Thutos Numeros: UNO Zyx Scrievher

Treinta ✔

It's been days since that night happened, we can now talk without shouting in front of others. We look okay after that small talk, but I can't still stop myself from doubting. Is it enough? Seeing him without anger in his eyes. Does it all enough?

"Are you two okay now?" I heard the soft voice of my mother from my back, I diverted my gaze to her from the peace ocean in front of me. She walks and seat beside me, ape my position and also watch the peaceful ocean and feel the refreshing breeze.

"We talk." Simple kong sabi, bume bwelo at iniaayos pa sa isip ang mga tamang salitang dapat kong sabihin sa kanya.

"It feels good after what happened. At some point it calm my anger and made me think again about things. I remember everything again and realizes that it still hurts Mom." Biglang umangat ang masakit na mainit na pakiramdam sa mukha ko papunta sa mga mata kong nag babadya ng luha. I felt like there's a hand squeezing my heart like what it used to feel not so long time ago. There's this something again that stock in my throat prevents me from uttering a word.

"I'm a woman too, Niña. I know what it feels, I know how it hurts and as your mother it angers me every time, I think that you are getting hurt this much." She faces me with her teary eyes. I bit my lower lip and avoid my gaze to her when I saw it.

"Does your grandmother also told you that when your t-tired you can rest?" Hindi ko mapigilang higitan ang hininga ko para pigilan ang sarili sa pag iyak ng marinig ko ang pagka basag ng tinig nya.

"Hindi masama ang mag pahinga anak, hindi masama ang mag pagaling mula sa sugat ng masasakit na nakaraan para sa ikabubuti ng lahat, lalo sa ika bubuti mo. I am aware about everything that you've been through Niña. You are so brave that even me, I am asking myself if I could do what you did. All those pains, you are not the only one who's hurting, my heart is also getting broken because of you."

Hindi ko maipigilan ang impit na pag hagulgol sa bawat salitang binibigkas nya. Tila punyal iyon na sa bawat bigkas ng salita ay tumutusok at bumabaon sa dibdib ko. I felt her warm body coop mine, her arms are hugging me tight. Ngayon ko nalang ulit naramdaman ang pakiramdam na damhin ang init ng yakap ng isang ina. Hindi ko mapigilang ipikit ang mga mata at hayaang dumaloy ang masagang luha sa aking pisngi, kasabay nito ang iilang mga bagay na pumapasok sa isip ko.

Tulala akong naka upo sa dulo ng kama, nakatingin sa blangkong puting pader habang may tumatakbong hindi ko mawari sa isip ko. Napakurap ako ng marinig ko ang langitngit ng pag bukas ng pintuan ng aking silid. Felix is already sleeping deeply in the middle of midnight, when Zyx silently enter the room.

He stops when he saw me awake and looking at him sneaking again in my room. I am not dumb not to feel it, I knew he'd been doing that every night since he came here. I softly top my side, telling him to sit beside me. He didn't say any word and just walk to my side and seat, leaving an inch away from me.

Nakaka bingi ang katahimikan sa buong silid, ni kahit ang paghinga ko ay nagagawa ko ng pigilan upang hindi mag labas ng ingay. Napapitlag ako ng marahan syang gumalaw at tumagilid paharap sa akin kaya naman nilingon ko sya. Malamlam ang malungkot nyang mga mata. Napalunok ako dahil duon at muling nag iwas ng tingin.

"You can't forgive me, I know. I am not asking you to do it either because I know, I don't deserve it anymore. But I still want to be with you, I want it the way I used to want it since the beginning." nakagat ko ang pang ibaba kong labi ng maramdaman ang masakit na bara sa lalamunan. Nanginig ang kamay ko ng dahan dahan nya iyong kinuha mula sa ibabaw ng hita ko at ibinalot sa malalaki at maiinit nyang palad.

"Zyx." Paos ang tinig kong tawag ko sa kanya. Those dark orbs were looking at me with agony. He looks lost and hopeless. My heart is hurting because of it.