Sarah Paulson Mental Health One-Shots

Slip Up -Dr. Ellie Staple

TW: Self harm, suicidal thoughts, minor panic attack.

prompt: Ellie Staple is your therapist and comforts you when she finds out about your slip up.

You walk in through the big doors of the doctors office. It was your first week of your second month of therapy with Dr Ellie Staple. Every other therapist you've had, barely helped you but Dr Staple was different. She cared what you had to say and never invalidates your feelings. You go to her office and knock on the door.

"Come in!" You hear her sweet voice say. You open the door as she greets you with a bright smile. "Hey sweetheart how are you today?"

"Hi. I'm good." You reply, placing your backpack besides the couch you always sit in. You were lying though. You had relapsed last night. You didn't want her to know. She couldn't. Not after all your progress.

"How was school?" She asks, holding her clipboard on her lap with her legs crossed.

"It was okay."

"Just okay?"

"Yeah. I got a 53 on my algebra test. I'm really bad at that stuff." You laugh nervously.

"Math can be tough." She shrugs with a reassuring nod. You could tell she noticed how nervous you were being. She always noticed those things about you. "What else happened today?" She said with a smile. You were always the one to carry the conversation because she was such a great listener but not today.

"Nothing really."

"Really? You're usually full of stories y/n. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"y/n sweetheart you can talk to me."

"I know."

"But you're not. Come on y/n truly you can trust me. Whatever it is I'm sure I can help." She pushed, trying to make eye contact with you. You remained quiet and panic started to creep up your stomach. "y/n are you okay?" She asks as your breathing starts to get heavy. You nod as tears start forming in your eyes. "y/n?"

"I'm fine."

Ellie suddenly gets up from her chair and kneels in front of you, placing a hand on your cheek.

"y/n it's okay."

Ellie's pov:
Ever since I started seeing y/n, I felt this attraction towards her. The need to nurture her and take care of her. She was like a daughter to me. But at a moment like this, all the possibilities of things that could have happened start racing through my head.

"y/n please talk to me. What is it? Did something bad happen?" She slowly nods at me with tears in her eyes. "y/n did this 'something bad' happen to you?" I ask. She nods again and I take a deep breath for the next question I'm about to ask her. "y/n did you do something bad to yourself?"

She nods as she bites her bottom lip, sniffling. I stand up and take her in my arms.

"I'm sorry Dr. Ellie."

"It's okay sweetheart. It's alright." I don't think I'm really supposed to hug or touch my patients like this but I didn't care. She was practically clutching onto my sweater, uncontrollably sobbing and wasn't letting go. "What happened baby? Tell me what happened."

"I'm so fucking stupid. I was doing so well." She sobbed into my shoulder.

"You're not stupid. It's okay. We're going to get through this together alright?" I feel her nod and breathe out a faint "okay." She finally loosens her grip and I pull away from her, holding her face in my hands. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Well- I just- I feel like everything is falling apart. School, my grades, my mom fucking hates me. ...I just wanted to feel something other than sadness."

"I understand. Sweetheart everything is going to be okay. Thank you for telling me." She nods sadly and I sit back in my chair. "So what now?" She shrugs, shaking her head.

"I- I don't know."

"Well now we can look back at this and remember that it doesn't help. It never will y/n I promise. There are other ways to cope."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I promise everything is going to be okay."