BROKEN PIECES.

CHAPTER 22 | I'M JEALOUS

It's been six months since I started attending University and I'm loving it. I haven't met any new friends though cause my friend is thando and we're always together and I prefer it that way honestly cause opening up to people and talking about your life story when they start asking a bunch of question is not something I'm ready for or even look forward to.
Thando didn't get the Loan but she broke down and cried when mom offered to pay for her tuition fees. We're very thankful to her and especially Raphael cause I don't know where we would be right now had I not met him. Him and I talk every three days during the week cause he's studying, I am too and it's gets hard sometimes to not talk to him every day. I miss him allot and I can't wait to see him when he visits during his holidays. I hope he will come for my birthday and spend Christmas with us so I can just hold him.
I'm doing better and the nightmares have stopped although I'll freak out sometimes when I see someone who resembles Dan or when someone I don't know touches me unintentionally. Living with mom Natasha is truly a blessing cause she loves us like we are her own kids and she has got us a French tutor who comes every Friday afternoon. I just wish she would get out more and meet a man who will love her although I get a sense that she might have a thing for Raphael's uncle.
It's Thursday morning and we are on our way to attend classes. Thando seems pre-occupied with her phone and I think It's the guy she likes in her class. I think she has forgotten about Felix, that friend of Vusi and Raphael's or maybe it could be him.
" You know they think we are rich spoiled kids? " huh? Thando says.
" What? Who thinks that? "
" The guys in my class and some in yours "
" Where did you hear that? "
" This girl who likes to greet us, the nerdy one with glasses? "
" Uhm yeah "
" Yeah she told me. We have a drivers that look like body guards, well they are that too. They pick and drop us off and if not them it's our rich aunty " Yeah thando still calls her aunty Nat. I think it's because for her it's different. She knows her parents and still remembers them.
" but we're not rich or spoiled. We are taken care by people who are rich " One of the drivers looks at me through the rear view mirror.
" But we are rich. Look at our clothes, where we live and the monthly allowance she gives us. We do have rich girl vibes especially you sis "
" Hhayi Thando I don't have rich girl vibes and what does especially me means? "
" You're beautiful, smart and lets not forget that necklace you wear. People are talking." I don't like this.
" I thought I covered it well "
" It's ice sis and it's not very hard to ignore when it's around your neck "
" I've never heard anyone talk about it " I touch it and it still feels heavy ever since mom told me how much it's worth.
" Jabs how would you know cause you hardly talk to anyone besides me. The girls and guys want to know you but you're closed off and I understand why but they don't. All I'm saying us just open up a little and let people in."
" You know it's hard for me to open up to just anyone. I'm not like you." She knows I'm an introvert.
" I know but a little conversation here and there won't hurt anyone "
" Yeah it won't hurt until they ask questions like if Natasha is our mother or what or why we live with her and all that. Opening up to people means inviting questions like that and I don't want to talk about where I grew up or how I ended up living with my boyfriends aunt. I'm trying to forget that part of my thando "
" I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to get you upset. I was just saying..."
" Thando listen. If you want to have more friends that's cool with me. I didn't stop you and I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you back cause I don't want more friends. I just don't want strangers in my private life."
" I know jabs." The car parks.
" Listen guys don't come and pick me up. I'll catch an Uber back home " They do have our schedule for our classes.
" No that's not how it works. You know that " Eric who's driving tells her.
" Look I told aunty and she's cool with it." They nod. Why don't I believe her.
" Where are you really going? "
" We have this business thing that we have to go do as a group and I know it's going to take time "
" But they can pick you up when you're done "
" Nope. I'll just Uber home. I'll see you later " We hug and go our separate ways.
My only class today is Psychology. The class is going to be long and draining because our lecturer loves to talk and talk. Sometimes she ends up moving away from what were actually taking about but she's the best lecturer and knows her stuff. Two hours later my head feels like it was hit by a hammer.
We were learning about why people act a certain way emotionally. In parts of her lecture I felt like she was talking to me about what kind of personality I have and how my personality contributes to the way I think and behave. How we as humans react to people when they talk to us and with us. How we respond to the information we are getting at that time. She further instructed us to take notes about people around us. Watch their behavior and the way they respond to us.
I love learning about people cause that will help me into seeing what kind of people they are and if they mean danger to me. I don't want to give away my trust then get hurt in the process. I trusted Zuki and treated her like my sister but at the end. She turned on me like I did her wrong. I wonder how she's doing, Mam Mavis too. I wonder if that fool Dlamini hasn't raped and gotten another girl pregnant.
I'm not watching where I'm going cause the next thing I feel is colliding with someone and my books fall in different directions. Just great.
" Hey watch where you're going dummy " Says a high squeaking voice.
" I'm sorry. It was a mistake " I pick up one book but she kicks another one just far from me and they laugh with her friends.
