Scarlett Ngcobo

Chapter 38

I looked at myself or a ghost version of myself. I looked as if I had wrestled with crocodiles. My eyes were puffy and red. It didn't help that I couldn't keep anything down, I kept on vomiting air. I was no longer interested in the competition. I wanted to feel sorry for myself the entire day, and cry when I wanted to. I took a long bath, I cried most of the time. I wanted to cry and cry some more. I want to leave this bathroom and not cry for Jas ever again!
Still in my gown I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat, but Kele beat me to it. She had made most of the things I seem to enjoy. My sudden favourite, bacon and jam sandwich. Blueberry and banana muffins, strawberries, mint and apple smoothie. I felt like crying all over again because, one I was happy that she made my weird cravings. Two, the strawberries, mint and apple smoothie was that cow's favourite smoothie. I didn't understand why she had to put in mint as well but as soon as I tasted it, it tasted like heaven. Have no idea how heaven tastes like or why would anyone even taste heaven. Bottom line, it tasted like heaven.
“Chommie, you did this for me?”
“Last time I checked you're the only one who enjoys this weird combo. Not me.”
“Thank you.” I started with the muffins. These are amazing I said with my mouth full. “I didn't know you can bake?”
“I don't know how to bake. If you open our bin, you will see the amount of attempts I had. If you had said those are horrible, I would've cried!”
“Delicious chommie.” there was a knock on the door. “Are you expecting Someone?”
“No.”
Opening the door, we found a delivery man holding a huge bouquet of roses. I laughed and shook my head.
“I'm looking for a Ms Ngcobo?”
“That's me..”
“Okay ma'am. Please sign here for me.”
We went back inside. Kele was hot on my heels. I squinted my eyes and looked at her.
“Why are you following me around? Go and eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”
“I've already had my breakfast!”
I read the card;

Khanyisile Ngcobo, I hope these flowers put a smile on your beautiful face. Seeing you cry like that broke my heart. I don't ever want to see you cry like that.. unless if it's because I have my dick blocking your airways and you can't breathe. - dark chocolate.

“Chommie who is this dark chocolate?”
I couldn't help myself, I burst into laughter. Kele’s confused face didn't help the situation. I laughed until I couldn't anymore. “I have no idea who dark chocolate is.”
“You have been receiving flowers before you even quit. Now you're still receiving more flowers. Bitch I wasn't born last night.”
“I'm going to get dressed. If I don't leave in the next 45 minutes I'm going to be late.”
“Okay, give me a clue!”
“He is dark.”
“Really? I already figured that out.”
I shrugged my shoulders and went to my room.
I will find my costume at the venue. I wore my tracksuits and did my makeup. I wanted to look fierce like a warrior. Inside I didn't feel like a warrior and I prayed that doesn't impact my dance routine. My facial expressions and the movement of my legs and arms must not be confusing. I want to move with grace. I want to leave my soul bare for the judges. Mpumi video called me.
“Our butterfly!”
“Hey.”
“Just hey? Aren't you supposed to be over the moon right now. This is your dream. What you have always wanted.”
I could tell her but that would put me in a worse mood. I faked a smile. “I'm good, it must be the nerves.”
“Nerves? I'll pretend to believe you but after that competition, you better call me and tell me what's wrong.”
“I promise. Where's my husband?”
She blushed. Did my sister just blush? “Spit it out Mpumelelo!”
“Haibo! I'm still your older sister, stop acting like I'm the baby here?”
“That's not going to work.” I raised a brow. “I'm still waiting.”
“Fine! I sent him to his grandparents because I'm going out on a date with Yarona!”
“Wait, slow down. A date with who?”
“Yarona Mothusi.”
“Who the heck is Yarona? How come I've never heard of him?”
“You remember when you forced us to go out clubbing?” I nodded so she could continue. “That handsome guy who had me giggling like an idiot?”
“Wow!”
“No judgements, you said I should date again.”
“I'm not judging you. I'm trying to figure out how did this all happen.”
“I'm at work right now and you have to get ready for a competition. I'll give you the details later after getting ready for my date.”
“Enjoy yourself! You deserve some happiness.”
“Must I wear a sexy lingerie just.. you know if we end up doing other things.”
“You want to do other things as well?” I enjoyed seeing Mpumi so awkward and out of her element.
“Stop laughing at me. Will that make me a slut?”
“Lalela sis’ wami, if you want to dedela the cookie on the first date, do it! If you and Yarona don't work. Try Victor and Joseph until you meet the one.”
“Victor and Joseph? Uyadina wena! Why not Dominque or Vusi at least?”
“Either way, you got my point. I love you and do you! I have to go now.”

