we can't keep our promises

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Magnus stepped out from the bathroom and walked towards the closet and picked out a dress. He buttoned his shirt and rolled sleeves up.

He sat in front of the mirror and started to comb his hair. He looked at the reflection of his boyfriend in the mirror, who was sleeping in bed like a baby.

He couldn't shake his head and forget what Rach and Tyler said. Deep down he also knows he is affecting Alec. He knew this from the day after their first date night when Alec had a worst nightmare about him leaving Alec.

He took a deep breath and walked towards bed, he knew what he was doing and he knew it would hurt Alec more but he didn't have a choice.

"Alec, Alec…." He tapped Alec cheeks and pulled him forcefully to make him sit.

"what! you stupid..." Alec was annoyed and half opened his eyes. He lifted his head and looked at the wall clock "six clock, it's not the time I usually wake up" he mumbled and tried to lay.

Magnus gripped Alec's shoulders tightly and made him sit.

"I know I pampered you so much but not anymore. I need to talk to you right now so sit properly" he said.

"blah blah….blah" Alec mumbled and nodded his head, still closing his eyes and half conscious.

Magnus gripped Alec's chin tightly and lifted harshly "listen, this is going to be a long talk, look at me" he asked making Alec eyes meet with his "you are gonna answer all my questions".

"Okay, I get it. you are not in a good mood but goodmorning!!" Alec mumbled looking at brown eyes.

"what is going on in your head Alec" he asked. Alec's face looked like a question mark.

"you know very well what iam asking, tell me what's going on this thick skull" Magnus asked giving small slap on Alec temple.

"present sleep, sleep...sleep only….so please let me. I will talk to you later when I wake up" Alec pouted and leaned on Magnus, hiding his face on Magnus' chest and trying to drift into sleep.

"Alec!! this is serious, it's about your health. Do you know what Iam listening about you from others that you are crazy. I know you have some fears, I thought we passed that. is there something i don't know or missing" he asked pushing Alec backward.

"crazy…?" Alec asked looking seriously and continued "you mean mad, are you serious!!".

Magnus tensed, he shouldn't ask like that. He didn't have to mention that word.

"you can't say mad to someone who is mad, that will be more mad like really mad mad, they will get more mad, that causes violence mad like crazy mad" Alec laughed.

Magnus looked confusly while Alec was laughing so hard "what do you mean" he asked.

Alec controlled his laugh and said "I mean, if Iam mad you shouldn't have said that to me, it will hurt my feelings so bad you know. you can't hurt a mad man. they will get angry so quickly like you stupid. you are mad, not me. My stupid mad man" he gripped Magnus shirt pulling him forward and rubbed his nose with Magnus nose.

Magnus pushed Alec and stood up "you are supposed to give me answers Alec, not playing around and stop saying nonsense right now".

Alec made an annoying sound and asked "what do you want me to say".

"start with what happened last night. what do you want to tell me and what's going on in your head" he said.

"I have nothing to say, I fell on the floor and you are not there. That's it" Alec said.

"wait!! That's it" he asked and Alec nodded.

"you wanted to tell me something eagerly, you said sorry for shouting at me, what about that" he asked crossing his arms around chest.

"hmm nothing, just want to say sorry and I did" Alec mumbled.

"Alec!!! one moment you are freaking out and another moment you are crying, then next you are smiling. what's going" he asked sat in front of Alec.

"so this is all nice talk about that, how iam acting!! your friends think iam crazy and you think iam mad. so it is what is, I don't want to say anything" Alec shouted.

"very well Alexander, iam calling your mom to take you to home. clearly i can't take care of you" Magnus said taking phone from nightstand.

"are you kidding me, you can't do that. Iam not going anywhere, I want to stay with you. I thought this is my home" Alec asked.

Magnus thought for a second and picked a tab from the nightstand drawer and unlocked it "you don't want to go home, how about this, look at this" he handed the tablet to Alec.

Alec quickly took that from Magnus hands and started to swipe the pictures.

"it's a forty days program. It includes counseling sessions, group therapy, meditation, CBT and DBT, etc... everything is there. Iam thinking about joining you. since you had biggest worst attack because of me a few days back and everyone thinks iam the one affecting you, now I also thinking same. so it's best idea, I will wait for you outside, you go and be your best and recover fast, come back soon" Magnus said.

"what!!! d-do y-you ww w-want me to…..h-how could y-you. HOW COULD YOU" his voice echoed through the whole room and tears held on eyes.

"I thought we are going together to my sessions, you promised me we are in this together" he asked one drop of tear fell from right eye.

"you promised me no more secrets and you will tell everything to me, no more hiding….I guess we both can't keep promises" Magnus said and stood up, looking at his phone.

"what are you doing, answer me. please don't do this. Iam okay and I know, you also very well know that iam only okay around you. If I don't see you that will be a problem" Alec said.

"don't worry Alec, they will fix it. Besides, you are not going to tell me what's going on in your head, maybe they will find out. you will talk to them eventually, you know you have to stay alone in a tiny bed they gave you in a small room and wake up on time, eat what they will give you, no more demanding your favourite food or sleeping lately. But you will make new friends and every program they conduct helps you a lot, for example meditation and CBT, it's best for your condition. Iam getting positive vibes that you are going to okay there and you will……"Magnus stopped saying and quickly rushed to Alec and hugged him so tight.

"STOP!! stop saying that, stop torturing me. Iam not mad. Iam not" he started to cry out loudly and opened his arms to hug his boyfriend who came quickly and hugged him back.


























 Iam not" he started to cry out loudly and opened his arms to hug his boyfriend who came quickly and hugged him back

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