Sunflower

Chapter 23

Chris

I arrive in New York just after 9pm and it began pouring down rain the minute I stepped out of the airport. To make this weather even more intolerable, it's cold. Freezing. I was only in Australia for a few weeks, but I had gotten used to the warm weather. It's the middle of summer there and here in New York, it's the middle of a quite brutal winter. I wouldn't be surprised if this rain didn't change over to snow soon.

I take a cab over to Lucy's place, telling myself if I just go to her, right now, I won't have time to chicken out. I didn't come all this way for nothing. But the closer I get, the more I start to panic. What if she doesn't want to see me? What if she pushes me away again after I've came all this way?

I remind myself of why I'm here, why I dropped thousands on a plane ticket, why I've been awake for the past forty-eight hours. And when the taxi stops in front of Lucy's apartment building, I get out. I stand there, looking up to the third floor where her apartment is located. The living room light is still on, so maybe that means she awake.

I hurry up the stairs and finally, after all this time, I'm standing here again, about to knock on her door. I'm still nervous about this, so nervous I'm tempted to run. But I know I can't do that. She needs me, and that's more important than potentially getting my feelings hurt.

I knock on the door and after a few seconds, it opens. I'm surprised as hell to see Justin, one of our friends from college. Justin just stares at me, wondering if I'm ever gonna say anything since I'm just standing here like an idiot.

"If you're looking for Lucy, she's not here. She left a few hours ago and we haven't heard from her since. We've tried calling, but she's not answering. Hasn't responded to any of our texts either.  Annie is out looking for her now."

I nod, taking a step back and getting ready to go. I've got to find her. She always does this when something goes wrong in her life. She runs away to be alone and doesn't bother to tell anyone. I guess I can kind of understand that. She likes to process things alone. But she could at least tell me where she's going or when she's coming back just so I don't worry. I guess she doesn't give Annie that courtesy either.

"Thanks, man," I say, turning and hurrying away.

Lucy's go to spot is usually the Hillcrest Cemetery, where Tommy is buried. But it's pouring rain and freezing cold tonight. Surely she wouldn't be there.

When I make it outside, I suddenly remember I no longer have a car. I sold it before I moved to Australia, thinking I'd just buy another when I got back in two years. But since things didn't quite work out like I thought they would, I'm back in the city and car-less.

It'll be a nightmare hailing a cab in this weather, so I decide to run down to the bus stop at the end of the street. As I'm running along, the rain begins to change over to snow. Big, chunky snowflakes begin falling from the sky so quickly, I can't even see the bus stop any longer. I slow my pace, my breaths coming out in puffs of mist.

It's cold out here. There's no way Lucy would go to the cemetery. So where else could she be?

I take out my phone to call her, but I pause. If she's not answering for Annie, why would she answer for me? She doesn't want me to be there for her. If she did, she wouldn't have broken up with me.

Still, I have to try, don't I? I have to make sure she knows I'm looking for her at least.

So I press call and wait for it to go to voice mail.

"Hello?"

"Lucy? Oh my God, are you okay?" I ask, surprised that she answered.

"Yes. I'm fine."