Illiana's POV
She gently laid me down on my bed and positioned on top of me afterwards. She's gently stroking my cheeks and lips while gazing at me intently. Then she leaned closer to kiss me after a moment. Her lips are about to travel down to my breast when I spoke.
"I was wondering, did you really love me for real Carin?" she frowned by my sudden question. "I mean, when we're together in Russia"
"Why all these sudden questions now? That's not what I meant when I said that I need you" she said after clicking her tongue in annoyance.
She acknowledged my feelings towards her when I turned eighteen. Although she's still hesitant to accept me that time, she doesn't have a choice but to give in since we're always together and I am at the right age already.
"I know, but I feel like asking it now" I said honestly.
Her mood is ruined now because of it, so she changed her position and lied down beside me instead, her back on mine. She's always so distant, even if we're in the same place, I feel like there's always a wall separating us.
"It doesn't matter" she said after a while.
"You know that it does. If only you've been honest with your feelings from the beginning" I argued softly.
"If I've been honest, we wouldn't be here together. I'm long gone" she replied after releasing a heavy sigh.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused, although I feel like it has something to do with her relationship with my dad.
"What? You already forgot that you wanted to elope with me when you turned nineteen?" she said chuckling.
"Oh! yeah I remember that" I simply said.
I am so in love with her that I told her that I just want to elope with her and live a normal life. I've been robbed from my youth because I have to train my ass to be the best among the Triad, and to avenge my mom.
I have proposed a plan to her many times on how are we going to escape, but she always rejects it. I always feel bad whenever she does that, until I got used to it and eventually stopped talking about it. I was too young back then to understand or even ask her reasons for doing that.
Now that I think about it, if we eloped and dad finds out. We will be hunted forever, and there's no way that we will live peacefully together. Dad will kill her the instant we are found for betraying him, and I will be left alone without her guidance.
I moved closer and hugged her from behind. I've been really selfish. She chose to be loyal with my father and break her heart so she can always be with me, rather than risking it all with the very small chance that we have of escaping.
"Thank you, and I'm sorry that I'm too selfish back then"
"You don't have to be sorry because I am selfish too. I'm part of the reason why you're a sinner, and a criminal right now. You could have been a better person if I agreed to elope with you" she explained while caressing my arms that's on her waist.
"That's fine because I love you Carin, you know that."
"But you're no longer in love with me" she continued for me.
My tears started to build up when I sensed the sadness on her voice. This is the first time that we are being completely honest with each other's feelings. We broke up a long time ago, but it feels like right now is the real one.
"I'm sorry because I can no longer do this kind of thing with you" I said as my tears started to fall.
It's been years since the last time that she saw me cry. She never likes it when I cry because for her, it's an indication that I am still weak. She didn't respond, but her grasp on my arms got tighter.
YOU ARE READING
Falling in Reverse (GxG, Lesbian)
Romance"You're leaving now because you can't kill me! You don't have the guts because you're in love with me" I said in anger as I try to sit up. My whole body is so weak right now. She stopped from walking away to face me. There's no denying now that she...
