Back to normality?

Chapter 36

A month later and it was now July 5th 2020; Matilda was a month old and it was year to the day since Carla had been released from the unit; over the last three weeks, they had got a routine down between them. Michelle would babysit once a week, sometimes more than once, so Carla could have some alone time with Peter; and the paperwork had been finalised and they were now joint partners in the Bistro.

On that particular Sunday morning, Carla had awoken with a start, not to the sounds of her daughters cries, but due to an unsettling dream; taking a couple of deep breaths, she felt a familiar feeling brewing, one that hadn't appeared in weeks. Grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen, she sat up to the table and sipped it, hoping to take the edge off the anxiety she was experiencing as she waited for her medications to kick in; hearing her daughter whimper from the nursery, she quickly went and lifted her into her arms, gently rocking her as she sat in the chair in the corner of the room.

"Are you hungry Tilly?" She asked, lifting her pyjama top.

When Matilda wouldn't feed, and after a nappy change, her cries intensified; pacing the room, she settled her against her shoulder and patted her back.

"Come on sweetheart, please stop crying" she pleaded. "What's wrong? You're not hungry or wet; you don't  feel warm"

Feeling the tears brimming in her eyes, she fought against the panic attack as she backed herself into the corner of the room; having heard his daughters intense cries, Peter had awoken and found Carla in the middle of breaking down.

"Car...can I take Tilly?" Peter asked gently, standing in front of her but careful not to touch or scare her.

"She won't stop; why won't she stop?" She cried.

"She's probably picking up on your anxieties; did you have a bad dream?" He asked.

"I..." she nodded, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Why don't I try and settle her and then we can work on helping you?" He suggested.

"I tried feeding her and changing her and walking round, nothing's working" she said, handing Matilda over, watching as her daughter instantly calmed down. "Why wouldn't she do that for me?"

"Oh love, come here" he said, holding his arm out for her to snuggle into him. "She was picking up on your panic attack; that was the first one in a while, eh?"

She nodded as his fingers ran through her hair.

"Come on, let's settle Tilly in the moses basket and we can sit and cuddle for a bit, try your breathing techniques?"

Staying snuggled against him, he settled their daughter in the moses basket next to their double bed before sitting in front of her, cross legged as he took her hands.

"Take a deep breath, you're at home with your family and you're okay; try not to think about whatever unsettled you"

"Sorry" she whispered, wiping her eyes.

"Ssh, its okay; what happened when you woke up?"

"I dreamt you were gonna take Tilly away from me"

"Why would I do that love?"

"I don't know"

"What can I do to help you?"

"Michelle?"

"It's still early but I can try" he said, reaching for his phone and clicking her number, eventually getting a reply. "Hi Chell, sorry for waking you so early, Carla needs you, it's not a good day. Okay"

Hanging up, he placed the phone on the bed before looking back at her.

"She'll be five minutes, can I hold you?"