like never before | beomkai

24 | long overdue

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"I always thought you were great in cafe jobs."

"I don't."

Kai was suddenly out of words. It's as if he was not even expecting this to happen, but now it is—here, in a corner that people overlook in the booth, he sits in front of Beomgyu who's nervously drinking what Kai was familiar with.

The air was thick despite the busy environment. To be frank, this was not how Kai envisioned his first meeting after a long time with Beomgyu would turn out to be. Maybe not in his pastel shirt that Soobin designed for the club, maybe not with Rin signaling him to talk and get it over with. Still, there are things that he can't plan in life no matter how hard he color codes his planner every monday or sunday.

"You weren't answering my calls and messages," Kai finally began. "But I should apologize for doing the same the first time."

Beomgyu gulps his caffeine for... the day or two. "My phone broke and I got a new one."

Well, that's something Kai didn't know. "Oh, Taehyun didn't tell me."

"I haven't been texting people so much these days. Taehyun doesn't know."

What does that supposed to mean?

"Listen, Kai," Beomgyu decides not to stall any longer. "I'm sorry for what I did at the party. You were uncomfortable and I left you alone as soon as we arrived. I shouldn't have done that."

"Yeah, you were wrong."

"I'm sorry. I totally understand why you didn't want to see me right after—would've done the same if I were you."

Kai forgives—of course, he would. A part of him knew that he already did even before this moment, but he just waited for the apology he deserves. That night, Kai was reminded why he despises attending parties and why it triggers him so much, and why he so desperately wants to get over it.

Beomgyu plays with the cup in his hand and his knees slightly brush against Kai's under the table. The younger one waits and waits... there should be something more. Why isn't Beomgyu speaking anymore?

"Did you hear what I told you before I left?" Kai lost his patience. "Or are you pretending that you didn't."

"Kai, I just... of course, I heard. I have always known."

Kai understands. He was easy to read, contrary to Beomgyu and his obscure motives. One second, he gives Kai hope; the next, he destroys every idea Kai builds. Kai carries his heart in his sleeve. He surges without hesitating, even if it seems like he was pulling away.

Kai will always be there, he stays. And all he wants is for Beomgyu to do the same.

"I don't understand. If you knew then why didn't you say anything?" He asked, Beomgyu was nailed to his seat.

"What was there to say? High school's a blur. I lost you and now you're back, and I don't want to lose you again," Beomgyu paused. "You're important to me, Kai. I don't want you stepping back again because of a confession we made while we're drunk."

"Hyung, the confession didn't make me leave. What made me leave was how you started pretending like it never happened. You rejected me, basically... but things would have been different if you actually kept your promise and talked to me about it the next day."

"You just keep-" Kai continued. "-running away from me. You did when we were in high school, and you did that night of the party. If you don't want me, just tell me, hyung. Then, I don't have to spend all my waking days thinking of what could be."