cw // lots of cursing
Journal,
It's snowing outside, and I always wanted to sleep through the cold---hibernate as bears do. Not go to university and not face people even if I have to.
I won't have anybody to impress, don't have a reputation to uphold, no responsibilities to fulfill... just sleep.
You know, I used to bite Soobin's arm whenever he called me dumb, but I think he had a point.
Because how the fuck am I supposed to write things down when I can't even understand what I am feeling or thinking?! It's like spinning a globe and choosing a country with your eyes closed---it's essentially a blind date, but you open to see your date for the night is Japan in an American Restaurant.
Well, sometimes I would lay in bed and look at my ceiling for hours and hours. My mom would walk in, ask how I'm doing, and at that moment I would feel thankful to sleep in a comfortable bed under a nice looking house with my parrot, Toto, flying around the living room.
I really don't have anything to be ungrateful for, but I feel like I don't have anything at all.
It's like being stuck in a moving world and I see everybody dancing to BTS while I'm dancing to Michael Jackson. I feel so left behind, so out of date (no offense to the legend, Michael Jackson), and I feel like I should constantly catch up... and I never would.
Where I'm glued, I feel a heavy weight hindering me from moving forward, and soon it becomes water that'll drown me and fill everything with darkness. It's empty there. There's no sound, no light. It's like an ending that won't begin.
And what doesn't start, doesn't end.
YOU ARE READING
like never before | beomkai
FanfictionLIKE NEVER BEFORE © prodtaejun 2021 EXCERPT: Kai doesn't get it---that's what he tries to make himself believe. He knows Beomgyu, he does, but the more he thinks about it... he wonders if he knows Beomgyu at all. SYNOPSIS: Unknowingly, Kai sets an o...
