[Majorly unedited, so be warned.
English is not my first language.]
Cate and Beatrix had this strong bond, since they met on set years ago. During circumstances they lost contact, or maybe decided to cut off their relationship...
But after years of...
There is the phenomenal of the st. Nicholas, who visits the kids on 6th of December and I know some people don't really "celebrate" it in the US or wherever, but my mom and I always celebrated it. I had to clean up my shoes the night before and placed them in front of the front door, so the next morning they were filled up with sweets and little somethings.
Honestly, Christmas is my favourite time of the year and yes, I do know it is incredibly basic, but I always spent it with my mom. She never filmed around that time, so we were able to have each other for a whole month.
I have always enjoyed this time, till now. Everything is changing right now and I have no control over it. It's not that I am hating my life or anything, gosh no, I love it, however changes have always made me feel super anxious.
It is nothing I want constantly in my life, but that won't be working, cause that is life. Something changes and that will always stay that way.
The way I woke up today, was weird. I actually slept longer then three hours. Dashiel was the reason I had woken up in first place, when he began moving and pulling on my blanket I jumped out of my light sleep. I turned around to see, if he was awake and to my surprise he wasn't. His eyes were closed and his mouth was sorta open, all in all it looked adorable and peaceful.
Dash hasn't fallen asleep too quick and I bet he's gonna continue sleeping for a while. A glance at my phone screen showed me it was seven in the morning. Freaking seven. I slept for at least five hours and that is a lot! I haven't slept that long, since Cate wasn't home. Well that only was two days ago, but it's been like a lifetime for me.
I stretched my arms and grabbed my phone, checking new messages.
Mama:
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Mama: remember, ten years ago? When we failed horribly and just went outside at night the same time? We couldn't stop laughing and ended up sitting on the floor all night and eating the candy, so we had to go and get new one the next morning to take this picture.😂 Mama: I miss you so much, my baby!🥺 Me: I can't believe you still have this picture! And of course I remember this! We never had a st. Nicholas day like that😂 I loved it. Me: I miss you too mom💗 Mama: why are you up??? Are you my daughter? Me: oh don't worry I am, but I slept for five hours! Mama: wasn't Cate with you? Me: no, she couldn't. Something came in between and she had to stay on set. Mama: oh, well but she's going to be home today, right? Me: well yeah, I think so. I have to check the rest of my messages Mama: go! Don't let her wait, Trix🙄
I smiled to myself and swiped onto the next chat. Fuck me- I'm so incredibly stupid! Well, now there's definitely no going back. I seriously didn't think before clicking onto the first chat. David's chat...
I should just go onto the next and see what Cate texted. I should go out of this chat. I should... Why do I want to read this? This man does not give a single fuck about me. He didn't even say happy birthday. What kind of a man would do that? Jesus, what kind of a father would do that? Exactly, no one, which is why he is not my father. David, was the sperm donor for my mom twenty six years ago. Yeah, maybe she loved him once, but I don't understand why though. What did she see in him?
