Ecstasy ✶ James Potter

27 - I like you.

What Selene was about to do would be considered bold to some and just right to others, for the brunette it was perfectly in the middle

She didn't want to back down from what she had been thinking, so now she was going to be the big girl that she was and do the C word. (confrontation) Scary.

Apparently sixth year was the year of nostalgia because as Selene was walking to her next spot she was thinking about her past years at Hogwarts.

"I'm not ready!" cried a twelve year old Lily Evans, "What if they are secretly out to get us or something?" Selene smirked, "Yes, our fellow eleven year old roommates are serial killers."

"Well I don't know!" Lily said, "Hopefully they like me."

Selene smiled over at her red-head best friend, "They will love you, I am sure of it."

She took a breath and looked back over at Lily, "Now can we go in?" Selene asked, they were stood outside the door of their new dorm room. Lily hesitantly nodded.

They walked in to see a short blonde girl who was lounging lazily on the four poster bed closest to the door. The bed beside the blonde was occupied by a girl with short brown hair who smiled brightly at the two as they came in with their trunks floating behind them. "Hello!" The short-haired girl greeted, "I am Alice, Alice Fortescue!"

"This is Marlene," Alice gestured over to the girl who was still yet to acknowledge their existence. "I am Selene Ray." Selene responded smiling gently, "This is Lily."

"Marlene has already picked her bed, as you can see. I picked mine too but if you don't like the remaining two feel free to steal mine. I am really not picky! I just want to find friends who like me."

For the first time that day Lily spoke up to someone who wasn't the dumb boys on the train or Selene. "Oh no! That is quite alright, but thank you. And don't worry we already like you! Isn't that right, Selly?"

Selene nodded.

"So Marlene..." Selene smirked innocently.

"Lily-Flower!" James shrieked, "Oh, my Lily-Flower."

The twelve year old at just finished serenading the whole Great Hall with a love song written by himself.

Lily's face was bright cherry red, "Get down, you toe-rag!" she shrieked, "I don't like you!"

Selene who was sitting beside her had a sour look on her face, she was annoyed at the boy's antics. A certain feeling was bubbling up in her stomach. "What a loser." She scoffed.

"I know right?" Marlene laughed, "It's quite funny though, isn't it?"

"Yeah, funny." Selene responded dryly. She wasn't sure why she was feeling this way at the time. She didn't know that years later she would figure out that the feeling bubbling in her stomach was jealousy. But, the girl hadn't seen that the twelve year old's hazel eyes were drifting over to her.

Selene was sure about him, but was he sure about her?

That was the question she asked herself about a thousand times a day. Selene wanted love, she wanted a family, and a life to share with someone.

A part of her hated that the guy she had a thing with heart had belonged to someone for so long. Especially that person being her best friend. She went in blindly without question.

Never questioning if it was real for him like it was for her. You may think that she was being dramatic, that they had only shared a few moments. A few fragments in the history of life. No love speech, no dates. Nothing but a feeling. She went in deep because of the feeling James Potter gave her.

Nobody else made sense to her. She had always had a pit in her stomach when he would look at Lily with admiration or when he would openly display it. She always had thought it was because she didn't want to loose her best friend.

It was that she didn't want to loose him to her best friend.

Selene never understood that until recently.

And if in the end he didn't feel the same. Selene knew she would be okay after a while, at the end of the day the only person she would ever need was herself, and she knew that well. She would take back the part of her heart that James Potter held and place it back in the beautiful mosaic of broken pieces that was her heart.

So as Selene knocked on the door of the sixth year boy's dorm she took a deep breath and looked forward.

The door opened to reveal in all of his glory: James Potter.

"Selene?" He asked, bringing a hand up to his already untidy mess of curls just to mess them up once again.

"I will be quick," Selene started only to be interrupted. "Do you want to come in?" He asked looking down at her. "No." was all she said.

"I want someone who is sure about me like I am about them. I have no idea what we ever were, if anything — or if I was just a game —" Selene took a breath, her brown eyes meeting his softening hazel ones. "I want you to know that it isn't a game for me, not anymore. I cannot make you love me or feel for me if you don't, so all I am asking for is what do you want? Because I don't know anymore, I- I am so confused and I don't even know. It hurts to want you and not know if you want me in return. And this is all embarrassing for me to say but I owe it to myself to be honest. But I like you, I do."

"Selene, I-" James started reaching out for her, but she backed away, "No. Think about it and be sure before you answer."

And with one last final look at him, she turned away and never looked back.