Sunflower

Chapter 21

Present Day

Lucy

Being the third wheel is unfamiliar to me since I always had Chris around. But for the past couple of weeks, I've been tagging along with Justin in Annie. I've told them numerous times that I don't mind if they go out without me, but they refuse. I guess they're both feeling sorry for me. Things have been extra hard lately.

I started back to work, but I'm no longer feeling the same joy my work used to bring me. It hasn't been the same since Tommy died, but at least before, I had Chris to get me through the rough days. Now, it's Annie and Justin. And they aren't very good at it. Of course, I never expected them to be. Chris knew me so well. He cared so much. He planned his whole life around me and while I don't expect someone else to do that, I have to admit, it felt kind of nice to be the center of someone's world.

With each passing day, I'm realizing more and more that Chris made my life so much better. I let my circumstances come between us when what I should've done is told him what happened the night of my accident. He would've understood. he would've helped me. He would've stood by me. But I was afraid.

I'm still afraid.

Because now, I'll have to face what I've done on my own, without Chris. He doesn't deserve to be tied up in it anyway.

We've been sitting in a bar that I can't even remember the name of for the past couple of hours. Justin and Annie just drink and carry on, while I sit here and pretend to have fun, like I always do. I look up at the TV behind the bar and notice a Patriots game is on.

My dad hated the Patriots. He was a lifelong Jets fan, so naturally, I liked the Jets too. Until I got older and realized I was cheering for the worst team in the entire NFL. I switched over to the Eagles when I went to college and haven't gone back since. I haven't watched a single game in two years, but not because I don't like football. I love football. I just don't love the memories it stirs up for me.

Some of the only decent memories I have of my father is watching the Jets play on Sunday. I'll never forget the day I showed up to his Super Bowl party wearing an Eagles jersey. He was so mad at me. The Jets weren't even playing in the Super Bowl, but the Eagles were, so I didn't know what the big deal was. Chris is originally from Pennsylvania, and he had always been an Eagles fan. I guess that's ultimately what made me a fan too.

4 years ago

Staten Island, New York

"Okay, we're only going to make an appearance here and then we can drive into the city and watch the game with normal people," I say when Chris and I pull up to my parent's house.

My dad throws an annual Super Bowl party every year, no matter who is playing in the game. I've never understood why he cared unless the Jets were involved, and they haven't been in a very, very long time. It's mostly just his friends and guys from the firm her works for. Mom makes snacks and everyone sports their favorite team jerseys, whether or not their actually in the big game. Bets are made before the game and then comes the noise. Grown men in their forties and fifties screaming at a television well into the night and leaving a mess behind for my mother to clean up on her own.

"Maybe it won't be so bad. Your dad hates the Patriots, right? So naturally, he'll be cheering for the Eagles," Chris says as we walk to the front door.

It swings open before I even get my key near the lock and my frazzled mother is standing there, smiling like a lunatic. "Lucy! Chris! Thank God you're here!"

"Hi mom," I say, giving her a quick hug.

"Hi, Mrs. Sunday," Chris smiles. "Love the green dress! Does that mean you're cheering for the Eagles tonight too?"