The Parallels (Larry Stylinson+Niall Horan)

Chapter 39

Harry

I rushed to the bathroom and got inside one of the stalls just in time to spew all the contents of my stomach into the toilet seat. Everything was going perfectly but, I had to mess it all up. Louis’s warmth and the feeling of being safe around my friends got the best of me and I started thinking about what it felt like to be vulnerable and open for abuse. My thought spiral let me to reliving all the trauma and eventually, I started coughing and choking on my food. As soon as Zayn handed me the water, I felt a churning in my stomach and ran towards the loo.

Louis, Niall and Zayn rushed in after me and Zayn quickly bent down beside me, moving his hand up and down my back and coaxing me through it. Louis and Niall were saying things as well but, I could not make out any of their words. Once I was done throwing up, terror seeped into me and I jolted away from all the three boys. I pressed against the wall opposite to the door and my eyes widened with fear. Zayn stepped ahead but, as soon as I flinched, he took his step back and stood in his previous spot, maintaining a safe distance between the two of us.

“H, listen to me. Calm down please. You need to even your breathing out.” he said with his hands in the air as if he was surrendering. I realised that I was not breathing properly and struggling for air. That made me panic even more and tears formed up in my eyes.

“Baby, don’t be scared. We’re here and you are okay. Nobody’s going to hurt you, love.” Louis said. His voice was laced with concern but, I could also make out love and care in it. I felt a warmth in my body and before I knew what I was doing, I lunged forward and fell into his arms. He held me up easily and wrapped his arms tightly around me and I felt a wave of safety hit me.

I let a few tears slip by as I melted into the loving embrace. I let him do whatever it was that he thought would help me. He held me there and I buried my face in his neck. I could feel the wetness of my tears on his neck as well as my cheeks. He rubbed his hand up and down my back. He was whispering sweet nothings in my ear and trying to coax me through it. My ears were buzzing and it was hard to focus on his voice. Eventually, my sobs reduced into sniffles and I pulled back. I looked at the boys with my eyes full of shame. I hung my head down, unable to feel worthy of their concerned expressions.

“H, what happened?” Zayn asked. His tone was worried and upset.

“N-nothing. I’m really sorry about all this.” I answered with hesitation.

“Don’t be sorry, Harry but, tell us please. We want to know and we want to help you, yeah?” Niall spoke up. I knew I had to lie. As much as I wanted to give in and tell them, wanted to seek their comfort, I could not because I had to start dealing on my own. I had to be strong enough to manage my own issues. I could not be a charity case for them, any more and above all, I could not let them worry about me all the time. So, I built up the only lie that I thought they might believe.

“I’m sick. This isn’t the first time I’ve thrown up today. I did it in the morning, too.” I said, adding the morning part to make it more believable.

“Oh, Haz. You should have told us, babes. We would have postponed coming to the cafe. You always come first.” Zayn said, his expression softening and a caring look seeping into his eyes. He definitely knew that that was not the truth but, he did not push me further.

“It wasn’t necessary. We should get out now.” I said, smiling weakly and walking in the direction of the door. I was gently blocked by the two boys.

“If anything is wrong ever again you tell us, okay?” Zayn asked. I could notice that he was serious so, I nodded. He smiled reassuringly and scooped me up in his arms. He kissed my hair and pulled away. Not letting go completely. He let his arm still be around my shoulder as we walked away.