BROKEN PIECES.

CHAPTER 3 | MARKS

The rest of the day I spend it playing with the other kids in the play room and I see zuki talking on the phone and laughing and she's dressed really good like she's going out.

I miss her a lot and I want to know what's going on in her life cause I used to live through her you know like the stories she would tell me. I just wish she would talk to me.

We have supper, I go shower and then study for an hour then my wrong vibrates. I take it out and it’s a message  from thato on WhatsApp

“ hey…you sleeping already? ”

“ no was just studying for a while. What are you doing?. ”

“ just watching a movie on my laptop. I wish you were here though so we can watch itt together. ” I blush

“ as friends right?. ”

“ whatever feels comfortable with you but for now just friends. ” what does he mean. I send him that monkey emoji that’s covering his eyes. “ I like you a lot jabu and I hope one day you'll be my girlfriend. ” oh my god. I’ve never had a boyfriend before.

“ uhm I don't know. I'm tired well talk tomorrow. ”

“ I'll wait for you. I'm patient guy and I was still enjoying talking to you but I understand that you are tired. I am too my sunshine. Have a good night neh?. ”

“ good night thato.”  I'm blushing and smiling like an idiot. My stomach is in knots cause I feel like I have a butterfly flying inside my stomach and it feels good. Wow I guess thato is going to be my first boyfriend that’s…wow. I feel happy and excited and I haven’t felt like this genuine happiness in a while and I don’t want this feeling to leave me and go away. I sleep with a huge smile in my face.

It's during the night and I'm dreaming again that very same dream every night. Someone is playing with my breasts, pinching and squeezing them. I want to wake up but I can't, I want to scream for help but I can't. Something is making it hard for me to open my eyes, move my body or even talk. What the hell is going on with me?.

I try to open my eyes but they are heavy and I have a headache like I was smoking something. I feel hands travelling down on my stomach to my private area and I freak out. I don't know what happens next cause the touching stops.I try to move my body again but it feels too heavy I can't even lift up my head or open my eyes. My cheeks get wet cause I am screaming and crying inside.
I eventually fall asleep again and wake up really tired. I go have breakfast then go back to my room again and sleep. I wake up late before lunch time. I go to shower then come back. I pull the table to the door locking everyone out then throw tmy towel on the bed then I notice something on my body that was never there. A reddish mark on my left  boob. Oh my god how did I get that?. Was it when we were playing?. Yes I got it when we were playing.

We have lunch and I get online and see that thato hasn't been online and his last seen was at 01: 45 am I guess he was studying. I decide to leave him a message.
“ hi that, hope you slept well.  Let me know when your online. ” I send it then take my books and study.

On Tuesday the exams begin and I want to ace them.
I don't hear from thato the whole day and night and I fall asleep at 1:00 am. I don't know if I had the dream or not cause I don't wake up during the night or feel anything on my body. Since we will be writing the exams tomorrow we don't attend any classes. I wake up, shower quickly, have breakfast and go to the library. Well I no longer have to ask because they know we need to study for the exams.

“ hey…wait for me. I'm going to the library too‘’ says thando. She lives here too but she's way more reserved than I am. We don't really talk cause she came here when she was 15 and I think it's still hard for herto adjust living here and getting used to this kind of environment.

“ ok let's go.” We both leave.

“ so…do you go to the library everyday?”

“ when I'm not tired or allowed and when the library is not closed ” I tell her

‘‘ I've always watched you go and I was scared to ask you if I can come with you ’’ haw

“ haw why….I don't bite nje ” I say laughing.

“ I know that now. It’s just that zuki says your stuck up and think you're all that?” I stop walking and look at her.

“ what?….ay thando don't say that. Zuki wouldn't say that about me?.” Would she?.

“ it's true look. She posted it in the group on WhatsApp” she takes out her phone and shows me the messages and what zuki has been saying about me.

