Sunflower

Chapter 11

Present Day

Lucy

I'm not usually a heavy drinker, but tonight, I'm going hard. Since I got back home, all I've done is throw back shot after shot of whisky.

Chris's whisky...

That he left here...

How am I supposed to stay in this apartment another night? With all the memories- good and bad? How can I watch any TV show, listen to any song, even open my stupid fridge without thinking of him?

I'm a coward. I'm pathetic. I'm letting him hurt because I'm afraid he'll hurt me, that he'll abandon me. But he never has before. Not once. We've had our disagreements, of course, but Chris has never hurt me. He's been faithful, caring, patient, compassionate...he's been everything most people want in a relationship and here I am, tossing him away like he's nothing.

I've got to get out of here. I'm gonna go crazy if I have to stay another second.

I grab my keys and my purse and head for the front door. As soon as I open it, I let out a yelp when I see Annie standing there with her hand raised, as if she was about to knock.

"Lucy...are you okay?" she asks, furrowing her brows.

"Yeah. What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," she says, walking past me and into my apartment.

I sigh and close the door. I know why she's here, but I'm in no state of mind for advice. Or anything that involves rational thinking.

"Lu, something else happened. Something you're not telling me. And as your best friend of seven years-"

"Twelve, but continue."

"I demand to know what's going on," she says, putting her hands on her hips.

"Nothing is going on other than what I told you."

"Bullshit."

"Annie, I swear! Nothing has happened other than the internship. That's it. That's all there is to the story," I tell her.

"So you're telling me, you're throwing away a five year relationship; one with the most perfect man alive, because you don't want to do long distance...."

I nod slowly. "Look, I know how selfish it sounds, but put yourself in my shoes. If Sam was moving to the other side of the world for two years, what would you do?"

"I'd dump his ass," she shrugs.

I'm a little surprised she gave so little thought to her answer, so it takes me a few seconds to respond. "O-kay...so...what's the problem with me doing the same thing?"

"Because while I love Sam with all that I am, he's...not worth it."

"What?"

She sighs and hangs her head. "Sam has cheated on me. He's lied to me. He's put his own happiness ahead of mine. A lot. All that's behind us now, but I know in my heart that if I were in your shoes, I couldn't deal with the stress of long distance when he's not worth it. But Chris is. You know he is."

My eyes began to fill with tears, but I'm determined not to let them spill. I take a deep breath, trying to compose myself.

"Why are you pushing him away?" she asks.

When I still can't bring myself to answer her, she growls in frustration. "I can't let you make the biggest mistake of your life, Lucy. If there's no other reason, nothing you're leaving out, and you're seriously just telling me that you're afraid of getting hurt in the long run...suck it up, buttercup! You won't find another Chris out there, trust me! You're gonna let him go and then spend the next five years comparing every guy you meet to him, but they'll never measure up. And do you know why? Because Chris is perfect! He doesn't cheat, or lie, or make you feel like you're not important. In fact, he treats you like you're the only thing that matters! How can you give that up?! How can you just walk away?!"