like never before | beomkai

18 | push pull

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tyun: you sure you don't want to come to the cafe? we're having donuts.

Kai read Taehyun's message with a picture attached showing all of them eating sweets. Of course, it just had to be the day Kai is gone when their table is going to be filled with so much. He replied with an "i'm sure" and a picture of him dramatically swimming his head in books.

The library is Kai's best escape route: the cubicles are booked prior to entering and food is not allowed. Unless Kai visits the break room, he's promised of alone time in the library—and that's what he needs the most right now.

Midterms are approaching, and more and more requirements continue to pile up. He has a lot to memorize tonight and more tomorrow. He can't afford any distractions.

choi.beomgyu sent you a message

The devil comes at the right time, doesn't he?

choi.beomgyu: taehyun told me you like egg tarts. i'm eating one right now.

Beomgyu made the effort to send a picture of him eating egg tarts, and Kai couldn't help but laugh. (Quietly. He's still in the library after all.)

hueningkai: cute

Kai typed, but he didn't have the courage to send it. Instead, he clicked the backspace button and left the older one on read. He'll understand.

But not even a minute later another notification popped up.

choi.beomgyu: you're cuter ;)

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As Kai wrote in his journal, he starts playing the game. It started when he walked out the library to see Beomgyu in the break room with his friend, someone Kai didn't know.

The plan was simple: push and pull.

If Kai was great at doing something without any effort, it's being pure. Yeonjun said he was the only pure thing in this polluted world, and maybe he's right. But one thing he forgot to mention was Kai's ability to act clueless. It was his greatest move. Do something, imply something, then mask it all with naivety. It's so easy to sweep others off their feet.

So, he pulled. He looked at Beomgyu in the eye before shooting him a smile. Then, he walked out of the place without noticing the other's effort to approach him. He enjoyed the taste of success in Beomgyu's pout. What else did he want? He was acknowledged. That's it.

"Kai!" Beomgyu called as he chased. He managed to catch up to Kai when they got out on the almost empty sidewalk. "You don't just give me a bro smile then leave."

"A bro smile..?" Kai asked, genuinely bewildered with how Beomgyu named his friendly greeting. "You were busy."

"But still. You should have asked me why I'm here."

"Okay. Then, why?"

"That was a bad suggestion because I honestly don't know either. Taehyun made me bring these, though," Beomgyu lifted up a yellow paper bag with egg tarts. Kai made a mental note to thank Taehyun later, maybe if his best friend randomly comes at night again.

Kai took the bag. "Both of you kept making me jealous about the food."

"Auntie was so generous. She kept feeding us and kept ordering Soobin hyung to make us drinks. It's fun."

"I missed out," Kai sighed. Curse college and the papers his teachers assigned. He refused to frown when Beomgyu's looking at him with anticipation. Kai wasn't sure what for, though.

In the middle of their silence, Kai leaned in. The familiar movement sent Beomgyu in a panic, his breathing hitched, and he physically shivered when Kai's fingertips gazed on the red skin of his cheek. This was happening out of nowhere, what a change in roles!

Despite the raging chilly wind, Beomgyu felt warm from the proximity. He closed his eyes only for Kai to move away as quickly as he moved in. The loss of contact triggered a soft whine out of Beomgyu's throat, and Kai pretends he doesn't notice a thing with the same smile he has when he's drinking his grape juice.

"Sorry about that. You had something in your cheek, but it's gone now," Kai chuckled. "Since you're here, you should drive me home, hyung."

Beomgyu was still frozen. "Huh?"

"Drive me home. You drove here, right?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go."

"Yeah."

"Hyung?"

"Yeah."

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The plan continues.

"I've seen you order that drink more than I've seen Taehyun take my things with permission, but I don't know what it tastes like," Kai mused. "Can I?"

Beomgyu blinked. They were at the cafe table, just the two of them. The other three were at the counter to make their own orders. "What?"

Kai took the Iced Americano from Beomgyu's side of the table and quickly took a sip. "It's boring," He concluded before returning it. However, he hesitated when he saw the shock on Beomgyu's face. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did that bother you? I can get you another one if-"

"No, it's fine. You just took a sip, no biggie," Beomgyu took the drink from Kai's hold, and Kai had to pretend like Beomgyu's eyes didn't linger longer than usual on him when he looked away.

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On the third day, Kai pushed.

Beomgyu was always fond of playing with other people's fingers with his own, but with Kai, he was always careful. Kai appreciates that on behalf of his heart, but Beomgyu never holds back when it's just the two of them with his words.

It was hard to explain, but Beomgyu somehow managed to sit beside Kai's cubicle in the library. Examinations were in two days, and Kai thought it was better for him to have his full focus studying outside the cafe. That's obviously a fail because he keeps glancing at Beomgyu who's leaning back on his chair to go past the divider.

"Hi," Beomgyu greeted with a dumb smile. "How do you stay here for hours when it's too bland?"

"You're supposed to be reading in the library."

"But I'm done reading."

Kai's eyes rose to that. "Then, pack up and go home. You should rest, hyung."

"Nah. I wanna hangout."

"Stop by the cafe then. Tyun told me they're still there."

"I wanna hangout with you, dummy," Beomgyu frowned.

Kai pretends like it didn't rush straight to his heart. Beomgyu was cute like this, just unfiltered and different. The image he had in Kai's head before is gone. No more cold stares and cold replies; just whining, pouting, and laughing.

"I'm reading," Kai softly cleared his throat.

"Go read. I'll be here," Beomgyu waved his hand like he's saying hello, and slowly went back to his cubicle. He was now behind the divider that reached their shoulders.

Kai ignores it when Beomgyu starts playing with his hand and fingers, drawing shapes and writing incoherent letters. He did this for minutes to ease his boredom, and Kai snuffled a laugh when he tried to take it back.

Push and pull, Kai thought. He gently took Beomgyu's hand in his and slotted his fingers in the spaces between the other's own. Maybe this can keep Beomgyu occupied.

Kai didn't act like he noticed the way Beomgyu tightened his hold when Kai tried to loosen his grip. There was no escape.