“ why would she say mean things about me. All of this is not true. ” she wrote that I broke up her relationship with her boyfriend, I was jealous of their relationship, I went behind her back and said mean things to him. “ that’s crazy!. I hated max and I told her to stay away from him but she wouldn’t listen.”

“ I know mean you don't even go out to town on the weekends so I knew she was lying. I heard one of the boys at the home say that when max finally took her virginity, he told her that’s all he wanted. He has a girlfriend and zuki means nothing to her.” I knew it and that explains why zuki was crying but why blame me?.

“ you know what I don't care and I'm not going to ask her. So this WhatsApp group everyone is in it who lives here at the home?”

“ yeah not everyone but most. When I asked her why she didn't add you she said you don't have a phone and we all laughed. I'm sorry I did. ” o don’t blame her.

“ it's okay thando you're being honest. I do have a phone she just doesn't know.”

“ oh cool let's exchange numbers so we can chat.” We do. My phone vibrates. It never rings.

“ hello?”

“ my sunshine. Are you going coming to the library today?. ”

“ yes I'm on my way there.” I'm annoyed with him and I don't know why.

“ cool I'm already there. See you.” he hangs up.

“ who was that ” she asks and were almost at the library.

“ just a friend from school. ” well he is a friend.

“ cool I get to have another friend besides you. ” I look at her and shake my head.

As were getting near I see thato outside the library gate with some guys and they are standing outside a car talking. He doesn't see us cause he's busy talking and they listening to him. We get near them and they look at us and thato finally turns and sees me.

Now let me describe thato. He's medium height, dark skin and has that fuckboy haircut. He dresses well and always smells nice and he has a small beard that he's starting to grow. He smokes too apparently cause he smells of cigarette.

“ baby.” he smiles his perfect smile and opens his arms for me and I get between them and hug him.  He kisses my forehead. I look at him and frown. First it was baby now forehead kisses?. Hmm.

“ gents meet my girl jabu.” I'm his girl now? okay I'll take that. They introduce themselves and I introduce thando.
“ I'll see you later gents” they do a weird hand shake then we leave them and get inside the library.

“ he's cute and you guys look cute together. I'm going to sit there and let you guys talk ” ay this one she leaves us and we sit down.

“ I'm sorry I was m.i.a yesterday. I saw your messages this morning. ”

“ where were You?”

“ I partied a lot on Saturday and on Sunday I slept the whole day. Do you forgive me? ”

“ yeah I forgive you ”

“ kiss me then.”  He says pointing his cheek ….eeehhhh what?. I lean over to him to kiss his cheek but he moves his head and my lips touch his. I gasp in shock and he kisses me again but I pull back. I'm so embarrassed and shocked cause it was unexpected and kind of nice.

“ wow….thank you for that ” he says smiling and he holds my hands and I look down and blush.

“ uhmm lets study” I say

“ thando.... come sit with us” I call her over.She comes wearing this huge grin on her face and giggles. She hugs me.

“ I saw you guys kissing wow friend was that your first kiss ” she asks.

“ shhhh he'll hear you ” I say. We both giggle.

We sit and study but it's so hard to focus I keep stealing glances at thato and see he's looking at me too and blush I like crazy. I can’t believe I had my first kiss at a library.

We continue to study as hard as it is to focus but I finally manage. It's four pm and it's time we went to the home. So we pack our books and leave. We have thato between us and he's holding my hand. His is so warm like wow I've never felt hands that warm not that I have held anyone’s hand besides zuki's.

“ so listen I was thinking since on Friday we won't be writing uhm I was thinking that maybe we could study at my house. My parents will be at work and they won't be at home until after six. ”

“ uhmm….. I don't know thato ” I think about what happend to zuki and I don't think I'm ready for that.

“ we are just going to study and I was thinking we could spend some time you know and get to know each other.” I feel my heart crushing a little.

“ I think things are moving too quickly thato. ” I honestly tell him.

“ hey nothing like that is going to happen damn girl you think too much. ” he chuckles. “ look you can come with thando if that will make you feel better.”

