She Falls for Her

Parted Paths

Weeks after nang pag-broadcast ng kasal namin ni Katie, kaliwa't kanan na ang tumatawag at nagcocongratulate sa amin. Through phone, e-mail, o sa through social networking sites.

Nakarating nga din ito sa mga magulang ko sa France. And, they are happy about it. Meaning, dumating na din ang balitang ito kay Paris. Malamang! May TV sila e.

Nagkamali ba ako sa ginawa ko? Did I lead her to the wrong way? I was just protecting lang naman yung relasyon nila Nick e. Pag di ko pipigilan itong nararamdaman ko, I know I could ruin everything from today up to my future.

"Hey my sexy man, penny for your thoughts?" nasa condo ko pala si Katie ngayon. Busy'ng busy ang sarili sa paghahalungkat at paghahanda ng mga invitation cards para sa kasal namin which will happen in 2 weeks time. Ang bilis noh? Yeah, gusto kong makalimutan si Paris. Katie would help me. Nakatitig sya ngayon sa akin at pagsamantalang tinigil ang ginagawa.

I smiled at her.

"Nothing, I was just excited about our wedding," I sighed inside. I wanted to love Katie. Gusto kong ibaling sa kanya ang pagmamahal kay Paris. I know, this would be unfair to her. There's no wrong with trying.

Inilapag niya ang mga hinahawakan niyang cards at lumapit sa akin. She sat on my lap, leaned over and kissed me on the lips.

"Me too. Tatawagin na nila akong Mrs. Crousers," she smiled sweetly.

That smile make me feel guilty. Haaaayyyyy, God knows what my intentions are.

"Sure," nang biglang tumunog ang phone ko.

"Excuse me, I will just take this call," at agad namang umalis sa kandungan ko si Katie. I kissed her on the lips, she smiled saka bumalik sa kanyang pwesto.

Agad naman akong tumungo sa labas. Isang unregistered number ang nakikita ko.

I pressed the answer key.

"Hello?"

"Feliz, I heard the good news. Congratulations, buddy," I recognized the voice. It's James. His voice was either happy and sad. Di ko alam.

"James..." I was thinking how would I ask how Paris is. I don't know.

"She's....she's happy for you,"

"She'll be marrying too in a week," malungkot kong saad.

"Yeah, I'll send you the invitations,"

"No, James. I still can't come,"

"Feliz, alam kong importante sayo si Paris at ganoon din si Paris sayo," he paused

"Dude, I can see the way you look at my sister. Full of love and respect. A kind of love which meant for more than friends, as so she is," kumawala ng isang buntung-hininga si James bago nagpatuloy. 

"I know we cannot talk about this over the phone pero di ko na kinakaya, dude.. Paris wasn't like before even with Nick's. Dude, sa tingin ko mahal ka na ni Paris, iniwan mo pa sya. I don't wanna see my little sister to be like this,"

"What? What happen?" Kinabahan ako. I creased my eyebrows.

"It's just a matter of phase, dude. Well, anyways congratulations, best wishes for Mr. and Mrs. Crousers," and he hang up,

What does that mean?

Kailangan ko siyang makausap.

I rushed into my unit. Finding Katie sleeping in the bed, ganoon na ba ako katagal sa labas. Nilapitan ko sya. Looked at her pretty face, hinaplos ko ang mga makikinis niyang pisngi and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I will be back," saka ako pumasok sa kwarto upang kumuha ng kumot para kay Katie.

Getting my keys, I went down directly sa parking area saka pinaaharurut ang sasakyan ko. Thoughts of Paris is bubbling me up, lalo na sa mga sinabi sa akin ni James. Ano bang ibig niyang sabihin?

Pinatakbo ko ang sasakyan na parang wala ng bukas. And there you go, pumarada ako sa harap ng gates ng mga Ruiz.

Bago ako pumasok. I inhaled. Take a deep breath, Feliz. It's time.

Kumatok muna ako sa pintuan.

And there it goes, ang bumukas ay ang dahilan kung bakit ako kumaripas papunta dito.

Her eyes widened, pero bumalik din ito sa straight face niya.

"Paris.."

"What do you want?" she snaps.

Wow. Well, I deserve this after all. I left her hanging.

"P-paris, I just wanted to talk to you,"

Sa mukha niya, parang mayroon siyang internal struggle. She dropped her shoulders in submission, leaned over the door frame saka nag-cross arms.

"Talk." nagtataray na. I know, she hates me ofcourse.

"I wanna apologize for leaving you half open. I  just don't want to ruin your life. I admitted that I fell in love with you and that's true. I do, but I just cannot," I am holding back  my tears. Gosh cmon, I cannot cry.

"Alam mo, ikaw ang nag-lead on e, pinakita mo sa akin na mahal mo ako, narinig ko pa nga e. Hanggang sa nahulog na yung loob ko sayo. Kinalimutan ko na nga na may pakakasalan pa pala ako dahil sayo. In short span of time, Feliz I learned to love you. Even stronger with Nick's. Pero anong ginawa mo? Iniwan mo ako sa ere tas malaman-laman ko lang na magpapakasal ka na sa iba? Tas ngayon, hihingi ka ng sorry? Sa tingin mo ganoon yun kadali? That's a bullshit, Feliz. Understand? Bullshit!" Now, I saw tears escaping in her eyes.

No. I cannot see this. She is crying because of me. Ayoko. Eto pala yung sinasabi ni James na ayaw niya makitang si Paris na ganito. How long she's been like this? Oh gosh, I wanna stab myself to death.

Without thinking, humakbang ako papalapit sa kanya upang yakapin sya pero pinigilan niya ko.

"Don't!"

"Ano pang ginagawa mo rito? I am getting married, and besides, you too. You don't want to ruined my life right? Then leave! Selfish cunt! Leave!" as she slammed the door in my face.

That was the time I let my tears escape in my tears. Nasaktan ko ang babaeng pinakamamahal ko. Sinayang ko ang aking pagkakataon. She have loved me. It hurts, yes, I am selfish. A selfish cunt.

Kahit di ko kayang ihakbang ang mga sariling kong paa ay kinaya ko. I weakly went in to my car. Ang sakit-sakit. Ang bigat-bigat sa dibdib.

Nang biglang tumunog ang phone ko.

Agad kong pinunasan ang mga luha ko.

"Hello, honey? Nasaan ka?" Katie on the other line.

"Uhmm. I am going to Rod's. I will be back,"

"Bakit di mo ako ginising? Ang daya mo naman," I know, she's pouting now.

"Next time, I will see you,"

"I love you,"

Natigilan ako. Am I going to respond? Ni ang gusto ko lang sabihan ng mga salitang yan ay si Paris. I sighed.

"Feliz?"

"Yeah yeah. See you in a bit," I hung up.

I threw my phone sa katabi ko na seat saka inuuntog-untog ang ulo sa manibela. I was too consumed by my feelings. I am using the wrong way, using other's people for my own gain. I am sorry, Katie. Farewell, Paris.