Now's Your Chance!!! Spamton x Reader

The Room Where It Happens

"Woah-ho-hoah, some[[TWO FOR ONE]]'s greedy, EAHEHAHAHeAHa!" 

You lift your head, blinking bleary eyes at Spamton. He's looking in at you from the dumpster lid, and for a moment, you're disoriented. Why are you in a dumpster, again?

Oh, yeah. You fell asleep here. It can't have been more than an hour ago, based on how tired you still are, and how the alleyway is still cast in the same sort of shadow it was before. 

Spamton sees you looking past him, and shifts his body so he's directly in your line of sight.

"Hey buddy. Pal. My best [[Stranger]]. You're in my [[Condominium]]. And while I would do anything for a [[Friend Request Accepted]], I wasn't expect3d any guests, if you [[can anyone hear me?...]]." His voice wavers, but his irritation is clear. 

You can barely process what he's saying. You're tired, and you only have one thought running through your head.

"Give me back my wallet."

He blinks. 

You crawl out of the dumpster, ignoring the pins and needles you have from the awkward sleeping position, instead focusing on getting out. Spamton hops off the edge and backs away, sweat shining on his seemingly-porcelain face.

"Hey, that was strictly [[BUSINESS]], kid. Your [[Sales Gone Down The Drain?]] already."

"Give me back my wallet," you say again, limping towards him as your legs regain life.

"I--"

"I wouldn't have slept in your dumpster," you growl, "if I had had my wallet. I would have found a place to stay."

"Kid, come on--"

You lunge for him. He yelps in surprise. Just as your hand lands on his slicked-back hair, he manages to slip out of your grasp, leaving you with nothing but an oily, tacky feeling on your fingers.

"Hey! Don't touch the [[merchandise]]!!" He runs a hand through his hair, fixing it while you glare at him. Your leg is trembling again, and you just have to let it sit for a moment while the tingling fades. And thus, you're at a standstill again.

"I want my wallet, Spamton. You're my friend now, right? Why won't you give it back?" 

"Finders keepers?" He says, offering a sheepish grin.

Before you can properly attack him, he raises his arms in defense.

"OKAY, okay! I made a [[gorgis]] deal with it already. Before you say anything!," he rushes out as you snarl, continuing, "I get it. I can see that this isn't exactly [[W1ld Pr!zes!]] for either of us."

He looks past you at the dumpster again.

"Do you really have nowhere to go?" His smile drops, and he just looks concerned.

"I... yeah. This is it." You feel a weight pressing down on you. You really were alone. It hadn't sunk in before, and even now, it was still... difficult to process. You might be staying outside for a long time. Especially without any money.

The little salesman's frown deepens.

"Well, I can't [[Leaf Blower, Half-Off!]] you out here in the cold, can I? I know too well how it feels to live out here. In a GOD DAMN GARBAGE CAN." He laughs, but there's no humor to it. "No, that's no good. Let's [[EXPRESS SHIPPING]] this process, shall we? I told you to meet me at my [[Storefront]] before. Why don't we [[BUY NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE]]?" 

You give a defeated smile.

"Yeah, okay."

He claps his hands together, grinning broadly.