Sunflower

Chapter 14

Present Day

Chris

I don't think I've really allowed myself to get angry over Lucy's decision to break up with me. It's been a week now and I haven't heard a thing from her. It's by far the longest we've gone without speaking to each other. To be fair though, I haven't even tried. I want to go to her, beg her to tell me why she's doing this, after five years together...why now? I want to scream at her, shake some sense into her, tell her she's making a huge mistake. But I've said nothing. I've done nothing. It's almost as if I'm stuck between the shock this has made me feel and the inevitable acceptance at the end of this long road.

That's why I haven't allowed myself to become angry. I'm still in denial. I'm still waiting for her to change her mind. I'm waiting for her to realize her life is better with me in it.

She will. I know she will.

I stand up from the sofa, where I've been lazing around for days. My legs are wobbly from lack of use. I haven't shaved in a while, so I look like a Sasquatch nightmare. I haven't been eating enough, or sleeping enough, or bathing enough. Which is probably why my friends are keeping a distance from me. They call to check on me, of course, but I probably smell too bad for anything else.

I need to get my life together, but before I can do that, I need to get my mind together. My heart's a lost cause, but I still have control over everything else. And if I ever want to heal from this pain, I've got to stop wallowing in misery.

And to do that...I've got to let out some of this pent up aggression.

I put on a pair of black track pants and my old Nirvana hoodie and head out for the first time in three days. I jog a couple of blocks with no real destination in mind. The cool, fresh air, the sound of bustling New York City traffic in the morning and the shouts of angry cab drivers are all familiar starts to my mornings. Lucy and I used to run together every morning for years. We stopped about two years ago, but I'm starting to remember how much I liked it. It's a good way to start the day.

I finally make it to the Williamsburg Bridge, so I slow my pace. This is where Lucy and I ran to each morning after we first moved here. We'd take our time, walking hand in hand over the bridge, enjoying the sunrise over the East River.

I walk over the bridge until I've made it about midway. I stop and look out over the water and for a second, everything seems to slow down. I can sense Lucy, even though she's not here. I can feel her. It's almost as if I can hear her voice right next to me, like she never left my side.

2 years ago

New York City

"So how are you enjoying domesticated life so far?" I smirk at Lucy as we jog along through the city. "Doing all the cliche couple things we swore we'd never do."

She laughs, that really high-pitched cute laugh she does when something is unexpectedly funny to her. "Remember when we used to make fun of couple joggers at Penn State?"

"Of course I do. Remember Chase and Mary? They got up every morning at 5am and ran six miles together."

"And then spent half the day telling everyone about it," she says, rolling her eyes.

"Guys, Chase and I are entering couples baking classes," I say, mocking Mary's over the top mid-western accent.

"Guys, Chase and I tested positive for gonorrhea together," Lucy adds, making me laugh so hard I have to stop and pull myself together.

Lucy slows her pace and starts jogging backwards. "Come on, don't start gassing out on me now, Myers!"

"I can't help it. You're such a comedian," I smirk, jogging after her.