Sarah Paulson Mental Health One-Shots

Breathe -Mildred Ratched

TW: Panic attack, mention of homophobia and hydrotherapy.

Word count: 981

prompt: with the overwhelming environment of lucia, you start to have a panic attack and mildred is right by your side to help <3

It was another day in the lounge room in Lucia state hospital. Despite its bright, somewhat colorful interior design, the place brought you nothing but sorrow and nervousness. There was only one person who brought you comfort in this scary, unpredictable place and that was Nurse Ratched. Her kind yet mysterious brown eyes and constant reassuring words always made you feel safe.

The past few nights, you've had terrible nightmares after your recent session of hydrotherapy and Nurse Ratched was always there to console you, no matter the hour of the night. You will never forget the day you had the therapy for the first time. The way the boiling water burned your skin and the freezing tub felt like thousands of knives, stabbing you. She was there to hold you as you cried that night until you fell asleep.

There she was, wheeling in the cart of pills alongside Nurse Bucket. She walks over and hands you your medication cup. Mildred told you about a week after being here, that you should never take the pills. She pockets the medication and hands you the cup, as you throw your head back, pretending to take them. She smiles and takes the cup back from you with a wink.

She walks away and you remain on the comfortable couch with your legs under you, stuck in your own thoughts. You see Mildred look over at you a few times with worry but once you meet her gaze, she just gives you a smile. You return and feel a churning feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your breathing starts to become heavy and you stand up, rushing to the hallway to your bedroom. You shut the door and sink to the ground, trying to catch your breath. You clutch your chest with your hand as your vision becomes blurry with tears.

Your thoughts were clouding your head. This place, the recent therapy you've had for lesbianism and the thought of being here any longer was driving you near mad.

Across the room, you see a figure entering through the door, shutting it behind them and making their way over to you. By the blue nurses uniform and hat, you could tell it was Nurse Ratched. She kneels in front of you, trying to shake you from your terrified state as you hold your knees to your chest and feeling like you're suffocating.

"y/n? y/n it's me. It's Nurse Ratched. It's alright."
She wraps her arms around you, stroking your arms and hair as you sobbed. You immediately latch onto her, hands fumbling from her collar, to her sleeves and her shirt, pushing your tear stained face into her chest. She holds you close, rocking you back and forth. "Shhh it's okay baby. Don't cry. You're alright. You're alright."

You continue to try and catch your breath, causing her to pull back and hold your face in her hands. "Baby. Breathe okay? I'm here with you. Breathe with me." She takes your trembling hand and placed it on her chest. She takes a deep breath in, implying for you to mirror her actions.
"In." She says taking a deep breath in, "and out" she states, exhaling. You breathe with her the best you can. "Good girl." She whispers. You both repeat this a few more times, until you're finally breathing steadily.

"There we go." She smiles as you still breathe in and out. She pulls you into her warm embrace again as tears still streamed down your red cheeks. She strongly lifts you up into her arms, like a baby and carefully places you on the bed. She helps you get under the covers and tucks you in. She sits beside you on the covers, laying your head on her lap and strokes your hair. "What happened baby?" She whispered, looking down at you with sad eyes.

"I- I don't know. I just felt panicked all of a sudden. I don't want to be here anymore." You cry.

"I know my love. I know."

"You're the only reason I haven't gone completely crazy in this place Nurse Ratched."

"Please sweetheart, just call me Mildred. Well- not in front of Nurse Bucket."

You both smile and look up at her as she continues to play with your hair.

"Why are you so nice to me Mildred?"

"What?"

"Why are you always there when I need you? I'm just a patient. I'm just a sick patient."

"y/n, you are not sick."

"Yes I am. That's what everyone says. All because I don't love who I'm supposed to."

"I know it's hard y/n. I think it's barbaric myself. But I do care for you because you don't belong here. And you're special."

"How?"

"You just are. I've never felt the way I do around you."

You start blushing with a loss of words, which doesn't go unnoticed by Mildred. You see a smirk appear on her lips.

"Really?" You ask.

"Really."

You turn your head back to the side on her lap and wrap your arms back around her, nuzzling your head into her. She strokes your hair once again.

"You're always safe with me, y/n."

"I believe you."

"Do you want to know something?"
You nod your head yes and she hesitates.

"I have a plan. Huck and I, we're going to get you out of here. And you can stay with me."

"Really?" You beam.

"Yes my love. You shouldn't be here."

"Thank you Mildred."

"Of course."

"Mildred?"

"Yes baby?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

A/N: I don't really like this one but whatever 😭 plz leave suggestions babes<33 love you all