Say You'll Stay

Grief & Unpleasant Surprises

"I'm so sorry for your loss" 

A nameless face says to Olivia who is standing in front of her after the burial. Everyone is nice, super sympathetic, but she could care less right now. She's sure they are sorry and wish her and the boys nothing but the best, but she sees the pity masking their eyes. Could be paranoia, but she hears their whispers to each other on why it was a closed casket when it was a heart attack. She feels their gazes as they watch her stand motionless over the gravesite, unable to place her rose there. If only they knew the truth. They weren't the ones who had to take the call from the funeral home explaining they couldn't cover the bruises or ligature marks. They didn't understand the way her heart clenched each time she was asked how he passed. The bitter lie she uttered. They're all praying for them, while she's praying, they'll leave her alone. Olivia shakes their hands and allows the hugs, but truthfully, she's empty. More people leave, but all she can focus on is the body lying in that casket.

"How could you do this?" She grasped the flower in her hand. 

"How could you think this was the answer?" The thorn pricked at her skin. 

"We had a life. We had a family" 

A tear falls. She looks around and sees Nina rush by her car and Olivia's mother standing by hers. Zayden and Jayden sit in their car with her daddy. He's been the only person they want to be around. Zayden still won't speak much, but Jayden won't stop. They're coping, barely. Everyone gives her some time alone as she bids farewell to her husband.

"You're really gone" She brushed her hand across the smooth wood casket, rubbing her fingers back and forth.

"I'm feeling so many things right now, but I guess this is goodbye". Her voice falters. 

"I guess this is where I leave you and the life we had together, in the ground" 

She catches her breath. She lifts the rose placing it down. The single rose stands part from the rest, which sat in an pile. 

"Goodbye, Jadyn" Tears fall, and her knees give out. Her hand rests against the wood as she sobs. Minutes pass, and her tears dry, but she still can't move. When she leaves this place, it'll be the end of them. He's been gone for a week, but this will really be it.

"You ready honey?" Her mama asked. She squats before taking her hand in hers.

"No," She says staring at the hole in the ground where her husband's body will rest.

"You're going to be okay Olivia" She leans back and reassures her. 

"I know it's hard, but you're an strong woman" She looks at her mother, begging with her eyes to give her an out with the pain. 

"Mom?" Her lips purse rubbing the side of her face. 

"I can't take this away from you, Lord knows how much I wish I could," Her eyes fill with moisture while her hand drops, gripping each of Olivia's.

"You're strong though. You always were the strongest of all of us. Not many have the guts to chase something they want. Look at what you did. Moving on, going to school, makin something of your life"

"Yeah look where that got me"

"Hey, now" Her mother's stern, but firm voice leaves no room for debate.

"You got them boys. A home, an business, and you've done well for yourself ever since. Things that you might now have if you'd stayed in Dallas. You couldn't wait to get out of Texas, and while it wasn't the way you planned, it led you to Jadyn. That man loved you all more than anything in the world. He didn't leave this world or you willingly"