Her Narcissist

"Helping Hand"

laja

I'm laying on my semi dry bed (Eileah helped me get the piss and spilled soda out of it) when Ana calls me. I look at the time then answer. I do owe her back a lot after crashing her party at her man's place and allowing her to help me clean up. She had given me her number earlier today but I didn't expect her to call me so soon.

"Hello?" I answer. My house is quiet. My TV was fucked and I didn't feel like finding something to watch on my phone.

"I'm prolly gonna get cussed out for this by Eileah, but come outside in like twenty minutes."

"I- Uh, ight," I say.

I hang up and throw on something quick. An old high school hoodie over my sports bra and some Champion sweats. I lay back down on my bed and let my phone charge, waiting for Ana to come by my apartment.

Awhile later, I hear loud knocks on my door. Fear immediately strikes through my body. What if it's North and her little friends again? My former hoes? I grab my phone and a knife under my pillow. I go to the door but look out the peephole to see Ana, with a bare face and a track suit on. Also, a pissed off expression. I look down at my phone and read the texts she sent me as I unlock my door.

Oh...she had been trying to wake me up.

"God, you irritate my fucking soul. C'mon, Laja," she rolls her eyes. I lock my door up behind me, although that obviously hadn't stopped anybody before, and head down the stairs behind Eileah's best friend.

We get into Chad's vehicle, and Ana pulls out before I have my seatbelt on. She starts driving out of the lot towards the edge of campus and I feel it's time to ask her what's really going on. So I do.

"Eileah probably doesn't want me to tell you this, but I feel like you're the perfect person to be there for her. She found out that her mother's dying today."

"Wow," I say, emphasizing the word and sliding a sorrowful expression onto my face. Inside, it's World War III: My parents are both dead because of the virus, should I try to let Eileah know that I can relate to parental death and grief? Do I really care about Eileah's feelings or am I only feeling this way because I know I should? I don't have much experience manipulating people with grief issues, therefore I don't know the right things to say to make Eileah feel better.

This is what I like to call good manipulating: saying things to help someone who isn't feeling so good, feel better. It's a common form of deception used by a lot of people, and we've all done it once or twice. Just this once, I feel grateful for my past with lying and deceiving, although I don't have experience in consolation. Hopefully I'll be able to use my words to make someone feel good instead of the opposite.

If only each emotion didn't feel so mechanical to me.

"Are we going to her place?" I ask Ana after awhile.

"No. We're going down to the hospital we were told her mom is at to make sure that she's there. They wouldn't tell me anything over the phone and it's no secret you...have your ways." Ana sighed, "What I'm trying to ask you to do is come with me and pretend that you're Eileah's relative or her mother's daughter so that I can see if her mother is even there."

"Why not have Eileah do it herself?" I ask, trying not to feel the sting of Ana low key calling me a liar.

"I- She's already feeling a lot right now. The least I can do as her bestie is to make sure her father isn't tricking her. I don't trust that man and Eileah shouldn't either. He's put her through hell, and I'll leave it at that."

I nod along. "What, you thought if you went down there yourself they wouldn't believe you were related to Eileah's mom because you're not black?"

Ana flushed in awkwardness. "No...well, yeah plus I'm not a good liar."