Steal My Girl (One Last Time #2)

Erased

Chapter Twenty Nine
Erased |Day Three In Hospital|

Would you like an list of EVERYTHING Melody forgot and remembered? I got rid of some stuff that she forgot when Talia made the list because she already remembered it in her dreams, talks and whatnot. And there are small things that are significant but I don't think would make sense if the nurse saw it. Or you because like- its in code that only I would understand. (I will make it legible if you want the list)

Just comment if you'd like to see a visual. It might help if your unclear about what Mel forgot and remembers. I'll have the chapters put in as well. In case you want to freshen your memory by rereading them (I'm only putting in Walls Up Chapters tho).

I tried my best to explain everything she remembers in this chapter.

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I rake my brain for other memories other then the ones I already remember. Greg- the male nurse- photocopied the table Talia made, giving me a pencil so I can cross off all the ones I've completed.

FORGOTTEN
~ Entire 24 Hour Trip (camping)
~ Carnival
~ 1B Retreat
~ Theatre + Café

Before Conrad left, he said the rest of that list he wants to recreate again. He said that the "theatre + cafe" memory he wants to talk to me about once I'm out the hospital. I have no idea what it's about, but I know by the way he brought it up it's going to make me mad.

I've thought about each one, trying to get flashes of broken memories throughout the night but nothing appears. It's four am and I have a lot jammed in my head in these three days I've been in the hospital.

My head spins in the darkness, I can't breathe right. My body trembles with the memories of my past. The doctors say I'll be emotionally unstable if I remember too much at one time. But I can't help my dreams. What Conrad tells me. What my mind makes me remember with trigger words.

But I remember too much- I remember everything in too much detail.

I remember my graduation, I remember Alex and Conrad planned to ruin my relationship with Kyle. Embarrass me in front of the entire student body.

I yelled, screamed and threw my pillow at the Greg when I remembered at two am, when he woke me up and told me to have dinner as I was just finished with the nightmare and recovering from it in awaken tears.

All my rage, all my memories of Kyle, Alex, Stella and Conrad flooding my mind at that time. Everything they did coming back. Alex and Stella mocking me, telling me insults. Kyle, using me, telling me he loved me and sleeping with Alex right under my nose. I couldn't keep it in.

I wipe my lips, my hands clenching under the blanket. Scolding myself for being so foolish for kissing Conrad- letting that kiss get further that it shouldn't have.

It shouldn't have even happened.

My diary.
Dinner with Kyle's family.
The masquerade dance.
My 'date' with Conrad.
My stupidity when I got drunk.
Conrad lending me his jersey.

That is everything I already remember. But that's was before Christmas. There are still black holes in my brain with memories I can't remember on my own.

Thirteen eleven.
My date with Kyle.
My trip with Kyle.

I can somewhat fill the gaps with dates of when it happened from what my phone calendar tells me. The carnival happened before thirteen eleven. The camping trip before the carnival. The 1B retreat after my date with Kyle at the cinema, and after that, my trip with Kyle.

It ended with Kyle because of Alex, Alex wouldn't have done that if it wasn't for Conrad stealing my diary.

It's always Conrad. He's the one who fucked up my life. Made everyday a constant worry. He took my diary- publicised it. He let everyone know things about me that even people closest to me don't know.

And then there's the other side of Conrad Jennings. His lips, hair, cheeks and smile seducing my thoughts into positive ones. Telling me just one kiss, just one kiss and I'll "let go".

I can't I can't I can't I fucking can't.

It's five am now, one hour has passed from the last time I checked, I've been in and out of consciousness for seven hours after Conrad left and put me to bed yesterday at ten and told me he'll be back tomorrow (now today) after his ten am lecture.

I smiled, kissed his neck and watched him leave. Then four hours later I'm throwing a pillow at Greg, sending my hate for Conrad with it as I remember all the things he did to me.

He stole my first kiss. People don't steal first kisses anymore. That only happens in books. In stupid cliché fucked up books. People ask for kisses, take them romantically under the downpour of rain.

You certainly don't grab someone's hand as they walk away, twirling them around and smashing your lips on theirs. You defiantly don't grab them by the front of their dress, make their hands touch your cheek and hold their waist.

You don't fucking assume that they're walking away so you can kiss them like in those over-erotic cliché movies. This isn't a fucking movie, Conrad.

My mind collapses with exhaustion, my eye burns under my eyelids, tears slipping out.

I relax my mind, calm the anger in the pit of my stomach. Tell myself it's in the past, it's in the past. Until I realise it is. Kyle isn't coming back, I'm never going to see Alex or Stella again. And as for Jack, I'm going to punch that fucking bastard the moment I get out of this hospital.

But Conrad. He's always going to be there. In my dreams, in my memories when they all come back. His touch is always going to be trapped within my skin, his taste always in my mouth and his voice in my head, replaying in my mind like a broken record.

Conrad Conrad Conrad.

I push the blanket off me, running two hands down my legs as far as I can go without straining. My hair falls down from behind my ear, there's a bathroom connected to this room I haven't used.

But I will now. I will see how I look for the first time in three days.

---END OF CHAPTER TWENTY NINE---

This is a two chapter update because, like, this chapter sucks.
- Natty