" Next time watch where you're going dummy "  I pick up the other one and then walk to pick the one she kicked but someone picks it up for me.
" That's not nice Monica. " Someone says. Great. Another one. " Here " He says. I nod and take it from him and walk away leaving him with the girl who's Monica busy explaining herself that it was a mistake.
I walk out of the halls and straight to the parking lot where I know they are waiting for me but I hear someone calling my name and it's that guy. I ignore the voice and walk faster but he runs to me and touches my shoulder. I don't how I turned around cause I see his hands up like he's surrendering and takes a step back.
" Uh I wasn't troubling her. I just wanted to give her, her....uhm pencil case, with her pens " Eric and Tom stand in front of me like they are shielding me from him. My God this is not happening cause now we have eyes on us.
" Thank you " Eric takes the case then we walk to the car. " Don't ever do that " I almost yell at them.
" But miss Jabu "
" and I told you to stop calling me miss Jabu. He was trying to give me my case and yes maybe I overeacted but there was no need for the both of you to rush to me like I was in trouble." The car moves.
" We are sorry miss..uhm Jabu." I just shake my head.
Now they are going to think that I am nutcase who needs protection from people and that is the last thing I need. When we get home I take my things, step out of the car and walk in the house and straight to my room throwing myself on the bed. I feel like screaming and that's because what thando said got under my skin.
I take out my phone and call Raphael but his phone keeps ringing. I try a number of times again then end up leaving a voice message. He's probably in class. I go on Instagram and I see pictures of people Raph posted. It's three girls and two guys. He tagged them said my friends and it looks like they are in the same class as him. I look at the time and the pictures were posted 20 minutes ago. I feel myself feeling some sort of jealousy. I post a picture of him saying I love and miss him then tag him.
Someone knocks lightly then they walk in. I turn and it's mom.
" No hey ma, I'm back today? "
" I'm back mom " She sits on the bed.
" What's wrong? "
" I don't want to be driven to the UniversIty anymore " She frowns.
" What happened? "
" Well apparently they think we are rich spoiled kids driven by bodyguards and..." I tell her everything Thando told me and what she said about me losoening up a bit.
" Ohk but I want to know. What really got you upset "
" I'm not a spoiled rich kid. I'm still plain old me."
" Your life is different now. You are no longer living that life you lived. Why is it hard for you to accept that good things are happening in your life? "
" I try but it's still hard. Sometimes I feel like I am going to wake up and all of this will be over. It can get hard to adjust to this life I'm now living and I feel like for Thando it's easy cause she used to live it before her parents died."
" And for you it's a struggle. You've been hidden from the world up until a few months ago and you're still trying to find your feet."
" Sometimes it can be overwhelming "
" I understand baby. Have you told your therapist all of this? "
" I have talked to her about it and she always says I must take it one step at a time. This is a whole new world I didn't think I was ever going to see, hell I almost didn't see it." I sigh. She takes my hand.
" You didn't choose this life for yourself baby. You didn't choose to be left at the orphanage alone without any explanation. This. Now. You chose it for yourself so don't you dare feel like you don't deserve it cause I don't kow anyone who's more deserving of it than you. They call you a rich spoiled kid then let them cause they don't know where you've been in life. They don't know the struggles you passed through to get here and if they did. They would be damn proud of you. "
" Thank you mom. You always make me feel better and I feel better talking with you about it." We both smile.
" Haven't heard you giggling talking to Raph on the phone " She cocks her head and I huff.
" We are both studying but we talk when we get time. I hope he will come during his holidays. I miss him." She nods and keeps quiet. " Mom? "
" I didn't want to be the one to tell you but I was talking to his father today and he tells me that they are going to USA" Wow. " I thought that maybe he has already told you "
" Who's they, his new friends or his family? "
" Him and his classmates. Apparenlty all first years who study what he studies go there."
" Until Christmas even after my birthday? "
" I'm sorry baby I'm not sure but it looks that way."
" That sucks "
" Thando and I will here baby." I nod. " Ok let me leave you then "
" What about what we talked about? "
" You mean you not wanting to be driven to work? " I nod " No. That stands for the both of you "
" What about this? I don't want it to give me unnecessary attention "
" That's for your protection "
" Can't you do something cheaper and less flashy "
" Talk to Raphael about getting it altered."
" Yeah I mean they can get something that looks exactly like it with that button "
" Talk to him about it "
" Thanks mom " She nods and walks out.
I feel asleep and woke up hours later and I notice thando is still not back home and I have been calling her since and she's not picking up. It's getting late and mom is going to walk through that door any minute. I check her Instagram and she looks like she's at some sort of party. I call her again and she finally picks up.
" Hello? " A voice says.
" Who's this? Where's my sister? "
" She's here wasted " the girl says.
" Can you please send me your location? "
" Sure. I will "
" What's your name? " I ask her.
