Her Narcissist

"Blue Flames"

laja

I grabbed the gun I found in Chad's bedroom off the ground and kicked North in the head. Our struggle had ended and now I finally had the weapon of power. I quickly stood up, glancing around quickly to make sure Eileah wouldn't be in the way of my aim.

Eileah...where did she go?

Suddenly, North lunged towards me and grabbed the weapon out of my hand. I hit the ground hard and prepared myself to let go from this world.

This is truly the end.

She aimed the gun for my chest, right where my heart was. I felt all emotions leave me as I realized that this was what it is. This was going to be the end of Laja Latterson.

"I can't do it," North grunted, throwing the gun down by my head as I stared up at her with a resigned expression. "I just hope the karma you deserve bites you back in the worst way, Laja." She shook her head, her ponytail swishing.

Why in this moment, all I could think of was "sis weave not stiff"?

I get out of my head and bring myself back to the present. "I apologize for everything that I've done to you-

"Ain't no words for the trust issues, the invalidated emotions, and the broken hearts that you've given us. Just know your time will come too, Laja. One way or another." I watched North walk away, genuinely thinking to myself: Have I really hurt these girls so bad mentally that this has all came to this?

I stare at the gun by my side. I've been numb before, I've been filled with fits of rage. I've felt like the entire world loves me and hates me all the same, at some points. I've felt like the super hero and the villain for so long that I never saw the wrong in my ways. But maybe, I've been my enemy all along.

I pick up the gun, slowly standing up. I won't be weak in this moment. I won't give into my suicidal feelings, I think strongly, but damn do I wish I could right my wrongs for these hurt women and take myself down with those horrible deeds.

I suck in a deep breath and look around the vacated place. I've ruined a party, caused people to be injured, and probably lost my only chance of hope and salvation with Eileah. Wreckage and deceit seem to always follow me around like a lost puppy. I guess Eileah was right after all...that I was good with my words. But my words seem to have a bad spell cast over them. Affecting everyone too close to me.

I stared off across the backyard, my mind replaying the way I helped Eileah over the fence...and also the way that she still came back for me, injured and all.

No one's here now. They never were before. And they never should be. This is what happens when I give into my selfish, twisted desires. And this is what happens when a fucked up person tries to love.

I make it away from Chad's before the cops and the ambulances get there. I have only one missed call from Eileah, but that's still something to hope for. But then again, she could be calling to yell at me. She deserves to be furious with me, I told her I wouldn't drag her into any of this and I still somehow did.

I'm driving in my beat up Hummer. The windows are busted out, my seats scratched up, my radio taken out, my tires filled with pebbles, and my trunk area filled with the stench of hot piss.

I feel shaken up inside but all the same broken.

I can't chance things with Eileah. What if one of my old hoes try to attack her again? Or what if I just simply do something to her...what if I inevitably turn her into one of them?

At least you still remember her name, some part of me thought sarcastically.

I sighed at my own self.