Back to normality?

Chapter 81

When Carla's eyes finally fluttered open and focused on the clock, it was showing as just gone six-thirty that evening; she was hungry, sore and her breasts were aching with the milk needing to be pumped. Padding out of the bedroom, she found Peter on the sofa, holding their daughter as he tried to soothe her whimpers; she smiled and sat next to him, gesturing to hand her over. Within seconds, she was settled and happily eating; Carla traced a finger gently over her tiny hand before looking up at her husband.

"You're looking a little brighter" he observed.

"Sorry I slept so long, you should've woke me"

"You were so peaceful for the first time in two weeks, I didn't want to disturb you; we've just been having cuddles,"

"Has Chelle brought the food yet?"

"On her way over now with Tilly; how are you feeling?" He asked, stroking her hair.

"Okay, I feel safe here," she admitted.

"You'll always be safe with me, regardless of where you are; do you feel less anxious?"

"Yeah, maybe a 3"

"That's good, and I meant what I said at the hospital; you can stay in this bubble as long as you need, as long as you keep talking to me."

"I can't explain it, but I feel like, like if I'm in here in our flat, then I'm in control of everything. If I go out, there's no control, and I'll start thinking what if or maybe if; I wanna take control and see people on my terms, does that sound selfish of me?"

"Of course, it doesn't; at the end of the day, you and your mental health and well-being come first; if you feel like staying inside for a while and only seeing Michelle, then that's fine. Obviously, we'll have to go to the check-ups but we can go back to basics and take it a day at a time"

"I don't want to go back so much I'm reliant on you and Chelle to get me through the day but...I don't know what else I can do, not without going back on the meds. I'm not having any symptoms, I don't think but it's like I'm out of sorts"

"Love, you spent the whole pregnancy staying strong and positive; yes you had a little anxiety when I relapsed but you got through it without the need for meds or therapy. That in itself is already a win in my book and if I'm honest, I would take a guess Scott would say the same; you know what he said. There is a specific note in your records with him that although you've been discharged, you can request an appointment with him to see what he thinks; we can do that anytime if you think it will be beneficial"

"Maybe" she answered, winding the newborn as the door opened, and in flew Tilly followed by Michelle.

"Hi darling" Carla smiled as her eldest climbed onto Peter's lap. "Did you have fun with MiMi?"

"Cake" she beamed.

"We bring dinner from the Bistro, and cake made by the little 'uns, with my help of course," Michelle said, placing the cartons on the counter.

"Thank you, I can't wait to try some; what do you say to auntie Michelle for looking after you?" She asked the toddler.

"Ta"

"You are very welcome; do I get cuddles with the little one before I go?"

"All yours, you can even change her if you want" she winked, fixing her top after handing her over, knowing her daughter had just filled her nappy.

"Lucky me, eh?" She said, going through to the nursery.

Chuckling, Peter set Tilly on the floor to play before he and Carla sat up at the table with their dinner; given how hungry she was, it was no surprise she'd finished long before Peter.