Her Narcissist

"The Anion to Her Cation"

laja

I could tell babygirl was horny as shit. And I was enjoying playing around with her. "You wanna take this to the bathroom?" I ask, a smirk on my lips.

"Laja, chill," Eileah blushed.

My phone buzzed on my ass. I slid it out and away from Eileah's view like a pro. It was a text from
Hoe #5, letting me know she was free tonight. She was thick as hell, pretty short, and had gorgeous dark skin. I glanced at the time. I had done enough today, she'd have to wait. I sent back a poor excuse of a text and focused my attention on Eileah.

"Why I gotta chill?"

She tensed up for a moment. "Just...stop."

The air between us changed and I left it alone. She seemed to be a cool friend, but maybe didn't flirt as hard with hers as I tend to do with mine. Maybe I had overstepped her boundaries. Or maybe she just wants me to initiate something with her in a different way.

This is why you don't have friends, Laja.

"Mm," I agreed unintentionally to my thoughts, my breath soft against Eileah's neck.

"You always this touchy feely?" Eileah bounced up off my lap and glared at me. A few people looked up but mostly everyone was actively engaged in the close game between the two HBCU's. Crap, I hadn't even meant for my moan to sound that way.

Genuinely, bruh.

"I'm sorry. I realize you don't play like that," I shrug. "I'll lay off, my bad." I didn't really feel bad. I wasn't doing much of nothing. If she didn't want to play flirt with me, she could just say no, and we could keep our night pushing. I'd rather that than all she's doing right now. Can't stand when females be bitching.

"Nahh, but like, this," she waves her hand at me, "ain't cool. Ion even know you like that Laja." She glanced at the exit. "Matter of fact, ima go. Tell Delya I said she was great out on the court."

I tried to stop her but I realized my efforts were probably going to be in vain. "Fuck. So sensitive," I complained under my breath.

An announcer came out onto the court telling us it was half time. The crowd seemed to collectively stand and the arena buzzed with conversation and random yells. Soon, the smell of cooked pretzels and greasy pizza filled the air, leading everyone to head in the same direction towards the food stands.

Except for me.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and headed down the court to where Delya sat on the bench again, staring intently at a black towel in her lap.

"Hey," I said.

A guard immediately noticed me and approached us. "All good over here, Lacrosse?" I chuckled at her last name and Delya scowled. "Yeah, we good," she told the guard. "Damn. How many sports jokes have you received about that one?" I ask.

"Too many," she sighed heavily.

"What happened out on the court?"

"I froze. Been dealing with a lot of personal shit. I know I should have left that someplace else besides the court, but that shit was cutting deep into me, man." Delya rubbed her sweaty face with the towel and stood. "Where's your little friend? Eleanor, right?"

"Eileah," I correct her, bristling with mild annoyance. It's the girl's name, at least attempt to remember it. She's obviously head over heels for you, dumbo. I hate when people mispronounce people's names and shit and they see them all the time. Fuck? Why am I so irritated?

"Yeah. Her," Delya said, wiping the edges of her face. "She...she didn't feel well," I tell Delya. "But she told me to tell you that you were awesome out on the court and everything," I shrug.

"That's nice," Delya smiled a bit, but the action didn't meet her eyes. "I wonder if we're gonna drink tonight. After the game," she whispered. "I need a drink. A tall one."

"No you don't," I say to her sharply.

Her eyes were glazed over with pain and weariness. "Yeah. You're right." She looked far away and lost. I put my arm over her shoulder. "Let's bet this: if you guy's win, I'll buy you a margarita. If you lose, you get to buy me one and watch me sip on it."

"Sounds fair enough," she chuckled.

"What happened to you?" I ask. "To be this way?"

"What happened to you?" she looks over at me, her eyes searching my face. "What do you mean?" My eyes search the crowd, trying to think and avoid at the same time. "What makes you the way that you are, Laja?"

I remained silent.

"I've met people like you before."

"Like what?" I ask sharply.

"People cold in the heart."

I stop walking. "If that's what you think I am, that isn't the truth," I say, "I still feel like everyone else. Just not as much."

Delya dropped her inquisition. "My mother died. Leukemia," she then explained. "Last fall. It still hits me hard every once and awhile. Usually when I'm in high spirits. I try to smoke or drink my pain away," her voice cracks. "But I can't really do that during the basketball season. Random drug tests and shit could make me lose my scholarship."

"Yeah," I whisper.

So she lost somebody too. Should I tell her about my parents? About the empty void inside of me? About the creature who emerged from the cracked, frozen depths of my heart, like a sea monster?

No. I saw the way Eileah got angry with me back there. What if I open myself up to Delya and she uses my pain against me when I'm down or hurt? I would honestly do the same to a friend if they crossed me or angered me. I can't risk it.

"You want me to get you something from one of the stands?" I ask her, nodding my head towards the long lines. "I could probably steal something."

Delya chuckled. "I can already tell you're gonna be a bad influence on me, Laja."

"Yeah. It seems to be what I do best," I smirk.