Back to normality?

Chapter 77

True to his word, Peter got back on track and now it was the day of Matilda's second birthday, June 3rd; now at eight months pregnant, Carla was exhausted but happy she hadn't triggered once since the hiccup earlier in the year.

"Mama" she heard the two-year-old say as she climbed on the bed and snuggled against her.

Rubbing her eyes, she focused on her daughter's beaming smile and messy hair; she was her mother's daughter in every way possible.

"Happy birthday Tilly" she smiled as she held her daughter close and kissed her forehead. "Where's daddy?"

"Here," Peter said as he entered the room and handed her a mug of tea as she sat up.

"Thanks"

"I tried to distract her as long as I could but someone was getting impatient," he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, I think; it's been three years, and every year it gets a little easier, right?"

"Yeah, it does but that doesn't mean you can't take time out for yourself today"

"I know, besides we've got a joint party to get ready for"

"We do, can I get you anything to eat?"

"I'd love one of Roy's bacon rolls" she hinted.

"Coming right up; Tilly, want to come and see Grandpa Roy?"

"Mama," she said, staying snuggled against Carla.

Later that morning, they were at the community hall, the room decorated, Mia and Tilly running around after the balloons, and Carla and Michelle doing the finishing touches.

"Thank you, for agreeing to a joint party" Carla smiled at her friend.

"It makes a lot of sense as most of the people coming are joint friends and family"

"Still, I don't think I would've had the energy to have planned one alone" she yawned.

"You doing okay?" Michelle asked once the last of the set-up was complete.

"I'm exhausted and would love nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep but yeah, I'm doing okay; today is their special day" she answered, watching their daughters happily run around Peter and Tom, trying to hit them with the balloons in their hands.

"When's your next midwife appointment?"

"Monday, we need to go through the birth and discuss any possible complications, triggers..."

"Will you find out the sex?"

"I don't know, a part of us wants to know, especially if it's going to be a boy as we have nothing but, at the same time, we want it to be a surprise"

"You still have the envelope, don't you?" She asked, passing her a glass of water.

"In my bag"

"Never been tempted to open it?"

"Couple of times but... it has never really come up in conversation since"

"Tell me no if you don't want but what if I arrange a very small gender reveal for say next weekend? It'll give you time to get anything you need if it's a boy" Michelle suggested.

"Maybe" she answered as friends and family started to enter the room.

By mid-afternoon, the party was dying down, presents had been opened, cake and food had been eaten and it was just Michelle, Carla, Peter, Tom, Simon, and Abby left; whilst the girls were been entertained by Simon and Abby, Michelle and Carla had been ordered to sit down while the guys tidied up the rubbish.

"They're happy, aren't they?" Carla said, a hand rubbing her bump.

"They are; they know they're loved and don't want for anything. Plus they're hyped up on sugar..."

"True" she chuckled. "I just hope I can do the same for this little one"

"You will, you're the strongest person I know"

"I guess...I'm kinda worried about the labour, about triggering during it or afterwards; things have been going so well for the last eighteen months but I still expect to go back, you know?" She admitted.

"Are you worried about the appointment on Monday?"

"I'm generally worried about it all; until now I've been able to put it to the back of my mind and tell myself it's not until July or it's months away but now it's so close, I can't ignore it"

"Have you told Peter how you're feeling?"

"No, after his relapse, I didn't want to put any pressure on him; I know I'm probably just overthinking it all but I don't want to be thrown off if I haven't considered every possibility, does that make sense?" She asked, looking at Michelle.

"It does, in a way; as you said, you've come so far in the last eighteen months, with no triggers or anxiety. The fact you are thinking about what could happen, shows you're preparing for what could come; it shows that you are stronger than you thought you were, physically and mentally. If this had been eighteen months ago, then it might be a different conversation but you've acknowledged you have concerns and worries and you're trying to deal with it in the way you know how"

"So I'm not been stupid then?!"

"Not in the slightest; considering what happened two years ago in that labour room, it's only natural to have these feelings. I would say talk to Peter though, don't let him find out about this in the consultation room on Monday"

"I will" she nodded. "How's it feel to have a one-year-old again?"

"Scary; doesn't seem five minutes since I found out I was pregnant let alone her first birthday. I wouldn't be without her though; the lads are grown up with their own lives but Mia, and Tom, make me a better person. I didn't realise how much I'd changed with Steve and Robert; I know everything that's happened was bound to change me but I feel...truly happy and settled for the first time in a long time"

"I haven't seen you this happy in a long time" she agreed, "I feel very lucky to have got to know you all them years ago; I don't know where either of us would be now if we hadn't met"

"Me neither but I know our friendship will never change" Michell smiled, taking Carla's hand and squeezing it.