like never before | beomkai

16 | take a hint

_______________

Kai always liked throwing all of his cards on the table for everyone to see, but then he'll have that one ace snuck in the sleeves of his coat without anyone noticing. Taehyun would call him out for cheating, even threatening to cut his hand once. However, it's something Kai couldn't stop doing.

He can't stop keeping cards.

When he and Beomgyu shared their first kiss years ago, he never said a word to anyone. When he confessed his feelings and he got a confession back, he chose to keep it a secret. When he got hurt and cried for several nights from a broken heart, he did it silently.

"You can tell me anything," Taehyun told him. It's a hand waiting for Kai to be taken.

But why is it so hard for him to do that?

Now, Beomgyu sat on the driver's seat of the new car he got from his parents, eyes focusing on the road as Kai didn't know where to look. Feelings are not what Kai likes addressing the most. "I'm over it", "It's not like that anymore", "I changed"—they repeat in Kai's head, but he knows they're uncertain.

It was a horrible realization, that he was not in control. This was beyond his schedules, his plans, and his unhealthy ways to cope with anxiety. Maybe Taehyun was right; unplanned things are meant to happen.

One moment, he was waiting for Soobin in the field; the next, he was with the boy he wasn't talking to for a few days now. How fantastic.

"Do you have anyone who can take care of you at home?" Beomgyu barely averted his eyes from the road when he broke the silence.

"I can take care of myself," Kai retorted, but immediately felt small when Beomgyu hummed to pretend like he didn't hear. "Nobody's home right now," He answered properly.

"Will you be fine?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm not a child, hyung. The nurse didn't even say it was bad enough for me to go home."

In an unexpected moment, Beomgyu chuckled. "You literally passed out as soon as we got to the clinic."

It was the embarrassing truth. Kai couldn't even call Soobin to let him know what happened, and instead asked Beomgyu to do it for him. ("Kai asked me to tell you that he was almost murdered in the field with a basketball, so he's not in good shape to meet you." "Oh, you're together?" "That's not important.")

Kai sighed, knowing how he lost that one. "Fine, but I still have one class today."

"What time is it?"

"In two hours."

"I'll drive you there."

The idea alone of being in the car with Beomgyu again made Kai's cheeks warm. "You don't have to. I can just take the bus."

"Don't say no, please. I already gave you the privilege to be the first person I allowed in my car. No take backs."

The information that surfaced left Kai surprised. "You.. I'm the first person who.."

"Yup!"

"Not even Yeonjun hyung?"

"That oldie has his own car."

"Soobin hyung?"

"Nope."

"Tyunnie?"

Beomgyu took a playful sip of air. "That's a very cute nickname for a scary boy, don't you think?" He chuckled. "But no. Just you."

"Oh," Kai uttered. Not even your girlfriend? Kai wanted to add, but he just cleared his throat and said something else. "I think you drive well."