Back to normality?

Chapter 10

As the week went on, more and more conversations came up; some calm and others emotional. On a couple of occasions, Peter had persuaded her to take her anxiety medication to ensure she got a decent amount of sleep; her mood swings weren't something to be overly concerned about but he would be lying if he wasn't a little worried. By the time they'd arrived back home on Sunday evening, Carla was ready for some alone time; sending Peter to see his dad and Simon, she sat on the bench outside Audrey's Salon and took a deep breath; she knew her anxiety had been building up all week and as much as she tried to ignore it, it wasn't going away. Running her fingers through her hair, she resisted the urge to yell out her frustrations; so lost in her thoughts, she hadn't realised Michelle had sat next to her.

"Need a friend?" She said, hugging her.

"Did Peter send you?"

"He was a little concerned; said you needed alone time and I guess after everything that's happened, he was worried"

"I'm not going to do anything stupid; all the talking we've done this week has brought back some painful memories. Stuff that I'd locked away and I knew getting back with him would reopen old wounds but I didn't expect it to hit all in one go"

"When do you see Scott?"

"In the morning; he gave Peter some breathing exercises to do over the phone but I needed time for me. I love him Michelle and I really don't want this to come between us but I need him to trust me when I say I need alone time"

"He does; that's why he didn't follow you. I wasn't intending to come over; I was just gonna call you tonight but I was on a break and saw you get home."

"I'm glad you did come over though; just having you hold me helps" she smiled.

"Don't push him away; if you need him to back off a little, tell him. As long as you're taking your medication and you keep your phone on you, he'll understand; there's gonna come a time when he will have to leave you for more than five minutes"

"I just feel like he's suffocating me at times; I know we've only been back together officially for a month or so but since that kiss at New Year, we've been getting on so much better. When I thought Tyler had shot him, I thought I'd lost him for good and for that split second, it hurt like hell; I need him Michelle, so much that it hurts and I know it's not who I am, who I ever was. I hate how clingy and emotional I am but I don't know what to do..." she said, trying to find the words to explain her feelings.

"So go home and tell him that; just sit down and talk before you see Scott tomorrow. Don't even contemplate moving in together or babies before you're both honest with each other"

"This feels nice" she said, taking a deep breath as she relaxed into Michelle's arms.

'Come on, I'll walk you back to Roy's"

Linking arms, they headed back to the cafe where, once Michelle had left, Carla said a quick hello to Roy who was cleaning up and heading up to the flat; she found Peter in the bedroom, unpacking their belongings.

"Hey" she said, leaning against the door frame as she watched him.

"Feel better?" He asked, looking at her.

"Can we talk?"

"Course"

As they sat on the end of the bed, he took her hand.

"I know our time away wasn't perfect and I'm sorry if you thought I was been overbearing; I was concerned that if you didn't talk, it would lead back to another episode" he said, taking the first step.

"While I'm taking the medication, I shouldn't have another full blown episode; yes, I have bad days where I feel down and upset, a cow even but it doesn't mean I'm relapsing. Peter, I love you and I love what we have and whilst I've forgiven you for everything that's happened in the past, it doesn't mean that the memories didn't come back when we were talking; if I say I need time to myself, I need you to trust me. I don't need you going back to been my carer..."

"I didn't mean to make you feel like that"

"I know you didn't; I don't want my mental health issues to come between us. I want us to be able to plan a future; I could've lost you when Tyler shot you, we didn't know it was a paint gun and that's when I realised those feelings were still there"

"Love, we will see what the future holds but we'll face it together" he said, taking her hand. "I need you to keep talking to me though"

"Thank you for my break, even if it didn't go to plan"

"We still had some good times though, didn't we?"

She nodded and yawned, leaning against him.

"Did you take your meds?"

She nodded again.

"Why don't you have a shower and grab an early night? We have an early appointment with Scott"

"Thanks"

With an early night after a busy day, Carla easily fell asleep and didn't wake until their alarm sounded the next morning.