Sarah Paulson Mental Health One-Shots

Perfect -Cordelia Goode

TW/CW: Sensory overload, sensory attack, panic attack.

a/n: Though I am not diagnosed with autism, I am actually currently being tested for being on the spectrum and I do struggle with sensory issues daily. They are not the same for everyone at all but this is mostly how I experience overloads and wish I could be taken care of lol

-Laney <3

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Sitting at dinner was always hard for you. The sounds of people yelling, chewing, forks against
plates, different smells all at once, bright lights, when your clothes suddenly feel like they're suffocating you.

Your breathing gets heavy and you look down at your plate, not wanting to eat anymore. Suddenly, Cordelia looks over at you and places a hand on your leg with a concerned expression. You jump and look at her with terrified eyes and Queenie laughs super hard at something, making you cover your ears and squeeze your eyes shut.

Everything around you was blank. The talking died down as everyone saw your current state. You soon feel hands on your knees and arms.

"y/n, listen to me. Shhh," Cordelia cooed.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. It's loud. It-it's bright. I'm hot," you mumbled as tears sprung from your eyes.

"No sweetheart. Shhh it's okay it's okay. It's quiet now. The girls left." You slowly open your eyes and see that the girls had respectfully left the room. "Come on baby let's go upstairs. Can I lift you?"

You look into her eyes and squeeze her arm twice to let her know it was okay. She smiled and lifted you from your chair by your under arms you and cling onto her as she brings you up the stairs, rubbing your back softly. She brings you to your room and shuts the lights off, making the calm fairy lights turn on.

She carefully laid you down on the bed and you look at the ceiling and the lights to calm yourself.

You started to feel yourself relax and she slowly opened your bedside table drawer, getting your headphones.

"Do you want your headphones baby? Or do you want me to play a record?" she asks softly. You had become non responsive so she carefully sits beside you taking your hand. "One squeeze for headphones, two for a record?"

You hesitantly squeezed her hand two times and she nodded with a smile. Once she walks to your record player, she got a Stevie Nicks vinyl, holding it up, waiting for your approval. You just smiled brightly and she put it on the turn table. She turned it to a low volume as the song "Sara" plays.

Looking back over to you, she sees you staring down, running your hands down your upper back to your shoulders with lots of pressure. As she sits back beside you, she takes that hand in yours and deeply looks at you.

"Do you want a massage baby?" she asked, seeing you were clearly craving more pressure on your back. You squeezed her hands twice for yes and she nodded. As she goes to the drawer again, she gets some essential oils. You take off your sweater and lay on your stomach. You soon feel her unclip your bra and put oils on her hands. She starts scratching and massaging your back with such care as she softly hums to the song.

"Thank you Delia," you mumbled.

"No problem baby girl," she whispered, gently roughing your hair before kissing your head. She continued and you soon felt sleepy. "Are you tired baby?" she asks. You nodded with your eyes closed as you hug a stuffed animal close you, rubbing the tag over your lips. It was a habit to do things like that, feeling materials on your face. Cordelia gently pulls your shoulder, getting you to sit up as you face away from her and she takes your bra off completely, knowing it bothers you and because you're going to sleep. She hands you your sweater and you shake your head no.

"Do you want to wear something else?"

You nodded in response and she goes to your closet, picking out something smaller, knowing sometimes you didn't like to have too much clothes on when you sleep. She stands beside you as you remained staring at the wall, handing you the tank top. You smiled and took it from her, slipping it onto yourself. Cordelia moved the covers down for you and you got under them, squeezing your stuffed animal. Cordelia turns on your oil diffuser and turns off the record player.

"Cuddle?" you whispered, looking up at the tall woman. She smiled graciously and nodded.

"Do you want your weighted blanket?" she asked, going to the small couch and grabbing it. You nodded. "Okay little bug," she smiled. She goes to the window and opens it a bit so you didn't get too hot and frustrated if you sweat. It was the little things like this that Cordelia always was tentative to. She treated you with so much care no matter what. You had some hard days with your disability. It was hard for you to have autism and she knew it but she never loved you any less.

She spread the blanket over you and got under the covers, holding you close to her chest. She has her chin above your head, gently rubbing your back.

"Are you okay honey?"

You just nodded, holding her a little tighter with a small smile. She scratches your arm up and down, knowing you loved when she did that. She kissed your forehead and you pressed your cheek against her chest because you liked skin to skin contact.

"I-I'm sorry Cordelia. I don't know what came over me. I hate being like this."

"Sweetheart, it's okay. I'll always be here for you. You shouldn't hate anything about yourself. You are perfect the way you are. I love you."

"I love you too Dee. Thank you for everything."

"Anytime my little love bug."

a/n: Hope you guys liked this one. suggestions please please please☺️☺️☺️☺️