Venom // Natasha Romanoff

。69 。

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"Piss off."
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People bustled down the street, minding their own business as they did so. Some children cried in their prams, their parents sighing from the people looking over at them. An odd person causing an argument in a shop.

A hooded woman made her way through the street, head down low and hands stuffed into her pockets. No body really noticed her as she seemed to blend in wearing black ripped jeans and a hoodie, the dates of a concert and the band's songs on the back as well as some sunglasses she was also carrying a bag of washing.

The woman stopped at a corner shop, pushing open the door. The sign in the front window flickered saying O E N, the P apparently no longer working. The man at the cash register didn't really acknowledge the woman's presence as she went to the back of the shop towards the sweet section.

"Do not forget my Galaxy." Venom growled in her mind and Nova rolled her eyes, sighing.

"Did you get up in the middle of the night and raid the stash again?" Nova asked through their shared mind.

"Yes. What about it?" Venom hissed and Nova shook her head, grabbing some frozen potato smiley faces.

"Stupid fuckin' parasite." Nova mumbled to herself.

"PARASITE!! I AM NOT A PARASITE!!" Venom yelled causing Nova to wince slightly, the volume seeming to bounce off every side of her brain.

"I told you, parasite means something different in our world." Nova hummed through their mind.

"I found a dictionary, pussy." Venom growled and Nova snorted.

"Are you okay, ma'am?" The cashier asked and Nova stiffened a little.

"Fine thanks." She replied, clearing her throat.

"Hm." The cashier grumbled, going back to him magazine.

Sneakily, Nova shoved some smaller items of food in her hoodie. Thank Thor for oversized clothing, she thought. After successfully stuffing multiple options up her hoodie and down her trousers, she made her way up to the cash register.

"Just these, please." Nova muttered, her head still down as she handed the potato smileys over the counter.

"That'll be $5." The cashier stated, blowing his bubblegum obnoxiously loud.

Nova put a $5 bill on the table which the cashier swiped immediately, putting it in the register. Nova grabbed the bag of potato smileys and left the shop, grabbing a plastic bag on her way out which the cashier didn't notice, nose now back in his magazine.

Nova emoted her hoodie and trousers into the bag down a jitty after making sure no one was around. Leaving the other side of the alleyway, she looked up and down the street before making her way towards the laundrette.

The tattooed woman crossed the street, ignoring the car that honked at her. Politely, she held her hand up in a silent thanks before continuing on her way to the laundrette. When she pushed open the doors, she noticed a man in a flowered cap and an old lady wearing sunglasses.

Silently, she went to the washing machine next to the man, putting in her clothes, some of which was her suit. She put in the money for it, leaning against it as it started to wash her clothes. The man next to her was scrubbing something out of a white hoodie. It looked like blood.

"Seltzer water and lemon for blood." Both Nova and the old woman spoke up.

"Or wear red." The old lady suggested.

"Thick as pig shit." Nova mused, checking the time left on the washing machine, impatiently while the old lady mumbled in agreement.

The scarred man looked like he'd just had the idea of a lifetime. Granted, it was given to him by another person. He glanced at Nova and did a double take noticing the tattoo on her neck as well as the ones written on her hands.

"You seem familiar." Wade hummed. "Are you a pornstar?"

"Me or her?" Nova questioned, pointing at Al who somehow knew she was referring to her and stuck up her middle finger.

"You but I don't know what she gets up to. Wrinkly vaginas aren't really my thing." Wade replied and Nova snorted in amusement. "Seriously, are you a prostitute or something?"

"Oh, very nice of you." Nova mumbled, banging on the washing machine when it slowed down.

"Take it easy. Don't turn green." Wade commented. "I'll have to sing you a lullaby."

"Please don't." Nova said flatly.

"Ooh, someone's touchy." Wade murmured as Nova's washing finished and she tugged open the door, her suit falling out first. "Well fuck me sideways."

"I like pussy." Nova joked, shoving the suit into a dryer next.

"Me too. But dick is also fabulous too." Wade continued, poking Nova's shoulder.

"Eh, not for me. Well, sometimes. I always thought they looked kinda weird." Nova shrugged, putting the rest of her clothes in the dryer.

"They do a bit. I suppose they look like milking mushrooms when the person with a dick cums." Wade said before he gasped. "Cum is like a dick having a sneeze!"

"Wha- it's bad I agree. Oh, it totally is!" Nova turned to him, glasses still on. "And knob cheese would be like a really gross boogie."

"Excuse me! Could you not!" A shrill voice shouted form behind them and they span to see a woman in her 50' s, glaring at them.

"Oh, I do apologise. Is my conversation interrupting your eavesdropping?" Nova pouted falsely. "Piss off."

"How dare you speak to me like that!?" The woman screeched, pointing a finger at Nova who raised an eyebrow, at least half a foot taller than the woman.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Nova started. "Piss off, please." She emphasised the last word, rolling her eyes as Wade grinned from beside her.

"I will report you-"

"Oh, do one, Katie Hopkins." Nova grunted, throwing a dirty sock at her and the woman left her washing machine, fuming.

"I think we should be best friends." Wade grinned like a child on Christmas.

And that's how Nova ended up living with the one and only Wade Fucking Wilson.

{1012}

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of what will be the most chaotic friendship in this book :)