like never before | beomkai

33 | happy birthday

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When Monday came, Kai greeted his morning with Yeonjun inviting him for breakfast. Despite countless reassurances that he was fine, Yeonjun only pushed his hand out and began counting—somehow, it was enough to make Kai scramble to Yeonjun's car.

"I don't have morning classes today," Kai said when Yeonjun began driving.

"We're getting breakfast, Kai, not going to class."

Kai pouts. "I know, hyung. I'm just saying."

The drive was anything but eventful. It's quiet, unusual, and calm—Kai doesn't have the energy to hold a conversation and Yeonjun knows this. Perhaps it were the tired eyes that gave away; the remnants of Kai's resort to studying until dawn to keep Beomgyu off his mind.

Breakfast came with the sun rays hitting their skin. It's a bit more painful than usual or it's just Kai's body telling him that he needs more vitamin D—he sees Yeonjun's eyes disappear from the brightness until they walk inside a shop for shade and a meal.

"Did you hear from Beomgyu?" Yeonjun asked.

Kai wasn't exactly sure. "He replied. He said he was safe," He immediately noticed the way Yeonjun's shoulders relaxed. "Hyung."

"Hm?" Yeonjun looks up from his mean, brows expecting.

"Do you know where he usually goes when this happens?"

Kai regrets never asking this before.

"Just two," Yeonjun picks up a spoonful of rice. "Driving around Seoul or-" He takes an egg-roll and places it on top of the rice. "-going to Daegu."

"That's not exactly specific," Not easy to find.

"Well, Beomgyu never actually told me. I just heard from my therapist," Yeonjun munched on the meal. "We have the same therapist, remember?"

Kai narrows his eyes for a suspecting look. "Is that even allowed?"

"No, but everything I do is between me and God," He paused. "And now you, too."

Kai falters, "Beomgyu hyung could never trust me like that."

Yeonjun clicks his tongue. "He does, Hueningie. There's just so much to it than just trust," He sighed. "Beomgyu is a locked door. I don't know if he told you this, but his parents were always busy and were distant when he was growing up—so being taken care of is just.. new to him."

His parents. Kai had only seen Beomgyu's mother once, and that was years ago.

"He's a people pleaser. He likes to give and give and give. He never learns how to take," Yeonjun offered Kai an egg-roll. "I think it's about time you teach him that."

Giving and taking was a natural flow. Kai never considered the dynamic to be a problem when Beomgyu always seemed care-free. However, retracing his steps lead him to several common threads of Beomgyu's selflessness.

It's contrary to Kai's nature of taking everything that's given. He wonders how well they would work if they decide to do something about their contradicting aspects. It's going to be a thought that will plague his mind.

"I'm asking so many questions," Kai frowned, getting self-conscious.

Yeonjun was quick to wipe the frown away. "Nonsense! You can ask me anything."

"Oh," Kai pressed his lips in a thin line. He doesn't want to bombard Yeonjun with repetitive inquiries. Instead, he blurts out something that's been waiting at the tip of his tongue. "How are you?"