Back to normality?

Chapter 48

The next morning, with Peter at work again, Carla was sat on the sofa, Matilda on her lap asleep; next to her was Michelle and in the armchair was Scott, ready to listen to what Carla needed to say. Not sure where to start, Carla bit her lip and avoided eye contact, choosing to look down at her daughter; with Michelle's hand on her back, encouraging her, she sighed and finally looked up at Scott.

"I've had your results back and your levels are within an acceptable range" Scott said, breaking the silence.

"Why do I feel like this then?"

"Could be a number of possibilities; a touch of a viral infection, overdoing it. The important thing is it's not your medication that's a problem; have you been feeling more tired than usual lately?"

"All the time, no matter how much I sleep" she answered.

"Your doctor can look into that but I'm more concerned about your mental wellbeing; how long have you been feeling like this?"

"It's been building for about a week, started a couple of days before Christmas"

"Any triggers or panic attacks?"

"Both" she nodded.

"Okay, talk me through how it started"

"I felt anxious when we took Tilly to see Santa but Peter got me through it; it started from there"

"But nothing full blown at that point?"

"No"

"That came Christmas Day" Michelle said.

"What happened?"

Seeing Carla was hesitant to answer, Michelle squeezed her hand; when Carla nodded, she continued.

"I got a call around about eight, that morning saying Carla was hysterical, in tears about not been there when Matilda woke, etc; we talked and she seemed fine for the rest of the day"

"But she wasnt?"

"Seems she thought it would be better for everyone if she pretended to be fine until she couldn't, didn't you?"

Carla nodded, feeling embarrassed.

"I'd gone by that point but Peter called me back around eight, nine that evening; said she'd had a nightmare and wouldn't let him near her."

"Okay, can you remember what the dream was about?" He asked Carla.

"Episode" she whispered.

"Okay, we can come back to it; what happened next?"

"I took her out, away from everyone else, to the Bistro; I was hoping to get her to open up and she did, but it took a while" Michelle continued.

"I tried to drink" she whispered, admitting the truth.

"Did you actually drink any alcohol?" He asked.

"Michelle stopped me"

"Okay, why did you want to do that?"

"To forget, go back to the old me"

"Carla, I need you to look at me" he said, softly, watching as Carla focused on her daughter until she looked at him. "I need you to tell me the truth now, do you think you're having another episode or hallucinations or any of what you had before?"

"I'm so tired Scott" she answered, avoiding his question.

"Are you hearing voices?"

"No"

"Okay, do you feel anxious?"

She nodded.

"About anything in particular?"