We arrived where the competition would be held. Looking at the competitors, the nerves got the best of me. I started feeling out of place. Most of these dancers, have been dancing for years! Practicing everyday. I felt as if I didn't belong here. I had changed into my nude with red stripes, skin tight bodysuit. My hair was in two ponytails, my makeup was very good. The pop of the red and orange on my eyelids, made me fierce.
“Are you ready ntokazi?”
“No.”
“Woza la.” I disappeared into my dad's warm embrace. I felt safe and protected. No one could hurt me when I'm here. If it were possible, I would cry on his chest until I fell asleep.
“Baba.”
“Khuluma sthandwa sami. Talk to daddy.”
“I love you. I love you so much. God gave me the best father ever. I appreciate everything you have done for me. One day you're going to be proud of me.”
“Khanyisile what's wrong?”
“Kodwa Baba. A girl can't tell you that she love you just nje? I just needed you to know how much I love you.”

Even though we were backstage, we could see the dancers. I was looking at Sandra doing the pirouette like a queen. I started getting nervous. She made it look so easy! I was the only contemporary dancer left. Not only from our academy but also from other contestants. I felt someone softly tapping me. I turned and it was Jolene. She was from our academy. We were the ones representing our academy, at the competition.
“Just relax, you got this okay?”
“I'm so nervous. What if I forget my moves or freeze in front of everyone?”
“Nerves are okay. But don't let them overpower you. If you were not good, you wouldn't be here. Only the best of the best is here. Look around. You're here because you deserve to be here. Okay? Chin up and break a leg.” we laughed.
“Thank you I needed to hear that.”
“One of us has to win the competition. If it's not me, it better be you.”
On the intercom they called me to the stage. *The last contestant for the contemporary group, all the way from Penelope's Dance Academy. Khanyisile Scarlett Ngcobo!*
I could hear the loud screams as I went to the stage. Breath in and out, you got this Khanyi.

The song I chose was, “Male Fantasy” by Billie Eilish. The song was relatable. It was a last minute change.
I started of by doing a double spin leading into multiple pirouettes. I used my hands and face, to express how I felt. I did a double reverse spin..
I got more emotional at the second verse of the song...
“I got a call from a girl I used to know
We were inseparable years ago
Thought we'd get along but it wasn't so
And it's all I think about when I'm behind the wheel
I worry this is how I'm always gonna feel
But nothing lasts, I know the deal...
Cause I loved you then
And I love you now I don't know how..”

I did the curl down and up before the leg swings. I finished my routine with a grand jeté and the pirouette again. I was a crying mess. Seeing almost everyone up on their feet, cheering for me. That was amazing but the icing on the cake was when one of the best contemporary dancers in SA, Mapaseka Motaung came up to the stage to give me a bone crushing hug. This is a moment I'll never forget. Whether I lose or win, this was the beginning of new, beautiful memories.
“You were great up there baby. You did good. Judging from how you're crying, I know you left your heart on the stage.” She hugged me again before I went backstage.
“Girl that was breath-taking!” Jolene said.

Unfortunately I didn't make it in the top three. Atleast Jolene made it. She took the second place. I was really happy for her. Third and second position would each get R10 000 but the one who took the first position would be getting, R25 000. An opportunity to also compete in Russia at the “World of contemporary” dance competition. Winner will get an opportunity to attend the Russian school of Art for a year. All expenses paid.
I changed back into my tracksuits then I joined my parents and friends outside where they were waiting for me.
“There comes our world class champion.” trust Kele with the drama.
“We are so proud of you my baby. You might not have won but seeing you doing what you love, was just amazing.” she looked at the time on her phone. “My love I'll transfer some money into your account, go have fun with your friends.” I hugged her and my dad before they left.
“I don't feel like going out.”
“I'm not letting you stay at home and feeling sorry for yourself. I have an idea, we buy alcohol, snacks and meat to braai. We have our own mini party at our place?” Kele.
Kieran looked at Rendani for confirmation and she agreed. Alex left immediately after the competition. Khumo had a date.
“Okay, fine but when I start crying out of nowhere don't act surprised.”

We bought everything we would need and drove to the apartment.