Her Narcissist

"Confessions"

eileah

"Thank you for seeing us," I tell the doctor as soon as we enter his office. Laja sends him a smile too, not putting in any effort to show that it isn't forced. I kick her leg underneath his desk but her face smoothes into blankness. "So, what brings the two of you in today? I don't usually get many students on Monday's, believe it or not."

"Really, why's that?" I ask, trying to come off as polite.

"No clue. I guess the week's stress hasn't quite kicked in for them yet," he chuckled. "My entire schedule for the day is actually free. I'm probably the least busy office in the entire clinic right now."

"So, Dr. Garcia, my girlfriend Laja has been here to see you before," I say, laying that out here before we even start. I look over at Laja and she starts her apology. "No need. News like that can rattle anybody's can," he chuckled. I tried to keep a kind expression on my face despite how corny this guy was.

"So what seems to be the problem for the two of you today?" I tried to think of the best way to phrase our reason for coming, but I realized that there's just some sort of things that you have to lay out there bluntly. "It's really with her, not so much me. You mentioned NPD the last time you and Laja met, correct?" I question.

"Yes," they answer at the same time.

"I've been doing some research and I've actually been leaning more so towards ASPD."

Dr. Garcia chuckled, making a big show of reshuffling some papers he had on his desk. "Now, I'm glad that you both are aware of Laja's unique...outtake on the world, but let's not self diagnose. I'm only a school psychologist. I'm only licensed in a certain amount of things and essentially I'm just here to give a lot of you stressed-out college folk some peace of mind."

"So basically you don't think that she has any sort of personality disorder?" I ask bluntly. I don't bother looking over at Laja, I can't imagine how she must feel right now. Everybody telling her the way she acts and feels is wrong but no one wanting to tell her what's actually wrong with her.

"I'm not saying that. It's just that I can refer her to someone who can. I serve an entire school. I have counselors who work under me, that she could talk to, but nothing school funded would be long term or most likely beneficial to her. The best resources anyone in my department can offer is calming techniques and ways to reach out to certain foundations, centers, or websites."

"So basically you're the stepping stone to her receiving the help that she needs," I recap.

"Yes."

"And you can't really help us," I repeat.

"I can only refer," he shook his head.

"Are there any free options? I mean, we're college students," I look over at her. Her face is blank but I can see the sadness in her eyes. "It's fine. My aunt and I would be able to work something out," she mumbled.

Dr. Garcia turned to his computer. "I have an amazing friend only fifteen minutes away from here." I nod, glancing over at Laja. She shot me a thumbs up but I didn't know whether to believe it was genuine or not.

"We also came for help with couple's counseling. I was wondering if there was any-

"Oh, you saw the flyers? You're the first couple to sign up," Dr. Garcia clapped happily. It was an odd sight. He was large and burly, red in the face, clapping like a child at Christmas. "Um, yeah," Laja looks over at me, as if to ask if I had seen the flyers. I shook my head no, turning my attention to the signup sheet the doctor was pulling out.

"Here we go. Write your names down so we can know to expect you. There will be pizza and board games throughout the first meeting for the couple counseling club, in case you forgot from the flyer."

"Alright, uh," I signed first then passed the sheet to my girlfriend. I smiled a little to myself. Yeah. My girlfriend. "Well, I guess that's it then, Dr. Garcia," I stand and Laja follows my lead.

"I'll email you my recommendations for therapists, Laja," he said in his gruff voice, "We can figure this out."

We give him respective nods and head out of the office. Once outside his door, Laja seemed to deflate into defeat. "Ain't no way my aunt can afford all of this. She's already been generous enough to pay for my schooling, since my parents...you know. I don't know how I'm gonna make this work," she sighed.

"Well, we'll have to, because we need to figure out how to," I looked up at the ceiling, trying to think, "we need to figure out the best way for you to live."

We left the clinic, me shooting Rory's partner a sugary sweet smile. I didn't want her to see me down. That's one thing about me: the enemy should never see me hurt. "Maybe you can pick up a job with more hours and help your aunt with the payment of things. She'll appreciate it, and she might be more willing to spend money on you if you're contributing at least a little bit," I shrug. "And the couple's counseling is free, so we're straight with that."

"I know, I just...I always sucked at jobs," she groaned. "Shit, me too," I agreed. "One time I showed up to Walmart after I took a two day lunch break," I chuckled. Laja looked over at me then laughed, "Yo ass do everything but follow the rules."

"I know you not talking," I pretend to look her up and down, smacking my lips. "You look really beautiful today, Ms. Mink," Laja distracts me, grabbing me by my neck gently and pulling me against her. "Shining brighter than the sun."

I blushed, not used to being treated like this. "Thank you, Laja." She smiled softly, "You know how you could thank me, mamas? You could..." she whispered the rest into my ear, making my spine tingle.

I tried to keep a hard smile off my face as we walked side by side past the fake courtroom on campus. "Whatever this other doctor or therapist or whatever decides, don't let it deter you," I tell her. "It might be depression you've got for all we know, or a personality disorder, or anxiety. Anything. But whatever it is, just know that ima be here to help you work through it. You might not have felt like you had anybody before, but babes...I'm what you've been waiting for, ight?"

Laja smiled down at me, eyes watering up with tears. She tried to blink them back but I rubbed my head against her shoulder, and felt their coldness drip down onto my face. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that, Eileah."