Her Narcissist

"Crazy Over You"

laja

Man, why niggas be buggin?" I mumble, slowly turning over in bed and picking up my cracked iPhone. "Damn phone blowing up. Fucking five o'clock in the morning. Nigga go get a job- a fucking occupation. Get some sleep. Get sumin to do. Get off my strap."

I peep who the messages are from and keep myself from being too loud as I cuss.

Ian tryna wake nobody up.

I call my mother, doing what I usually do when I can't handle the problems life has dealt me. She's usually up at this time anyways, still binge watching old reruns. I pause as the automated voice tells me her number has been disconnected.

"Right," I say softly, closing my eyes tight. I place my phone on the night stand and hold myself, my hands cold against my warm upper body. I can feel the need to sob creep up, and the feeling of tears threatening to spill over.

My mother had been gone for a matter of months.

Died because of COVID. Like my father who followed soon after. It was still hard, seeing so much happiness in other people's lives. It was hard...straying from my usual way of things.

Realizing that there's a gaping void inside of me.

The lost memories. Not getting to see them grow old. It hurts. It fucking hurts to have them taken away from me. But I have to keep being strong. I never had a choice but to be that way. For now though, I'll decide to hold my pain inside and look at the messages my latest side chick has sent me.

ha😒#7: why u ain't text me back last night??

ha😒#7: why you hung up when I was about to cum?

ha😒#7: u told that bitch u be sneakin around wit that u like phone sex. yea, yeen know ik about dat huh? so why am I different? 🙂

ha😒#7: u not answering cause u laid up wit sum bitch huh? 😂😂

ha😒#7: laja mori latterson!!!☹️

I roll my eyes and sit up in my bed. Glancing over at some girl I met at the club, who's knocked the fuck out, I sigh. It's time to bring out the big guns.

Me: baby I'd never cheat on u. Yk shawties stay tryna set me up. I was ASLEEP. No FEMALE here. I been working hard...to get u the things u want💕💕

ha😒#7: ohhhh so u gotta nigga over? 😃

Me: ion got that way 😑😐

Me: go*

ha😒#7: oh, so who car is dis out front laja? 😇

"Fuuuck," I punch the bed. The shawty next to me startled awake. "What the- Where am I?" she mumbles, looking around and stretching. Her fat ass pulls the sheets up with her, squeezed in between her cheeks. She's butt naked, literally, and dried drool is on her face.

"You gotta go mamas. My shawty outside tripping," I shrug. I slip on my sweats from last night and only bother putting on a sports bra. I slip my phone into my pocket and throw my hair into a bun.

"What? You're Laja right? From the club?" she asks me in a dazed voice, getting my sheets out of her ass.

"Yeah. But you gotta go shawty. Ole girl might still gotta house key unless you wanna fight," I shrug.

Bam. Bam. Bam.

"Come out bitch! I wanna see youuu," Hoe #7 sung from outside my apartment door. "This bitch gon get me kicked out," I mumble.

Shawty from the club busy trying to get her life together while I close all the blinds. "Bitch I know you in there! And you trifling as fuck for lying to me, Laja! You- What- Bitch, I'll yell when I want to." I hear Hoe #7's voice starting to move away from my door; sounding like she's going across the hall.

"Crap," I sigh, starting to unlock the door.

She can not be getting into anymore fights with my neighbors. They all pretty chill, and I'm not tryna have any problems with them. "I drug yo ass the last time. This time, I'll throw you off ya balcony," I hear her shouting.

"Bitch come at me!" I hear somebody else yell.

I swing my door open as shawty from the club flies out my crib, damn near dropping her white mask that's stained with brown makeup. Hoe #7 flips around and shoots me a glare, too slow to catch my club shawty. My neighbor puts her braids in a back bun, her edges dried out. She's wearing a tank top and some booty shorts that say "S-ASS" on them. "Get ya hoe, Laja," she warns me, then slams her door in Hoe #7's face.

Me and Hoe #7 have a stare off, her arms crossed as she taps her foot on the hot pavement. I lean against my door and stare back hardly at her too.

After a few moments pass, I let a smile curl onto my lips, and look down a bit, letting my long lashes use their majestic power. That was one of the features a lot of girls had a love/hate relationship with me about. "You wanna come inside, mamas?"

"I fucking hate you Laja," she starts walking towards me, making me think she's coming inside, but she slaps me hard instead. I stumble back against the door as my cheek stings. "I thought I was the only one, Laja." Tears brim in her brown eyes, lined with black eyeliner and smoky eyeshadow. "You fucking hurt me. You know I got trust issues and you still hurt me."

"I'm sorry, ma-ma. Ian mean to," I shake my head, letting my expression fall a bit. "It's just when I'm drunk...I have no control over myself," I flutter my lashes a bit, "and after my parents dipped off of Earth...alcohol is the only thing that keeps me sane."

"But, Daddy, I told you if you need someone I'm here," she pulls on my shirt, looking up at me like a little kid. "You know I love you, and I'm always here for you. Why do you do these things?"

"I'm a bad person," I start to sniffle, feeling the guilt inside starting to eat away at me. I'm dead ass manipulating this girl...and I'm enjoying the power I hold over her. What the fuck? "That's probably why they died, huh?"

"No...Laja." Hoe #7 wrapped her arms around me and embraced me. I fake sobbed into her shoulder, trying to manage a tear or two.

I glare at the ground, squeezing my eyes shut.