“ oh I'd like that and we'll definitely come” she says excited….this girl Mara she was even listening?.

‘“ uyaphapha thando ”’ I say laughing. We're about to turn around a corner then will be at our street when thato stops me.

“ uhmm can you give us a minute thando?. ”

“ sure I'll be there waiting ” she giggles and skips as she leaves.
“ you wanted us to talk?.” He turns me around and our bodies touch. My eyes level with his mouth and I feel his warm breath on my face and I swallow. I feel nervous.

These things that I feel when I'm near him are new. I have never felt like this standing next to any guy.

“ I just wanted to do this ” he kisses me softly and passionately and I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back too not holding back. Our teeth clash and I giggle then laugh. He looks at me then laughs too.

“ sorry about that. I have never kisses anyone before and I’m a bad kisser ne?.”

“ no baby you're not. I'll teach you how to kiss without the teeth clashing but can I get a last one before you guys go.”

“ ok. ” I say. This time he has his hands on my waist and we kiss gosh it takes me out of this world and I love it. We kiss then I feel his hands moving to my ass I continue to kiss him then he grips my ass and I gasp wanting to say something but someone beats me to it.

“ ugh get a room yeses..” We break the kiss and see zuki and what wait phumla? What?. I'm shocked when I see just the two of them.

“ you've done worse than what she's doing now.” says thato.

“ zuki….phumla?” I look at Phumla and zuki. I see that they holding hands the Phumla quickly drops it.

“ are you guys together or what?” I ask them.

“ yeah babe…this is the coconut I've been telling you about. Zuki's boyfriend ”

“ don't fucking call me a coconut wena nja!.” Phumla says angrily.

“ what?….you are fucking cousins zukiswa?” I ask her shocked.

“ better than that trash you’re sticking your tongue at ” she says wow.

“ don't call me trash wena sfebe” thato says starting to get angry.

“ don't call my brothers girl sfebe wena. I'll beat you up boy!.” Phumla says.

“ forget about them….let's go. I'll see you tomorrow at school ”  I tell him when phumlani takes zuki to the home. “ don't mind them. ” I hug him and he’s still watching them.

“ do you know that guy?”

“ the one with zuki?…yeah I do”

“ is he your ex or something ” I laugh.

“ what no…never….why are you asking me that? ”

“ because of the way he was looking at you. I didn’t like it ” I smile.

“ were you jealous ” I ask him.

“ me jealous…never. I just don't like it when some punk looks at you.” I giggle. He brushes his hair.

“ don't worry. I only met him once. He is Max’s cousin. She was dating max  before then it’s cousin now.”

“ I'm glad you're not like her. She's bad news and it is known that the girls that stay at the home are very promiscuous  ” they are saying that about us?.

“ ok I have to go well chat later before I sleep okay.” He nods, we hug then he turns and leaves.
We pass zuki and Phumla having an argument outside the gate and we pass them.

“ jabu can we talk’’ says Phumla

“ sorry I'm in a hurry ” there's no way I'm getting involved and it's none of my business what zuki does. She once told me that herself.

“ you guys are so cute and the way you kissed yoh.”

“ ay thando man sies. You can't look at people doing that.” I tell her laughing.

“ why not I like it and can't wait to have my own boyfriend ”she says wishfully.

“ you are crazy but I like you. ” we laugh.

“ I'm going to shower. Do you want to join me?.” I ask her and her eyes get huge like…oh my god!.

“ ugh wena Mara thando…unjani” she laughs so hard she even has tears in her eyes.

“ the look on your face was priceless ” I shake my head this girl.

“ yeah wait for me and we'll go together ” she leaves to her room.

I get in mine, change then take my toiletry bag then wait for her in the door. She comes with her pyjamas  and out them on my bed and we go to the showers and shower her telling me funny stories about where she grew up before coming to this place. We finish showering and I can't remember the last time I laughed like this or had such an amazing day.

