Back to normality?

Chapter 73

Authors note: so it's been nearly two years since I updated 🤦‍♀️ but life got in the way. However, I've reread it and think I know how to go forward. So we left off where Peter was struggling with his urges, and Carla was five months pregnant.

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Letting herself and Matilda into the flat, Carla couldn't help but wonder what the future would hold for them as a family, and as a couple; settling Matilda onto her feet, she watched as her daughter ran over to Peter and begged to be picked up.

"Up dada, up."

"Hey princess," he smiled, setting the sharp knife out of her reach and lifting her onto his hip. "Did you have fun with Auntie Michelle and Mia?"

"Cake," she beamed, a smile bigger than ever.

"I can see that, it's all around your face," he laughed, noticing the state she was in. "Somebody needs a bath."

"No," Matilda whined. "Mama"

"Come on, why don't you go and find some toys for the bath?" Carla suggested.

Waiting until their daughter ran to the nursery, she turned back to Peter.

"Are we okay?" Peter asked.

"I don't know. How close were you? To have a drink?" She put it back to him.

"Pretty close."

"Have you tried buying any?"

"No... but I've got as close as the shop door," he admitted.

Sighing, Carla ran her fingers through her hair before settling a hand on her bump.

"Okay," she said as she heard Matilda calling her.

With Matilda bathed and settled in the playpen with her toys, she joined Peter at the table as he plated up their dinner; they ate in silence until Peter took her hand and squeezed it.

"How else can I prove to you?"

"Was this morning your first meeting?" She asked, looking at him.

"Yes"

"And you promise you haven't touched a drop?"

"I swear on our children, I haven't so much as had a drop. I will go to daily meetings and buy a machine so you can check every day if it'll make you happier"

"Today should have been a happy day, seeing our baby again but all I've felt is anxiety and worry and stress; I feel like I'm in the wrong for not trusting you but I'm scared if I turn my back for even a second, we're going to end up in a place neither of us wants," she said, tears brimming her eyes.

"Love..." he whispered as he moved to kneel next to her. "I'm sorry for causing you to feel like that; I will do whatever you want me to. I'll sleep in the nursery if you want me to, or on the sofa, but please don't push me away. I love you so much and I'm trying hard to fight against the urges and impulses; I need to know you'll be by my side no matter what"

"I love you too Peter; you've been so distant for weeks. I thought you'd finally had enough of me but you didn't know how to tell me" she admitted.

"I'm not going anywhere with a fight; I've told you before. This, our family is everything I need and soon enough, we'll have another little boy or girl to add to the brood; I thought if I kept my distance, I could get through it without worrying you but I was wrong because love, I can't do this without you" he pleaded, showing his vulnerability. "I need you to help me"

"It'll be okay" she whispered, kissing the top of his head as he rested his head in her lap. "We'll find a way through it"

Allowing him to let the tears out, she stroked his head and blinked away her own tears; she couldn't see any other choice. She'd stand by him and hoped together, they could help him past through the threat of his addiction.