Quiet Not Innocent | ✔︎

Chapter 39:

A S P E N ♡ W I L S O N
»»————-　　————-««

I've been having this weird feeling building in the pit of my stomach. For the past few weeks, everything has been okay.

I've been happy. I talk to Mrs. Arian twice a week, I've been going out on multiple dates with Saint, we've finally finished collecting the data for our project, I'm passing all my classes, and I've been spending a lot of time with April.

And with all the happiness and calmness suddenly apparent in my life, I've been finding it easier to coexist with Levi and Melissa in the Beckett house. Maybe it's the fact that I don't see them much anymore. But either way, it's been steady.

And the weird feeling that's been bugging me is pointing to that fact. It feels weird for my life to be so calm and cheery like. I've been more and more aware of it these days and I feel like I'm just waiting for something horribly awful to happen. Which sucks.

"Can I ask you something?"

I blink out of my trance and focus my eyes on April, messing with the straw of her milkshake. We were upstairs in my bedroom, hanging out. We started doing that a lot recently. It's been nice.

Melissa and Levi were out at work, so we had the whole house to ourselves. We cleaned downstairs together and cooked together and after that, we've been lounging in our room with drinks, watching Lucifer together.

But the one thing that still bugs me is her situation with her blackmailer. I've decided to back off, at least, for a little while.

She was right. I was being impulsive and jumping into things I shouldn't have been recklessly. I was worried out of my mind, but I wanted to build a sense of trust between us at least so she could trust how bad I want to help her. Trust me.

"Sure. What is it?" I answer, focusing my entire attention on her.

"Why'd you..." she trails off, her eyebrows furrowing as she refuses to make eye contact. It's a while before she speaks up again. "I know...I know that what I did was wrong. Back then."

I feel my body stiffen. "Why are we talking about this?"

"We can't go forward with our relationship if everything isn't out in the open. And I'm sick of hoarding some of my questions and feelings to myself." She sighs. "Just please listen to me."

"Okay." I sigh as well.

"As I was saying, I was wrong." She gulps. "I was wrong and I shouldn't have lied about being in on the plan and then backstabbing you. I know. But...but don't you think you were unfair to me?"

I blink. "What do you mean?"

"I was thirteen, Aspen." She bites down on her lip, a habit she has when she's nervous. "I was still a kid. A stupid, materialistic kid. I was wrong for my reason to leave being money. But I was still a teenager and I just wanted to fit in. And that wasn't all. Everything was okay and then suddenly, everything wasn't. Our family was breaking and everyone ignore me. You wanted me on your side. Dad wanted me on his side. Mom wanted me on her side. I was losing it, Aspen. I was given such a big weight to carry at that time and I hated it. I hated how no one asked me what I thought of the divorce. How I felt. Or who I wanted to live with." Her eyes tear up. "You made that plan without asking me once how I felt about it."