Back to normality?

Chapter 40

Two days later, it was finally Christmas Day; Carla had woken early, well before even Matilda had stirred. Her emotions were in overdrive, ranging from excited to nervous to overwhelming; she wanted the day to be perfect. Although the previous year had been a good one, with Peter proposing, it was marred with the feelings of her recovery and pregnancy; this year, she had her daughter with her, safe and healthy and happy. Her and Peter were finally the family they should've been all them years ago; they had stayed up late the night before, talking about how Carla was feeling and coping with the pressure of the upcoming holidays. She insisted she was fine but after her near miss panic attack a couple of days before, he wasn't completely convinced; all he could do was keep an eye on her and hope if she did start to get overwhelmed, they could stop it before it escalated. Seeing Peter still sound asleep, Carla looked at the clock, the red numbers glared back at her: 5:30am; sighing, she rested her head on his chest as she tried to get another hour in before the mayhem began but the attempt was futile. Her mind was already running at a million miles; giving up, she padded into the living area, switched on the tree lights and grabbed a coffee before sitting on the sofa. Washing her medication down with her drink, the calmness and slow twinkling of the lights soon caused her to drift off again; this was how Peter found her, two hours later, curled up on the sofa, head resting on the arm and a blanket over her cold body. Wanting to let her get some more sleep, he made up a bottle before heading back to the bedroom; by the time he'd fed, changed and dressed Matilda, Carla was still asleep. Knowing she would be upset if he let her sleep any longer and would already be upset from having missed Matilda wake up on her first Christmas morning, he settled his daughter in the playpen in the corner before sitting on the floor next to the sofa; he sat for a couple of minutes, watching her seem so peaceful before gently sweeping her hair out of her eyes as kissing her gently. A few seconds later, her eyes started to flicker before a hand came up to rub them before finally focusing on him; the realisation soon hit when she heard Matilda giggle from the pen.

"Did she wake already?! I was meant to be there..." she said, quickly lifting her daughter onto her hip, noticing she was already in the special outfit Carla had purchased especially. "You got her dressed?!"

"Love..."

"Today was meant to be perfect and I ruined it"

"You didn't ruin anything; you were tossing and turning most of the night. You needed the extra sleep..." he said, standing in front of her, not touching her until she initiated the contact.

"I was supposed to get up with her; it's her first Christmas and it was meant to be perfect" she cried.

"And it will be" he said, wiping away her tears. "Did you take your tablets? Did that make you go back to sleep?"

She nodded and nestled her cheek into the hand that was resting on it.

"You know you've been feeling a little stressed out planning today; everything will be fine, I promise. So I'm going to put the turkey crown in the oven while you sit and cuddle our little girl and then we'll wake Simon up and start on the presents, okay?" He suggested.

"Michelle?" She whispered.

"She'll be here later; why don't you take five minutes to focus yourself? We have all day to celebrate..."

"I don't wanna trigger today Peter"

"I know you don't; that's why it's important to take the time out. Simon is old enough to know we have to take it at your pace; these feelings and emotions have been building for days. I need you to talk to me..." he said, wrapping his arms around her as she finally initiated a cuddle from him.

"I need...I don't know what I need" she admitted.

"And that's okay; we can take this a step at a time. Let me get the turkey in the oven and then we can plan what you want to do, okay?"