Falling in Reverse (GxG, Lesbian)

Ch.39 Manipulator

Illiana POV

It's already one in the morning and my mind is still active. Tomorrow is the big day, and even though we already have a plan, I still can't help to not feel afraid. We're going to attack the most influential crime organization in the U.S right now.

I also keep on thinking about the days where dad still cares for me. He's a criminal and he killed a lot of people, but I felt that he loved me for real. Not until I fell in love with Sky and I started messing up my tasks. I hate him so much for killing mom, and for using me to kill innocent people.

I'm in deep thought when I heard a knock. I walked towards the door and then I asked who is it. I realized that it's Carin when she knocked three times with a pattern.

"Why aren't you still asleep?" I asked curiously.

"I could ask you the same thing," she said flatly before entering my room. I closed the door and then I followed her to the edge of my bed where she sat.

"I'm memorizing the plan in my head" I lied.

"You don't have to, we're there for you. We may all die, but I'll make sure that you won't be included in that" she assured me but it only made me sad.

"I don't want anyone to protect me. I want all of us to survive this, even though I'm sure that there's only a thin chance"

She pulled me to sit down beside her. Then she reached for my both hands. She has become more affectionate towards me these past few months. She's no longer the guarded Carin that I grew up with. Maybe because she's no longer working with dad.

"I like it when you're like this. It makes me at ease because it shows that you really care for me" I said with a sad smile.

"You know that I always care for you, it's just that my method is different" she explained.

"I know that you're afraid because you don't know what the outcome will be tomorrow. So, I came here now to remind you that in case we fail, do not hesitate to kill me to save yourself" she added.

She doesn't have to remind me because I will never forget that, but that doesn't mean that I will do what she says. Sky and I already have a plan and I will not change that.

"Honestly, you're the only person that I think can survive tomorrow aside from me." she chuckled upon hearing what I said but I can see on her face that she doesn't believe me.

"Like you, the person that I fear the most is your dad." I gave her a confused look.

"I know that dad is strong, but if we can both fight him then there's no way that he can defeat us" I argued but she shook her head.

"It's not about his strength, it's about the respect that I have for him. I may be against him, but he's also the one that raised me, and the respect is still there" she explained.

I nodded because I understand what she's trying to say. She cannot hate dad completely because she didn't lose her mom. Until now I don't know the real reason how she ended up working with dad.

"I can't help but think that I'm lucky that you fell in love with me. Otherwise, you will not betray dad for me" I said amused.

She smiled at me. "I will leave the death of your dad with your hands, and that is my way of paying respect to him for raising me. I hope you'll understand that"

I nodded. Honestly, I'm not sure if I can defeat dad alone, but I cannot force her to do what she doesn't want to do now. I can just ask Arvin or Migo to help me.

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked after a moment.

"Sure, what is it?" I replied hastily.

"Can I kiss and hug you? In case this will be the last time that we will be together" she tried her best to sound cool, but I can see through her eyes that she's sad.