirt go and continued to brush her teeth. She got in the shower and got dressed, just like she always did. That was another thing, the feeling of doing everything normally now but knowing that if she went through with this, her whole routine would be different, especially when the baby came.

Once she finished up in the bathroom, she went back out. It had only been near an hour, and Jasmine was still asleep.

Emmy climbed back on her bed and pulled the lap desk over her. She started to work on some leftover homework. As she worked, yet another thought came to her. "What about school?" she asked herself.

Marymount was a dream come true. She loved it here and all her best friends were here. And at the moment, she had no idea how she would have a baby and continue to pursue this lifelong dream.

Many moments later, she heard Jas begin to shake in her covers. She was slowly waking up, sitting up and wiping the sleep out of her eyes. The first thing Jasmine noticed was the fact that Emmy was already up and dressed.

"Good morning," Emmy called over to her.

"G' morning," she said, still half asleep, "How's everything?"