An Eternal Bond

The Conquerer

Have you ever felt the feeling of drowning?

You can still see the light shining through the surface of the water, knowing you can't get to it as you sink deeper and the deeper, the light ceasing.

You can't see the bottom. There is no hope of you seeing the bottom before you finally run out of breath and die.

The sea creatures creep up, awaiting your death so they can consume you without you struggling.

And the people on the surface? They have no idea where you are.

You can try to reach out, you can try to scream, but it'll never be heard. You'll never be seen.

That's how it feels to lose someone important to you.

You want to talk about it with someone, but it'll never be the same as talking to them. You try to cope with it using things you enjoy, but you're just reminded of the memories with them.

No one can truly see the suffering in your mind as you try to reach out for help. No one can hear the screams and cries for help in your head that you try to hide.

It was like that person, or those people, were the only ones that could hear you.

It's like you can't breath, your being held at rock bottom until you finally lose yourself.

But sometimes, you can hear the muffled calls of those that still stand with you. The voices that make you want to try and fight the currents of life.

And you see their hand break through the water, ready to grab you and pull you up.

Ace, you were once that voice. Mom, Oyaji, Thatch, you were once that hand that reached out to help me. And I'm so grateful. But now, you're not there.

I truly thought there was no one else.

But there was.

Marco, Izo, Luffy, Sabo, all of them. While they're not replacing you, they've helped just as much as you did.

Life always made it feel like I was drowning, held underwater. And somehow, every single time, there was someone, some people, that grabbed me and pulled me back up.

I know that I'll never forget what happened. I know that the remnants of the past will always be here, in my head, in my heart, in my memories. But the seeds of the past that managed to survive really grew.

Mom, I'm not the naive and fragile little girl I was before. I don't need to be standing behind you as you protect me with everything you have. I'm the protector now.

Oyaji, I'm not the gentle girl that I was when you met me. I'm stronger, and I can fight for those I care about. I'm a fighter now.

Thatch, I'm not the dumb little girl that ran throughout the ship like it was a toy store. I've matured, and I'm smarter. I can solve my problems now, without you having to jump in and help me. I'm a thinker now.

And Ace... to be honest, I'm still the silly, sarcastic, and awkward girl you knew. But something's changed. I'm not the Copy Cat everyone knows me as. I'm not just Ace's girlfriend. I'm not just one of Oyaji's crew members. I'm not just the only survivor on the attack of the unknown island.

I've taken over. I'm the ruler of myself, never ruled by fear or anger. I've conquered the darkest parts of my mind that I've hidden away. Dear Ace, I don't want to be known as the Copy Cat anymore. I'm not mirroring those around me. Instead, I'm taking over.

I'm the Conquerer.

•••

"You having fun reading that?"

Izo looked up at me. "It's well written. There isn't any spelling or grammar mistakes." He handed me the paper and smiled. "You've gotten good at writing."

"Have I? I still think I need to improve." I walked up to the railings of the ship and folded the paper. "I was planning on leaving it at Oyaji and Ace's grave but I don't know if I should." I threw it and it flew away in the wind. "Maybe they'll see it."

Izo stood next to me, his arm around my shoulder. "Don't worry. They will."

There was one part of that letter that Izo didn't read. It was on the back, in tiny handwriting. It said this:

Ace, the people in my life come and go, and sure, I'll be friends with them, consider them family. But they would never take your spot in my life, because you take up many.

You're my boyfriend, my comfort, my shelter, my saviour, my joy, my other half. You're my world. And that will never be replaced by anybody. It never could be.

I may have conquered the dark corners of my brain, my insecurities, and my weaknesses. But you did it first. And I'll always love you for that.