Her Narcissist

"Happiness is an Illusion"

laja

"Laja," Hoe #7 purred besides me.

I hadn't even gotten a chance to change the sheets from my previous girl before Hoe #7 wanted a few rounds with me. "What?" I mumble, my face buried into my pillow. I put my heart into that shit, had water gushing from her. Had organs exploding. Had her heart tethering to mine. "You not going to class today?" she asks. But now I'm exhausted.

I jerk upwards, letting my body adjust to the quick movement. "Fuck, I forgot about class." Quickly getting out of bed, I get my old clothes off and walk nakedly towards my bathroom. "Can I come sit with you? I promise I won't bother you. All my classes got cancelled today," Hoe #7 asked in a baby voice.

"How yo classes got cancelled? Lucky," I glance back at her. I left the bathroom door open because I didn't completely trust her in my room alone. She was a hoe of mine, but I didn't know her that well. I grabbed a wet towel and cleaned up my essentials, glancing back at her every few seconds as she scrolled on her phone.

"Fine," she sighed heavily. "I dropped out."

I pause what I'm doing, toothbrush hanging from my mouth. "What? Why...?" I let my words trail off, realizing that I didn't even remember her name when I wanted to say it. "Can't afford it and," she played with her hands. "I'm pregnant, Laja."

My toothbrush fell to the bathroom floor and I stared at Hoe #7 in shock. "Wha- Wh- Really?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. It was with some dude from middle school. He hit me up," Hoe #7 hiccuped, "and said he wanted to catch up with me and smoke a bit. We chilled for about an hour then he started going crazy on me. I was out of it, but at the same time I knew I didn't want it. I was so outta there that I couldn't say no...that I couldn't stop him. He finished in me about three times...then he literally threw me out of his car. Called an Uber for me too, and the driver was screaming at me for bleeding and throwing up all over his backseat. Laja, I know you probably hate me right now," she sobbed.

I stared at her open mouthed, then picked up my toothbrush, landing a clean dunk in the trash can. I slowly approached her and pointed to the door. "I can't do this right now. You gotta get out."

"Laja, please," she stared up at me, eyes teary.

"I just need to think," I shake my head.

I watch as Hoe #7 leaves and then I finish getting ready for class. Going through my daily routine, I can't help but wonder what I did wrong for Hoe #7 to want to fuck with some nigga. But it wasn't her fault, Laja, some part of me whispered back. "But everyone blamed me...when it was me," I whispered angrily. I slammed my hands down on the counter, staring daggers at the mirror. "Fuck."

Why do I always end up with the fucked up people?

Maybe because you're fucked up too, Laja, I thought.

I shrugged my coat on and grabbed my car keys. Heading outside, I expected to find Hoe #7 waiting for me, begging for me to listen to her, but surprisingly, she was gone and the chill of a Houston winter took her place instead.

I hop into my black Hummer.