like never before | beomkai

02 | stalking

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It was nighttime when Taehyun barged in Kai's room unannounced. He wasn't wearing his typical hoodie but settled with a plain white shirt and some pants for today. Kai concluded that he's here for something, maybe an article of clothing, and he didn't even spare his best friend a glance when Taehyun took one of his caps from his closet.

"How do you plan spending your last few months before college?"

Kai shrugs. "I want to sleep."

"Stop being a loser, Kai. Don't act like you're not writing in your journal right now," Taehyun whined. It made Kai instinctively shove the notebook on his desk to his drawer, and pretend it doesn't exist afterwards.

"What's wrong with having a journal.."

"Nothing's wrong with journals, but no offense, what are you even writing in that when you're always stuck at home?"

"My thoughts?"

Taehyun cocks his head to the side, slowly approaching his best friend with narrow eyes. "Since when are thoughts important when you sleep all day?"

"I do not sleep all day," Kai puffs his cheeks in frustration, but he does get where Taehyun was coming from. It's been a week since their graduation and he's done nothing other than stay indoors and play with his siblings from time to time. Taehyun, on the other hand, has been productive. He started going to the gym recently and has been out going there daily. Yeonjun would accompany him every other day and Kai would sometimes just wake up with Yeonjun in his living room after Taehyun welcomed him on his own.

Of course, Kai never had the heart to kick them both out. Even in times Taehyun would pick the lock in his bathroom while he's showering and throw snow at him during winter, Kai always had Taehyun consider his family home Taehyun's, too. He would greet Yeonjun once and go his merry way to eat the breakfast his father, hopefully, had leftover then run back to his room like the teenager he is.

"I'm going to drink with the guys. You're more than welcome to join us," Taehyun said. He didn't need to specify who the guys were when Kai knew exactly who they were. "Just letting you know that they were kind of upset when you didn't show up for the BBQ last time."

"You can't guilt-trip me into going."

"I can always try."

Kai shook his head. His fingers unconsciously started playing with the hem of his shirt, a habit he discovered when he's waiting in line to order in a restaurant on his own. It calms him, but most of all, it reminds him that everything is under control.

This is under control. He doesn't have to worry about seeing the others anytime soon unless it's Yeonjun who only gives him a smile when their eyes meet after his workout routine with Taehyun.

"You need to stop running away from people who wants to be your friend, Hyuka. They care about you."

"Beomgyu hyung hates me."

"He does not," Taehyun frowned. Kai only smiled sheepishly thinking that Taehyun is very oblivious but it's not his fault. "Even if he did, Soobin hyung and Yeonjun hyung don't deserve to be avoided like this."

Kai sighed. "I promise I'll join you guys next time."

Next time will have to wait because he was sure it left his mind when Taehyun happily skipped out his room for the night.

He replaced Taehyun in the bed and grabbed his phone from his night stand. He didn't know the last time he opened his social media apps but floods of notifications popped up when he allowed them. There were familiar names and faces when he skimmed through all of them, and he clicked at what intrigued him the most.

Okay. Maybe next time won't have to wait so long. Not when he's curious about how Soobin, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu are doing. What they were up to before and after graduation is a mystery that may be easily answered through a very powerful technique called online stalking.

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Soobin's profile has pictures of his baking and those cookies Kai used to have, but it's mostly full of his selcas. "He has a pet hedgehog and he's working in a cafe?" Kai murmured. Soobin always looked like the type to do so anyway.

Yeonjun's profile on the other hand was full of perfectly taken shots that reminds Kai why Yeonjun is cool. His legs were long and they always looked good in mirror selcas, showing off his clothes. Kai was in awe, and he was sure he's not the only one. The followers count is insanely huge compared to the following count, and he really knows why.

It felt strange scrolling through their accounts. Just why is it so hard for him to just talk to them in person? If avoiding them was easy then, why is it difficult to stop now?

Beomgyu was the last person he clicked to check. His profile was by far the most intriguing. It's full of scenery shots with very little pictures of his own—not that Kai was looking. He scrolled a little further until a few years ago with pictures of cute shoes pressed together, probably Yeonjun's and his upon seeing how they weren't one of Soobin's canvas shoes or Taehyun's sneakers; and pictures of a green parrot in a garden with the sun kissing the leaves, it was beautiful. Kai then scrolled further until he saw a blurred selca that's probably taken by accident.

"How narcissistic," He scoffed, body slightly jerking forward and pressed the like button without knowing. The weight of that only dawned on him minutes later when his phone dinged after being silent for a while.

choi.beomgyu sent you a message.

Kai almost choked.

choi.beomgyu: glad you liked my selca from 4 years ago

Kai swore to never use his social media accounts again.