" Lele. The girl with he glasses"
" Thanks Lele. Can you please make sure no one touches her "
" I will "  I hang up and quickly run the cottage.
" Eric? " I call his name knocking on the door. The door opens.
" Jabu? What's wrong? "
" Thando is drunk, wasted somewhere and mom is going to kill her " He takes his keys and phone on the table
" Let's go " He does something on the phone as we run to the car and get in. He drives out and not asking me where we are going.
" She's at...."
" I know where she is "
" How? "
" Your phones location."
" What? "
" It's my job to protect you. I have to always know where you are Jabu and take it with Thato if you have a problem with it." Of course it's him.
We drive for almost an hour and half until we stop outside this house in Soweto. The are people outside and it looks like they are drinking. They look at the car then continue to drink.
" Where are we? "
" Snake Park. Stay here in the car. Don't get out."
" But the girl..."
" Jabu. Stay here okay " He steps out and locks me in the car.
He walks in without talking to anyone and gets in the house. I take out my phone and call Lele
" Hello? "
" Hi, it's me Jabu we spoke earlier. I'm..."
" Yeah I saw your car and your bodyguard and he's picking your  sister. Damn he is strong."
" Thanks Lele "
" Yeah I looked after her so you owe me "
" What? "
" I looked after your sister's drunk ass. So you owe me. I didn't do it for free. Rich kids like you? Hell No!. We will talk about my payment. " She hangs up. I shake my head.
This is the same thing I was trying to avoid. I owe some stupid people now all because Thando decided to open up a bit and lie about doing school work. Eric comes out with Thando on his shoulders and unlocks the doors. I jump out of the car and open the backseat door and he lays her there.
" We have to take her to the hospital to get checked "
" Oh my God no! " No God don't let this be. Please God!
" Jabu, Hey , Jabu? "  I look at him.
" I don't think anything happened but just in case she was drugged.  Don't panic okay? " I nod but I'm scared.
We get in the car and he calls mom and tells her we're going to the hospital. He drives straight to the Hospital and they take her to get checked. A few moments later mom walks in followed by Tom and it looks like she was running.
" What happened? " She asks me. I tell her what I know then we wait for the doctor or nurse to tell us what happened. A doctor walks to us and we stand up.
" Are you the family of Thando Jele? " We nod.
" I'm her aunt Natasha. What happened to her? How is she? "
" She is awake and fine Miss Natasha. She got drunk and we found traces of dagga on her blood. She says she didn't smoke it and maybe she's telling the truth or she's afraid of your reaction." What? Dagga and Thando? No!.
" No my sister doesn't smoke. They must have slipped in her drink or something? "
" She is fine. You can go and see her "
We walk to the ward and the nurse removes the sheet separating her from others and she looks like she was crying. I run to her and hug her tight. She keeps apologizing and saying she's never going to do it again. Mom just shakes her head and tells us we must go home and we do. She doesn't ride with us in the car. Eric parks the car and we sit there cause she's scared and I'm also scared for her.
" Jabs I only smoked one joint. I just wanted to try it that's all."
" You put your life in danger Thando. Anything could have happened to you, You could have been...." I find myself tearing up cause she could have been raped too.
" I'm sorry. I just wanted to experiement."  I hug her.
" I don't want you to go through what I went through okay. Please promise me you won't do something like this with people you don't know "
" I promise."
" Next time you want to experiement or try something stupid. Talk to us first." Eric says. Mom knocks on the window.
"Thando! Come! "
" Wish me luck." She steps out and they both walk to the house.
" Uhmm Eric? "
" Jabu? "
" There was a girl in there. Her name is Lele and she wears glasses..."
" We see her " He says.
" She said I owe her since she was watching over Thando. She didn't do it for free, for rich kids like us and she will call me about her payment. "
" Don't worry. We'll take care of it "
" Thank you. "
I step out of the car and walk to the house and mom is shouting at thando. I'm about to sit down but she sends me straight to my room and I leave. I close my bedroom door and hear mom say.
" I don't want Thato to find out about this cause that will cause problems between you two Thando. You know how over protective he is over here and if he hears about this, it might cause problems between you and him which will hurt her cause she loves the two of you." I sigh and close the door.
I take my phone and sit on the bed and call Raphael again but still, he doesn't pick up. I got scared today for Thando and I just wanted to hear his voice. I check my Instagram to see if he responded but nothing from him. The only thing I notice is his friends that he tagged follow me now and I don't know how I feel about that cause one girl replied with a grinning emoji and I don't know how to take that. It could be anything but I decide to check her Instagram and I see my photos of herself, family, friends and some of Raphael. Not some but many, mostly it's just him or with her or the other friends of theirs.
I feel jealous, insecure and I feel hurt that someone else might feel or see him the way I see him. I delete the photo that I posted of him then switch my phone off. I'm not hungry.