Falling in Reverse (GxG, Lesbian)

Ch41. Before you go

Carin's POV

I decided to talk to Reina right after we finished Helena's funeral. I was expecting her to attend the service but she didn't. Since they are lovers, she's probably scared right now and hiding because she knows about Helena's situation

I decided to pay her a visit on her farm in Lancaster but the gate of the entrance was locked with thick anchor chains. It seems that she already abandoned the farm and fled the country so I didn't bother trying to check the farm's premises.

I went straight to the gym to exercise when I returned to the headquarters. I've been very active in training because it is the only outlet where I can release the anger and guilt that I am feeling ever since I killed Helena.

Argus on the other hand started to act differently after the funeral. He became disoriented and moody, he also doubled Illiana's bodyguards as if the LAPD will do anything to her. We're both dealing with the loss of Helena differently but he's worse.

He's really affected and I honestly find it stupid because he's the reason behind it. He could have just confined Helena in the mansion, but his ego cannot accept that his competition with Helena's heart was a woman.

I keep on telling the same thing to myself. I could have prevented the kill if I want to but I'm too afraid of the consequences of betraying Argus' trust.

I'd been exercising for almost an hour when I noticed that Illiana is watching me. She's sitting on the floor while her back leaning on the wall.

"It's already dinner time," I said without glancing at her.

"I don't want to eat," she said sadly. She lost a bit of weight because she's not eating well the past few days.

"Your mom is not coming back, so better man up," I said with my usual cold tone that I use whenever I talk to her.

"I know, you don't have to remind me," she said with a cracked voice.

I'm already dealing with my pain and I don't want her to add more to it. I am avoiding her as much as possible and I only talk to her unless it's necessary.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" I asked after a moment.

She looks determined to avenge Helena when we spoke the night of her death, but she returned to being a coward the following day. Good thing that I didn't tell Argus about it yet.

"What am I supposed to do?" she asked confused.

I sighed in annoyance before returning the katana to its bag. I walked closer to her afterwards.

"It seems like you're just going to let the police live in peace after killing your mom" I explained after sitting beside her.

"Why don't we report them to their superiors?" she suggested but I frowned at her because that's not what I'm expecting her to say.

"Mom is innocent and she got nothing to do with the Triad, so the officers that are involved should be punished" she added when I didn't respond to her suggestion.

"The involved are members of SWAT's Elite team, and two of them are children of the Chief of Police here in L.A., so say goodbye to your wish of their superior punishing them" I stood up because I am starting to get angry again. Her cowardice is making her think of stupid things.

"Your mom's death is their mistake and they will just live their life as if nothing happened, and you can't do anything about it because you're a coward" I'm about to walk away when she grasped my hand.

I feel bad that I have to lie about Helena's death but I have to fuel her anger for her to be motivated to learn how to fight because she'll need that in the future.