Say You'll Stay

Real Talk

Alright ya'll, time for an moment of truth. I know a lot of y'all been wondering why I've been out for more than the two weeks I said I would be out and I normally don't go to this extent or let people in on what's going on with me on an personal level but I care about every single reader who even gives my books the time of day, so here's the thing: December marks three things for me, 1)my favorite holiday, 2)my birthday and 3) the anniversary of Zaivons death. He was my cousin, knew him since he came out the womb, we were not as close as I wanted but there was an connection there nevertheless, he was born with an heart condition that took his life at the age of 19 years old. His one year happened this month and it was a lot harder for me to come to terms with then I expected and if I'm being brutally honest, I am not at the place where I can say that I've fully accepted that he's gone. It all happened way too fast, one call was him in the hospital, the next was that he died and it really bothers me that I didn't get to see him before this. Not being able to let him know that I love him sits on my consciousness on an daily and though I don't show it, I definitely am struggling with that, it's an everyday battle to accept this and there's an big part of me that really doesn't want to. To add to that, I'm in an full blown internship counseling couples and individuals through their lives and having to face my own grief about him has not been an walk in the park, plus school. ITS A LOT YA'LL. My inspiration for these stories I've created hasn't been there and that's why I haven't posted in awhile, I can't count on my finger how many times this month I woke up in tears, burst into tears out of nowhere or both so long story short, I haven't been doing so great. Another layer to this is, I've been trying to detach myself from an verbally and emotionally abusive relationship from my past and completely removing myself from this person hasn't been easy but I'm still doing it, because I know it's the right thing to do. I wanna say this one last thing, I have battled in my head on several occasions about discontinuing my stories but I realized, these stories hold an bigger purpose, and it's one I can't ignore or am willing to give up and for that reason, I won't. I do have updates for y'all coming up but until I can do so I ask for your patience and understanding as I work through these things on my own. If you're an writer and you read my stuff, THANK YOU. If you're an reader and writer, THANK YOU. If you're an reader, writer and commenter, THANK YOU. I never expected the stories to have this much of an impact and I'm blown away by it everytime. I appreciate every single one of you, and updates will be coming so stick with me a little while longer ! I promise it'll be worth it! Thank you for attending my Ted talk, love y'all ♥️