Blanchett

~47. Christmas And Emotions.~

Possible tw: talking of death?
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*Cate's POV*

~Christmas Eve~

"Mom, when will mama be okay again? She's not making jokes anymore... I feel... did I do something wrong?"Dashiel voiced with big eyes and disappointment in his voice.

I gazed down and placed my hand palm on his small cheek. "Baby, mama is not mad at you. You did absolutely nothing wrong, okay?" My boy nodded. "Mama is having a really hard time. Her mom is sick and you know how you felt, when I was in hospital, don't you?" He nodded again. "We will need to stay strong for her, is that alright?"

"Is grandma going to die?" I swallowed at his question.

My knees found the ground, as I kneeled down and grabbed his small hands. "... You know she is very sick..."

Dashiel nodded. "So she's going to see papa? And grandpa?"

"She will, baby. She will meet your papa and my papa as well." I smiled weakly and so did he. "Shall we go and pick mama and grandma up for dinner?"

"Yes!" He squealed and sat down in the car.

I stood up myself and got into the driver's seat.

Jesus, the past days have been horrible. Since Bea found out about her mom's disease, everything changed. Or more she did. My fiancé did not take in the news well. I mean, for fucks sake, Bea vomited due to the stress and not only once! And when I told her about the topic of the call, we did not even know anything else, yet she already felt sick and puked.
When we flew over again, Bea did not close her eyes for a minute. She didn't sleep nor eat. So, the moment we arrived at the hospital Bea seemed calmer. Inside her mom's hospital room, she hadn't left her side.

Bea did not care about her basic needs. And that worries me till now, cause that didn't change much. If it wasn't me, who cooked and made sure she ate, she simply wouldn't do it. Or if I didn't tell her to take a shower then and now, she would not do that either.

Not to mention her horrible behavior around people. Bea acted cool around her mom and literally everybody. She even does it around me! That's ridiculous! Nonetheless, this was not all. Sometimes her mood is the complete opposite. The previous two days, Bea wasn't so cool. She actually is very sleepy and unmotivated...

Why would my fiancé feel the need to act around me? I get that this is everything but easy for her, however I thought we were past that state of pretending and not trusting one another. I mean it's hard for all of us...
And there is the crying. Every night she cried, when she thought I was asleep. Every single night...

In the hospital, Dash already knew the way to Gillian's room, so we walked directly towards it. We rounded the corner hand in hand and there she was. Bea. She sat next to her mom on the bed. Her belly looks beautifully round. I feel as if it grows every second about an inch, which is irrational, yet I like the idea.

"Mama!" Dash smiled and ran towards her, falling into her arms.

I hadn't seen her smiling in a while. Even though I knew she probably didn't mean it... no. I won't make up assumptions. Perhaps that actually managed to make her smile. Maybe Dashiel was the reason for her to smile. I like that thought.

Gillian looked up to me, with a smile on her face. "Is the cab here?"

"Oh? You are up for jokes?" I grinned.

"Always." She stood up on her wobbly legs and embraced me.

The woman has already gotten skinnier. Yet, Gillian was joy in person. There was nothing keeping her from that happiness. At least not in my presence. Bea was usually like that too... I want her back or I want my sweet girl to be okay, at least.