Back to normality?

Chapter 91

Heading back inside, they made some coffees before sitting back at the table; the small talk she had with Emily had helped to spur her on with making plans.

"I just wanted to say thank you, for making this happen; this place is special and I'm grateful I have the chance to have somewhere to escape to. I know it belongs to all of us though so I want us all to agree to things" she said, voicing her thoughts.

"Like what?" Michelle asked.

"Peter suggested turning one of the spare rooms into a kind of sanctuary for me; somewhere I can escape to and reflect or get out my emotions and frustrations"

"That sounds like a good idea" Michelle agreed as Tom nodded. "We decided to buy this place so you would have somewhere to escape to; I've already spoken to Tom and we'd already agreed that whatever you wanted to do here, we would support you. All we want is a bedroom, and Mia and Tilly could share a room; anything else is entirely up to you. More than likely, you will be spending far more time here than we will..."

"But it's not just mine, it belongs to all of us" she protested.

"Love, Michelle and I have already talked about it and yes, it belongs to all of us but primarily, especially at the minute, this is your safety net" Peter explained, taking her hand. "How about we just enjoy the weekend and take it from there?"

"Okay," she whispered, making her way back to the sofa.

She sat and watched as her youngest slept in the rocker and her eldest played with Mia; she was feeling so positive and now she was deflated.

"Hey, fancy a walk?" Michelle asked, appearing on the arm of the sofa.

Nodding, they grabbed their jackets and phones and headed outside; Michelle linked her arm to Carla's as they walked a familiar path.

"Talk to me," she said.

"I'm fine"

"No, you're not; you've gone quiet and upset. Doing this wasn't meant to upset or trigger you; it was meant to help navigate your way through it"

"It doesn't matter"

"It does, you seemed to perk up after talking to Emily and then we talk and this happens; come on Car, what's wrong?"

"I'm gonna sound really ungrateful and I don't mean it to but, I don't want the cabin to be all about me; having one room as somewhere to escape to is one thing but the rest of it should be a joint decision. I want, I need, to move forward and I can't do that if I know you guys are tiptoeing around me, waiting for me to trigger or break down" she vented.

"Okay"

"I'm trying so hard to keep a lid on the anxiety and to stay positive but I'm exhausted Chelle" she blurted out, stopping from walking to look at her friend.

"Oh, darling" she sighed, pulling her in for a hug. "No one is expecting you to be back to your usual self overnight but equally, we don't want to see you struggling; Peter and I, we're trying not to take over but when you do certain things or say certain things, we just want to protect you"

"I don't wanna feel like this anymore" she whispered, letting the tears fall.

"I know you don't; look at me," she said, pulling back slightly so Carla could look at her. "We are so proud of how you've handled today; all this, coming here, was your idea. It's been a long few weeks, especially this week and I think, you need to take a step back and go back to basics again; I think you know deep down, you're trying to push yourself to do too much too soon and it's overwhelming you"

Carla nodded as Michelle pulled her back into a comforting hug; when she was ready, they headed back to the cabin where she lay down in the bed in what was now their master bedroom with the bear firmly in her arms.