"Olivia, totoo ba 'yon?"
"M-Ma..." I whisper, I suddely feel numb and lahat ng naririnig kong ingay sa paligid ay tila naglaho ng parang bula, tanging paghinga ni mama mula sa kabilang linya ang nananaig sa aking buong sistema.
"Olivia, anak sagutin mo ako totoo ba 'yon?" I purse my lips and try my best to hold my tears but my vision easily get blueberry because of my tears.
"M-mom," hindi ko magawang magsalita ng maayos, at sagutin ang tanong ni ma'am, tila parang may bumabara sa aking lalalmunan habang sobrang bigat ng aking pakiramdam.
Tumulo ang luha ko kasabay ng pagtulo ng basa kong buhok sa aking braso at kamay, napayuko ako at hindi ko magawang magsalita. "Olivia, totoo ba na nagtatrabaho ka d'yan bilang maid a-anak?" I tremble in pain when mom's voice started to crack from the other line.
She's crying, umiling ako at tinakpan ang aking bibig gamit ang likod ng aking palad.
"Olivia, anak sagutin mo naman si Mommy, what happened to you anak?" she asks and all I could feel is pain, pain for making my life miserable and making my mom cry.
I bite my lower lip so hard before I chin up, wipe my tears and take a deep breath, "Ahm... mom, ganito k-kasi... I failed," bumuhos lalo ang aking luha at nanghihina akong tinakpan ang aking mukha gamit ang kaliwa kong kamay.
I can't take this, I wish that this is just a dream, "I failed Mom, I failed, your daughter failed Mom, I'm sorry, sorry," narinig ko ang pagsinghap ni Mommy mula sa kabilang linya, she's crying with me.
This is my fault.
"Olivia," she called my name filled with longing, "Mom, my m-money got robbed a few months after I arrived here in N-New York Mom, I lie, wala akong business Mom, h-hindi ko po na-natupad yung pangarap k-ko d-dito sa N-New Y-York Mom." I started having a hard time to breath because I was crying so hard, and sobbing so loud.
"Mom, everything that I've said was a l-lie, m-my shop, it was a lie, everything about me was a lie. I'm sorry Mom, I'm sorry, sorry I failed you, sorry Mom," hindi sumasagot si Mommy, but I could hear her cry so hard from the other line, which breaks me even more.
"I'm sorry Mom," I whsiper and hit my chest, trying to kill the pain that stabing me inside my chest.
"Bakit h-hi-hindi mo sinabi kay Mommy?" hirap na sambit ni Mom, "Why Olivia?" I cover my face and trembled.
I never expected that this day would come, bakit ganito ka sakit?
I wanna die.
Agian, I wipe my tears and smile, "I've been working as a maid for two years already Mom, naglilinis po ako ng mga kwarto, banyo, suka ng ibang tao at marami pang iba, I even work as a mascot for the night pero last month lang natanggal po ako, pero, pero m-may b-bago na akong h-hotel na pinapasukan Mom, ok l-lang n-naman ako dito," I was breathlessly making the fool out of me.
Nahuli na nga ako pero mapride pa 'rin ako, what the heck is wrong with you Olivia?!
"Are you tired?" my world just stop with that quastion, am I?
"Olivia, a-anak, a-are y-you t-tired anak?" bakas ang sakit sa boses ni Mom at tagos sa akin ang sakit na iyon. Yes, I'm so tired, pagod na ako Mom. gusto kong sabihin iyon pero hindi pwedi.
"No, mom, I'm f-fine here," parang binibiyak sa dalawa ang aking puso habang sinusubukan ko pa 'ring magsinungaling kay Mom kahit nahuli na niya ako.
"Olivia anak, go home please" umiling ako habang bumubuhos lalo ang luha ko.
"M-mom," my voice was shuttering, fucking painful.
