Dark Lust

Jolie

I feel like I'm trapped in my own body. Male voices come in and out of hearing. My eyes don't move a muscle. All I see is darkness. I keep wanting to fall deeper and deeper into the unknown. I don't know how I got here. Someone is telling me to wake up. Is it me? I don't know how to wake up.

I jump deeper into darkness. I eventually see a light. As I walk through the light, I come out of my bedroom closet. Ciaran is laying with a girl in my bed. It's me. Holy shit, am I dead? Am I having a weird out of body experience? He mumbles in my hair, repeating that I need to wake up. He says that he can't live without me and I'm the only one he needs in his life. Did he just say the L word?

Okay, I'm fucking dead.

How the hell do I get out of here?

I dig through my closet again. The money Ciaran gave me is still in there. I throw clothes on the ground, trying to find the door I came from.

"Hey." Ciaran's voice booms behind me. I mean it's loud. It's as if someone put a speaker larger than my head beside my ear and shouted into a microphone that blares in the speaker. I turn around and he's standing there with his hands in his pockets. I look over and my body is gone off the bed.

"You need to wake up now."

I enclose my hands around my ears. The ground starts to shake. Ciaran looks as though nothing is happening. The ground starts to crack between my feet.

This is it. I'm going to Hell. I can see the flames waiting to swallow me up.

I look at Ciran for help. He keeps repeating for me to wake up. The ground opens up and my body drops leaving behind my screams.

My eyes burst open and I gasp. The feeling of my body doesn't come. Now am I dead? Oh my god! I'm paralyized! My hand moves upward. Okay, I'm not paralyzed.

"Thank fuck you're awake." Ciaran leans over me cupping my face. I lean into his soft hands. "Your shaking."

"Cold." It's all I manage to say.

He covers me up with two comforters and I melt underneath them. I have the urge to go back to sleep. My eyes flutter back open when Ciaran crawls underneath them with me. He pulls me close and snuggles his face in my neck.

"I was afraid something was wrong." He says.

My emotions are so fucked. I don't know how to feel about a guy caring for me like this. I want him to never let me go but at the same time, I want to push him away and tell him I'm not doing this shit. Why do I have to be born a girl with hormonal issues? I can take care of myself. Only, I don't want to take care of myself. At least, not all the time.

I'm unclear on what Ciaran and I are and what I want us to be. We haven't even texted each other or called. We can't title this shit. Even if we did title it, I don't do this relationship shit. Too much commitment and false promises. Either we break up and move on or this is it. This will be the person I spend the rest of my life with. Bearing his children. That's a joke. We all know I am not having kids. They would be so fucked.

"Jolie are you okay?" He asks.

"I think I'm still out of it." My voice is hoarse.

"You have been knocked out for the whole night."

"What?" I'm so weak I can't sound shocked.

"I haven't slept a wink. Every time I dozed off my mind went straight to you falling down the stairs."

"Fucking Joel." I muttered.

"He pushed you, didn't he?"

"I wish it was as simple as that. He came and said you gave me a drink. I drank it, went upstairs because he said Flora disappeared with some guy and next thing I know I;m stumbling around the hall and blacked out."

"He drugged you?"

"The way it looks, you drugged me."

"I didn't do shit! I may be an asshole who likes pussy, but I'm not a fucking pervert." Ciaran runs his hand through his hair. "That fucker. I'm going to kill him and I fucking mean it. I'm going to take the biggest gun my dad owns and shot Joel right in the temple."

"Can I watch?"

He smirks. "Only you would say something like that. Oh yeah," Ciaran walks to his dresser and pulls a box out of his clothes. He holds it out to me and says, "Happy Birthday."

"Why did you buy me something?"

"The correct response is 'Thank you, Ciaran. After I open this, give me birthday sex'."

I roll my eyes. "If you are trying to get on my good side, handouts are not the way."

"Trust me, once you open it, you will be on my dick so fast, calling me daddy-"

"Okay, if I open it, will you shut the fuck up?"

I take the stupid ribbon off and throw it at Ciaran's face. When I lift the top, my heart skips so many beats, I may pass out again.

"Holy shit." I breathe.

I take the item out of the box and let it drop to the floor. In my hand, I hold a brand new pocket knife. The handle is swirls of white and red. My signature bloody rose is designed on one side. I flick it open and groan. I love the sound of a new knife opening.

"Is this a proposal to me or what?"

"I'm glad you like it. I had it made as soon as I could."

Once again, my emotions decide to hate me. I can sense anxiety creeping up on me.

"This is insane." I pick the box up and put the knife back in. "I can't take this. We aren't even a thing and you are handing me over a birthday present that costs more than my life."

"What do you want, then? Do you want me to hold your hand walking down the halls? Tell everyone I'm kind of obsessed with you because you are a fucking psychopath and I'm intrigued by how you challenge me?"

I look him in the eyes. God, I could just die with his green eyes staring into my soul. He has me speechless. So speechless, the only thing I can manage to say is, "You haven't even called me."

He hangs his head down and laughs. "And you still have yet to text me."

"Did you say you were obsessed with me?"

"Yep. I want to stalk the living shit out of you until you file a police report."

"Wow. I get a new knife and get to use it on the same person who gave it to me. How lucky am I?" I keep looking at the knife. Okay, maybe I do like it more than I should. "I'm going to use the bathroom real quick."

"I'll see if breakfast is ready."

While I finish up in the bathroom, I hear my phone ringing. Instantly, my mind thinks it's Belinda. Nope. Just an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"You said I never call you."

"How do you have my number when I never texted you and what kind of person calls while in the same house?"

"So you're going to throw a hissy fit because I called you? First, you were mad because we don't communicate enough and now you are mad that I'm calling you?"

"Shut up."

"Do you want to know why I'm calling?"

"To make sure I don't jump out the window and escape?"

"I was wondering how to convince you to go on a date with me."

"I don't date."

"That's why I need to convince you. Do you not listen, Deaf Darlene?"

"Everything that comes out of your mouth makes me want to kill myself."

"Fine. Then I'm kidnapping you."

He hangs up. I fight back a smile. If I smile about this shit, my wall I've built over the years will start tumbling down. I can't have that happening right now.