We moisture and wear our pyjamas then go to the dining room and wait for supper but it doesn't take long before man mavis serves us. Zuki ignores us and I think she doesn't like my new friendship with thando but I don't care.

After supper we all go to our rooms and I take my phone get on WhatsApp to chat to thato but he's offline. I'm going to sleep early cause tomorrow I'm going to be writing. I fall asleep thinking about thato and his warm kisses.
I get the same dream but this time it's different. I know it's a man and he's bigger and stronger than me cause he feels very heavy. I feel cold like I'm naked totally and I moan. He gets spooked and gets off of me. I open my eyes and this time they open but it's too dark and I cant see who’s here and that damn smell of something burning is making my head hurt.

“ who's here……what do you want ” my voice is rough like I've been screaming or I've got flue. There's no answer. I try to get up but I can't. I try to lift my arms but I can't.

I see a figure coming towards me…I open my mouth to scream but he covers my nose with something that smells very sharp and it's lights out for me.

I wake up with more marks on my body like something was biting me when I go shower. I remember what happened yesterday and I'm afraid to tell someone cause  I don't know if they'll believe me or think I'm crazy. But I'll tell mam mavis I know she will believe me.

The week goes by so fast we hardly have time to chat with thato we talk at school during g lunch but at home it’s hard cause we are both studying hard. I forget to tell mam Mavis about what has been going on with the dreams I’ve been having and that one time someone was in my room.

Today is Friday and I am both excited but also scared cause I don’t know how everything is going to go but I’m at ease cause thando is also coming with me. We talked last night and he said hell be waiting for us just around the corner so the security can’t see us with him. We leave as usual and no one asks us where we are going but we did report.

“ are you excited that you guys are going to be alone?. ”

“ you’ll be there too thando. ”

“ but I know that you guys are going to sneak to his room and kiss each other and stuff. ” I shake my head.

“ I’m not ready for that thando and it scares me just by thinking about it.” I shrug my shoulders.

“ don’t be, it hurts at first but then you get used to it. ” I stop walking and look at her.

“ Thando you’re not a virgin?. ”

“ Hell no I lost a lot when I was 14. I was dating the boy from next door. Our parents thought we were just friends, they didn’t know we are actually dating. So this one night our parents decide to go on a double date and they left us and we did it. ”

“ Wow, I would have never guessed. You did it only once or many times?. ” we continue to walk.

“ Four times then we broke up cause they moved to another city and then my parents died in an accident and I had to come here. ”

“ I’m sorry for that. Why didn’t any family members take you in?. ”

“ My mom was an only child and my dad was the black sheep of the family and none of them wanted anything to do with me. I think my uncle sold the house cause my dad had apparently written his as his beneficiary and my guardian but he took the money and not me. He told the socialism workers to find me a home. That’s how I got here."

“ At least you know your parents thando and where they are cause I don’t know mine and I don’t know their names. I was left at the orphanage gate with only my birth certificate and blanket.”

“ I’m sorry jabu. Have you ever thought about looking for them or asking mam dlamini about them?. ”

“ she’s the one who told me all of that mad she told me to let it go cause  obviously they don’t want me.” She throws her arm around me.

“ I don’t believe that mean woman. Maybe they were young and scared.”

“ They would have came back thando, I’m 17 now. It shows that they didn’t want me.”

“ maybe but still. ”

“ let’s leave it. I don’t want that’s to hear.” She nods.

Thato is sitting on a rock and yes again he’s the one who’s the centre of attention. He likes to talk. They laugh at something he’s saying. We walk closer.

“ sanibonani. ( hi). ” he turns when he hears my voice.

“ Ah sphalaphala Sami. My smile keeper. Unjani baby?.” His hand is on his heart as he’s talking. I blush and look down.

“ I’m good wena?.”

“ ah baby I’m on top of the world right now. hi thando. ”

“ Hi thuto and your friends.” They greet back.

“ I’ll see you later gents. ” they nod. He takes my school bag from me then lace our hands together. Thando giggles.